Lost my temper at lunchtime with my toddler and feel awful

[Feelingawfulandguilty]

I feel horrible. My 15 month old refused to eat lunch today and I got really cross. I had signs of a migraine coming and was in a hurry and so had specifically cooked something he liked and he refused outright to eat it. He then started batting the food out of my hand. I got so cross I threw the spoon and it hit the table, bounced off and hit my child. They didn’t cry but looked a bit shocked and so I initially thought with relief that it had missed them but I’ve now noticed a small bruise. I don’t know if the bruise is even related or not but I feel completely awful and just want to cry - more than I already have. I have never hit my child and never would. I think I just put too much pressure on myself and my child today and, on top of sleep deprivation for so long, I just lost it.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Aw love, toddlers can try the patience of a saint. We've all lost our temper now and again and the spoon thing was just an accident. Don't beat yourself up!

Which self-aware parent hasn't lost it occasionally? Youvare in good company, OP 🤩

And if the poster was a man and he had shouted and thrown something, would the reassurance be the same? It is not nice to lose your temper and throw things and perhaps you need to look at strategies to manage anger. I am not blaming you, OP but it is easy to slip into a shouty mode. Posters are fond of saying if a Dad loses his temper it is never a one off. I don't agree, parents do lose their tempers and most are sorry about it. However, if it happens again you perhaps need to investigate coping coping strategies. Children quickly copy behaviours.
Hopefully, it was a one off and this incident will make you aware about the need to stay calm around small children, no matter how trying their behaviour. How would you feel if you saw the child's father behave in this way? Or a Nursery nurse or a teacher?

One instance of losing your temper isn't going to damage him but hopefully this has shaken you enough that you won't let it happen again. You know that when you feel overwhelmed, you need to walk away and take 5 minutes to gather yourself. Getting worked up about him not eating is a complete waste of time - if he doesn't want to eat, clean him up and take him out of the high chair & try again next mealtime when he's likely to be hungry. The odd missed meal won't do him harm. But trying to force him and getting angry will if you keep doing it.

You only JUST lost your temper? You have the patience of a saint.
Toddlers are miniature demons. Ignore the shitty comments, next time you feel like that grab chocolate and go hide in the bathroom for a few minutes.

Thank you all for your comments. I still feel bad but I feel better than I did - it was a mistake and it has definitely shaken me up and upset me enough that I will not do it again. Next time I’m tested, deep breaths and try some other food or take him out of his high chair will be the plan!