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Original poster

Six-year-old soiling again after treatment and we are struggling to cope

27 replies

AmpleHam · 07/09/2026 22:28

I, and my partner, are completely at the end of our tethers, hence asking for advice please.

Our 6 year boy has been soiling and pooping his pants for around 2 1/2 years after successful potty training. He’s been through disimpaction twice and is under a bowel and bladder nurse but he ends up back where we started. He soiled himself 6 times yesterday. I just don’t know what to do. We’ve tried timers, books, games to keep him on the toilet, no joy. Consequences, rewards, no joy. He’s showing signs just doesn’t seem to care.

He’s showing signs of adhd, pda, or similar. Has seen a psychologist at school but she seems to be focussing on his apparently high sensory needs and all she has suggested is giving him crunchy things to eat…helpful!

He also steals food and drink all the time, hides it, quite deviously.

He clearly listens to what we say, but does what he wants to anyway. He’s unmanageable, and causes endless chaos.

Is this normal?? Are we expecting too much?? We honestly feel we can’t cope any longer. I’ve tried to contact the GP, but they are constantly unavailable due to high demand. Just feel we need some kind of support, help, anything.

Most days I’d rather be anywhere rather than here. I’ve never been more unhappy than I am now.

Sorry this is a bit rambling, reflects my mindset, has anyone got any suggestions?????

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
fashionqueen0123 · 08/09/2026 23:33

atriskacademic · 08/09/2026 23:22

@fashionqueen0123 It seems as if you are running a very similar system!

The consultant emphasised to us the importance of not making him sit on the toilet too long, but at the same time keeping the whole focus on the toilet (hence no tablet and the limitation to 10 minutes). My son himself came up with the 5+5 system. Generally, he did his toilet sit before breakfast (it just fitted better). If the 5+5 did not lead to any result, he would also do another 5 minutes after breakfast, which then often worked. These days, we are close to 100% success after the first five minutes.
I figured out that he needs a very high dose of Senokot when I forgot the measuring cup on holiday. We were on 20 ml beforehand, and that only led to limited success. I think I accidentally overdosed him, and he had the biggest poo ever recorded in a six-year-old, but no accidents at all that day. We then asked the consultant whether we could increase the dose, and they were ok with 30 mils. He is still on 30 mils now, but I think we might soon be ready to decrease it.
One other thing we did for a while on the Laxido front - all approved by the Consultant by the way! We used to swerve between a low dose (i.e. 1 sachet) and a high dose (i.e. 3 sachets). The principle was to firm things up one day and flush them out another. Worked a treat for a long time, but is not necessary any more now.
Over the years, we have decreased the Laxido down to 1 dose. We also rarely need to vary the dose now. Only if he doesn't do a poo for more than a day, we give him 3 for a mini clearout and that generally is enough!
Except for the private consultant we saw, I also got most of my best advice online. There is an encopresis forum on facebook which was helpful. GPs are generally useless with this condition, as are some hospital consultants (our first one wasn't great until we were referred to another team).

Yes very similar! Yes eventually we’ll have to take the iPad away but for now she enjoys doing a toilet sit as knows she’ll get to go on it haha! Sometimes she’ll use a book. It was the only way to get her to stay there! The toilet sits reduced the accidents so much. I wish we’d known about them before. And that it was better to slowly reduce the movicol not just come off it. Could have saved ourselves a year of it!

Iizzyb · 09/09/2026 23:09

Just to add to all this excellent advice is it possible he gets involved in playing & doesn’t notice he needs to go? Probably isn’t the main cause it just sounds like you need to get the meds etc and toilet sits in regularly etc but if it could be a factor you need to make sure he comes off his game or whatever he’s doing to go to the toilet.

our continence said do “rock and poo” so rock backwards & forwards while sitting on the toilet the same number of times as the child’s age

to begin with we also had rewards every time he did a toilet sit for however long (I forget now)

it’s nobody’s fault but hopefully you’ll find the right dose & combination soon it is so hard on you too x

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