Five days postpartum and feeling guilty about missing life before baby

[Foxskin]

New mum baby girl is 5 days old and I feel an unbelievable amount of guilt I had quite a traumatic birth and the “baby blues” hit really hard in the evenings I feel like I’m mourning the loss of what my relationship was like before. I love my lil girl and wouldn’t change her for the world but I miss it being just me and my partner am I alone with this feeling?

Ah, no you're not alone lovely. When my first was born I was completely shell shocked for the first 3 or so months! Couldn't quite believe what I'd done. I loved her enormously of course but you can hold more than one emotion - it's totally okay to love her, and also miss what was. Your life has literally changed over night! I found the shift of going from 0-1 child so much harder mentally than 1-2 because of that.

Be gentle with yourself, you're also only 5 days in and your hormones will be haywire, you're sleep deprived, and your body is recovering. Get all the help you can and take it day by day, soon you'll get into a rhythm and it all starts to feel a little easier x

That's totally natural, I felt the same. Just take it easy and don't be hard on yourself. You're doing a great job. Wth babies this small, everything changes day by day. If you're feeling down, just think: "this too shall pass!"

It's a very emotional time and your body will have gone through a lot. Hormones all over the play and little sleep. You'll settle in soon and if not, reach out for some help from the GP which is also nothing to be ashamed of x

Congratulations on your new baby 🩷

What you're feeling is totally normal! As pp said, the birth of my first child absolutely floored me and for a good 6-8 weeks I felt such a range of emotions. Of course I adored her, but I also worried I'd made a mistake.

Day 5 is when a huge amount of hormones crash so some turmoil is expected, but you've also gone through something major emotionally and physically recently.

I remember confiding in my best friend that I was experiencing grief for my old, carefree life. You are very normal and it really does get easier, especially when you can start getting proper sleep.

Keep talking to your partner and remember you are a team in this. Take any offers of help. It's such a cliche but once the cloud passes you will look back on these days much more fondly xx

I miss it too. I have 2 kids 6 and 3 and I miss my life terribly. But as time went on I wouldn’t go back, but it took some times to get here. Don’t feel guilty for feeling things.
every mother either does or has felt the way you do and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It is not shine and rain woes it’s hard graft and you’re doing amazing.
Speak to your midwife. The baby blues goes. It took me 2 weeks. You’ll be ok. Hang in there❤️

PS- it DOES get easier!. X

Totally normal it’s the biggest change in your life. I still feel like that some days and mine is 2! Doesn’t mean I regret it, it’s just an adjustment

Nights are so hard with a newborn, they are the worst.

My DS is 2 and I still miss my old life terribly. Some days I think wtf have I done. Things do get easier of course, but you won't have chill evenings with DH for a long time. It's definitely an adjustment.

Oh god love you are NOT alone! When I had my first I remember meeting with NCT friends and one said does anyone feel like they’ve made a huge fucking mistake and the entire table burst into tears because that’s exactly how we all felt but felt awful to say! Just saying it made us feel better! We’ve all gone on to have 2/3 more so it definitely does pass but JFC it’s HARD at the start!!

Yes, you now have the biggest responsibility in your life and it’s going to be with you all the time at first. Try not to freak out. They ‘ll grow up. It is a bit mind blowing.