Letting my child out with friends

[user1480111163]

Over the summer holidays my 11 year old met up with one of his friends a few times. They went to the local park on their own and sometimes walked to the petrol station to get a snack or an ice cream. Later they asked if they could go to the high street. It is close to my house and only a bit further than his primary school, so I said yes. He texted me when he arrived and I gave him clear instructions about where he could go. He stuck to everything I asked.

They did have one moment where some older teenagers were messing about and aimed it at them. It shook them up a bit, but they did exactly the right thing. They ran to a nearby shop, called me straight away, and a woman nearby told the older boys to leave them alone. They were a bit shaken but they handled it well

Now he wants to meet another friend at the park on Saturday. I am fine with that. He is sensible and mature and has not done anything to make me think he cannot handle going out locally. He did ask about going somewhere on the bus which was a definite no from me.His mum does not think he should be going out alone at his age and she is not happy that I have allowed him some freedom. I never planned to start letting him out. It just naturally happened over the summer. I have told her what he has been doing and why I think it is good for him. I want him to build confidence and independence, and doing that with his primary school friends feels safer than suddenly doing it with new high school friends. I can also track his phone location.

Just wondering what other parents think about letting their kids out alone at his age.

11 is very young to be in town, and he had the type of problems you'd expect a young kid to run into.

Going to the local shop is ok.

You should be co-parenting, not just unilaterally deciding.

It sounds as though you and his mum aren’t together?
Mine started playing out with friends at the park aged 9, which is entirely normal where I live. They also walked to school with friends at that age and were allowed to walk to the nearest shop.
11 is starting secondary school age and therefore perfectly reasonable to play out with friends. Assuming he’ll be making his own way to school?

Sounds fine to me.

He encountered 'normal' life that he is, sadly, going to have to get used to and handled it well.

I'd hope with time he becomes more resilient and doesn't need to phone for support over every little thing, but that will come.

it depends on the kid, some are fine and you did say he was mature. Mine have been commuting across London from 11 to go to school, activities etc. Was worried at first, but can’t get bent out of shape as there is no alternative.

we are separated my house is 10mins walk from the high street and the park basically joins on to it.

Basically they play in the park sit and talk walk 5 mins to the high street buy sweets walk back to the park sit and eat them. The other child mum works on the high street too. So it's independence but never far away from help if needed. Might browse a couple of shops.

He's just started Highschool. He text me to ask if he can go other places or parks and asked for my permission before going.