We’ve been through a tough couple of years as a family but my main focus has been on the children. More recently we’ve spent time with other families (we don’t live anywhere near my parents or siblings) and I’ve noticed their children are more confident, able to look you in the eye if I talk directly to them, they’re curious, interested, able to hold a conversation with an adult…. At a recent village event there were opportunities for the children to take part in running races and obstacle courses but they refused. They stood on the side and watched others.
Their father has extreme mental health issues which have required lots of hospitalisation and crisis points in the last few years, which I handled without any support as the mental health teams focus on the patients not the carer or children. Friends had no idea what it was like to live in that situation and weren’t supportive/kept their distance so I learnt to do it all alone. We split up just under 2 years ago.
I am also being bullied at work at the moment and wondered recently if I’ve shrunk myself so much to handle these difficult situations and through no choice have limited contact with decent friends due to time and no one else to look after the children if I have shrunk our social circle so much the children don’t know how to socialise anymore? (I can count on one hand the friends I can rely on as the others ‘sides’ with the ill ex when I asked him to leave. I’ve lost trust in people if I’m honest.
The eldest is 14, youngest is 10-boys. The eldest won’t do any after school activities unless I really push him and is very hard to encourage to even see friends outside of school. I know the world is tough out there and the more people you know the better, the more extra curricular activities you do it’s better for making contacts for jobs etc in the future.
To not drip feed, we moved to a farming community 5 years ago where everyone knows everyone else and have generations of friends and families and I still feel an outsider.
Does anyone have any tips for how they’ve encouraged confidence in young teenage boy?