Underweight 11 year old

[Itsallsonew]

Hi my stepson has come to see us after 3 weeks away he has just turned 11. After his holiday he is fixated on how food and drink feels as it goes round his body. With encouragement I have got him eating maybe 800 calories a day. He is 142 cm and 27 kg and his shoulder blades are really protruding. He was always slight so obviously not eating has hit fast. He will only take tiny sips of drinks too nowhere near enough liquid. His mum says yesterday when he got home he ate and drank normally but and we are worrying without need. He lives with her 40 miles away. After he eats or drinks he says different parts of his body hurt. He started senior school Friday, got sent home early unwell. For not eating. His dad sent an email to his form teacher to check on him from today. We are very worried and want him checked by a doctor. Are we overreacting like his mum thinks ?

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. My 11yo eats like an adult and I think weighs almost 50% more. Presumably your dp is his dad, he should take him to a gp, and tell the mum I’m worried, what we are seeing is not healthy at all and needs support, and his school are seeing the same thing. It would be neglect of me to not act on this for my son. We will keep a food diary and share it with you and report back on what the gp says although it’s probably just referring on to a specialist.

then focus on healthy. So go for walks, and have a snack halfway so more distracted out and moving. Make food healthy but not boring. Set some fruit and veggie goals for the day. Very tricky though as it’s mental health.

Thanks the only ptoblem is he lives with his mum and she is resisting. Thinks we are overreacting and is telling us he is eating and drinking fine which is very much not the pattern we have seen. He is very worried and preoccupied with the feeling of eating and drinking and wants to see a doctor but she says as long as he is eating and drinking what is the problem. We have raised it with the new school but we are not due to see him again for another 2 weeks which is a worry!

That’s very worrying that he’s fixated on the feeling. Not so much the weight but the claims of pain. He needs to be checked for things like coeliac and chrons. The pain caused by eating the wrong things with IBDs can lead to food aversion. Take him to a doctor if you can.

Tell her to take him to a GP or you’ll happily take him yourself. Or, if she refuses to take him to a doctor when he’s reporting pain you can report her to social services.

Thank you, I think it's more psychological but yes he definitely needs checking. We are trying to keep things pleasant as don't want to upset ds with antagonism between desperate co parents. But yes we will have to step in if this situation remains.

That sounds about the weight of my tall thin 8 year old. It seems very low for the age and height you have mentioned. I think his dad needs to take him straight to the doctors.

It’s not a normal reaction to analyse how your body is processing the food you have just eaten. He really should be seen by GP and possibly referred to CAMHS if his weight and height ratio is low. At least by GP to check height, weight, blood pressure and heart rate. Could you check his height and weight when he is with you and ask your own GP if you should be concerned?

That's a good idea I will ask my doctor!

His weight is lower than the 9th centile.

If he’s always been on this centile then it’s not a worry but if he’s worried about how eating and drinking and dropping centiles then that is a concern.

How often does your DH have him? Is it 50/50? As his DF he doesn’t need permission from his ex to take his DS to the GP but the logistics may be difficult if they live 1.5 hours away and he has to take him out of School.

Is DSS very worried about the start of High School? Is he usually anxious?