How long does it take you to get showered etc and leave the house in the morning with a toddler? Canvassing opinions.

[goofypanda]

Canvassing here for what is 'normal'. So how long does it take you to get ready and out the door with toddlers?

I'm going back to work soon after maternity and don't drive (so commute is over 90 mins) and I just don't know how I am going to do it because currently it's taking around 2 hours or at least 1.5 hours to get us both up, breakfast for DD and me, then change her twice usually need to, dress her, teeth, put her in playpen where she sometimes screams whilst I shower, get myself ready dressed etc and I have thin hair so needs styled which takes time.

I can't wake up at 5.30am!

Obvious solution is to get showered and do as much as possible at night but I have teenager as well and they are always occupying the bathroom and DP as well. I much prefer getting ready in the morning, hate showering at night but it doesn't seem feasible and I'm going to have to ask DP or teenager to swap with me. Only one bathroom, and childminder cannot give breakfast as has school runs to do.

I used to do face wash etc at home. But the make up, contacts and hair I would do on the train or in the loos at work before I logged on. On rough days when DC were being.. uncooperative.. I would end up brushing my teeth at work too. I gave up on contacts in the end and also changed my make up to be lighter and take less time (diff products)

Some colleagues used the showers at work due to cycling in and did their full routine in there including hair but I did not feel comfortable with that.

The other thing is, where is DH while you're juggling DD and your own needs? Are you making sure childcare, drop offs and pick ups are equally divided so you are not solely doing all of it, while his life carries on uninterrupted?

Reduce your standards. You hair doesn't need styling, tie it up. You don't need makeup, it's in your head. You'll get used to looking at yourself without make up fast.

DH gets up early because he needs to be at work early. He leaves us breakfast and a cup of tea. DS and I get up 70 mins before we need to be out. DS eats his breakfast with me, then plays with his toys in the bottom of the shower, before wet get dressed and out.

Get your self up and ready then tackle the toddler.

We shower at night.
Everything is ready. Lunchboxes, bags, clothes.

So. We wash and dress ourselves. And the children.

Toddlers eat breakfast at nursery.
We have something in the office packed the night before.

Max 30 minutes spent. We aren't fond of mornings.

When I had a toddler and through the early school years my rule was "nobody goes back upstairs". I always have a bath at night and then it was me dressed, them dressed, toddler in high chair while I make breakfast.
I did my makeup at the table with a light up mirror while they watched (apparently it was fascinating) and then at the time we were driving. I would sometimes have breakfast in a coffee shop to decompress after nursery drop off. I think in that case I did my makeup while they ate.
Bags were packed in the hall the night before though if we were driving they were in the car the night before.
When they were roaming a bit more free I'd put on an alarm with rousing music to say SHOES ON and one shortly after for OUT OF THE DOOR.
I tell you it was a military operation.

Im up at 6, have a quick cuppa and over night oats. Get dressed and clean teeth. I have yo say I rarely do makeup these days and just clip my hair up, sometimes mascara, eyebrows and a bit of cream blush if I have time! Then get my two up, clean nappies, get them dressed, teeth and hair then get them in the buggy and give them snacks ( bananas, rice cakes) and some water. Leave at around 7, 20 minute walk to nursery and they have a proper breakfast there.

Not long i have never styled hair or done makeup children or not, got most things ready night before

That routine is ridiculous and absolutely impossible once she's more mobile. No way an 18 monthbold or above will sit around for more than 30 seconds. And it will become dangerous to leave them out of sight for so long very soon.

You really need to be either a lot less vain or a lot more realistic.

Looking at your routine, from 7:40 - 8:25 is (almost) all about your hair. So 45 minutes on hair.

I think that is where you can get time back:

• do you really need to wash it every day or does it actually have more volume and style better on days you don't?
• can you find a quick up-do that looks styled but is quicker? I often do a French braid or something if I want to look like I made an effort but it only takes 5 minutes and will actually hold better on hair that hasn't just been washed.

Tbh, our morning routine (with 4yo and 1yo) also takes about 90 minutes on a work day and I have a 1hr train commute, but that's because we spend ages faffing around with breakfast. It's too long but I like eating breakfast as a family so I'm sucking up the 6am alarm.

Things I do to make it shorter:

• shower and bag packed the night before
• hair (and any makeup I can be bothered with) on the train or when I get to work

I think overnight oats or pre-chopped fruit would improve breakfast speed too, so I'll give it a try!

I would never shower in the morning. It takes me 10 minutes tops to get ready in the morning. Ideally, I’d like an hour and a half to get up and out the door, but could absolutely do it in an hour. You need to be a lot more low maintenance.

An hour - but I shower in the evening, so it’s brush my teeth - wake up toddler - brush their teeth and get dressed - breakfast - tidy up - change toddler - grab our bags and go.

Everything got prepared in the evening, clothes laid out, breakfast on the ready (yoghurt, weetabix and banana, not making crepe Suzette in the morning), bags packed, shoes by the door. Some time needs to be allocated for toddler drama as well.

Good point! One of mine woke for the day at 3:30am and this went on for 3months, we tried everything, and I was working with a 1 year old and a 3 year old. Don’t know how I worked!

I struggle to get myself up and out in less than 1.5 hours and it was probably 2-2.5 with a toddler. Mornings are when I'm at my slowest.

I chuck my hair back with a bobble and given up on makeup. I just use the 'soft focus' option on Teams.

Honestly, having read this, it takes you 45 minutes to get ready? I don’t think you will ever be able to reduce the time you need to get a child fed, dressed and ready to under 40 minutes, and mine is 5 now.

I used to get up about 6.30-6.45 to leave the house by 8am - my DP did the morning nursery run though so he was going stuff like getting shoes and coats on and getting in the car.
Do anything you can in the evenings would be my tip, and also get your DP involved!
Can he do breakfast or something while you get yourself ready?
It’s different when you’re on maternity as you’re going to be doing more childcare but when you’re both working it’s not fair if he’s not helping.
Also I never have breakfast at home myself on office days, I eat when I get to work or on the way there.

It's the hair that's causing your delay.
Do you really need to wash it every day? I know you said you have issues with thinning hair, and I can understand that you might to carefully style it every day, but could you wash it less often?
If you really can't do that, then wash it as soon as you get up and let it airdry while you sort out DD, so the final blowdry part only takes a few minutes. Also spend a bit of time researching and practising hairstyles that are quicker to do.
I used to get 3 DC ready and out the door in an hour, and I picked up some tips from my childminder who had 4 under 4 of her own at one point.
She used to keep all the children's clothes downstairs, so that she could easily change them ( and sort out laundry) without having to run up and down the stairs all the time. Same for toothbrushes. I didn't get them dressed till the last minute, so they would have breakfast in their PJs, and I would wear an apron to cover my work clothes. Bags and packed lunches sorted the night before.
MiL always kept her ( very minimal )make-up in the hall, and would quickly put it on as she was going out the door. If you are spending time on make-up, plan how you can reduce that. Lippy and eyeliner pencil can go on in under a minute.

Thinking outside the box a bit.

your commute is the biggest issue here. 90 mins- is this London or a city? Have you thought about cycling, an electric bike, or a moped?

i used to commute in London. 90 mins on bus/train, reduced to about 30 on a bike. Then I could also shower and get ready at work, breakfast at my desk.

if you aren’t into cycling or it’s longer then an electric bike or a moped would make a dent?

help- can you pay older teen to help out? Do the childcare run? Presumably they get themselves to school, so is the childminder doing the school run with other kids? Have you considered nursery so you can drop and they can breakfast there? This was a lifesaver for me.

where’s your dh in this? Can he do alternate mornings so you can take turns in getting to work early- dh and I used to do this, work allowed us to do 8:30 start or 9:30 alternate days rather than 9:00 every day. Or ask if you can do a later start and later finish, or longer days when dh/teen can pick up in the evening.

You said there's a DP. What are they doing during all of this?