1yo nursery struggles

[cheesegrated]

I am about to return to work full time and my LO has started nursery this week in a lovely setting with great, caring staff. He did a few settling in sessions which went well other than the odd cry on drop off or pickup. I am staggering the week so we get closer to the usual drop off and pick up times.

Yesterday was okay other than screaming when trying to be put down for nap, which he will sometimes do at home aswell and once down slept for an hour. Today he didn't eat his lunch and only napped for 10 mins. He is a great eater usually begging for scraps but wondering is this normal? The lack of nap and eating? Obviously it's a big change for him but I'm just worried if it continues or am I right in thinking he will eventually get used to it? It's just horrible especially when he did so well those past few weeks being there.

It's very early days, OP. He hasn't had time to build a bond with any of the nursery staff or recognise other babies and interact with them. You have to adjust yourself, to not being with him every day. So give it time! You're both only two days in. Most babies do adjust to nursery, and there's every reason to believe yours will too.

It's good that you are so positive about the staff. You are building your relationship with them, and placing your trust in them. If your little boy struggles over the next few weeks, I am sure they will tell you, knowing the patterns one-year olds follow. His short nap and not eating are just signs that he knows something is different.

You talk about him 'eventually getting used to it', which has a rather resigned tone to it. He may well come to love it and you'll have difficulty dragging him away when it's time to go home 😊

when my daughter started she wouldn’t eat or sleep we actually celebrated a 7 minute nap lol a few months later she sleeps for 2 hours and eats everything in sight stuff she’d never eat at home lol! She did however catch and in turn share the entire a-z of childhood illnesses

Thanks guys, this has been reassuring. I know it's such early days but I can't help but worry.
On pickup today they said he'd been very unsettled which I knew from the short nap and lunch. They said it was all very normal and tody has likely been the first time he has realised "oh, I'm coming here each day."
They said they will just keep on going and pointed out a little girl who was very like him at the start and the leader said they thought she would never adjust and settle but is now one of the best children in the room. It's just so hard though.

I didn't intend to sound that way about him getting used to it as I know they will be able to offer him so many more experiences and social interactions than I ever could. I'd honestly be delighted to see him running into play with new friends!
@idaglossop

Aww, poor wee thing. It's crazy how the little things make all the difference. I definitely do not envy the multiple illnesses though but I'm sure one will be coming my way soon enough! 🙈 @frankieneverrelax

Very normal. His world has just changed massively, and it will take him a while to adjust. Don't worry, he won't still be doing this as he is about to start Reception!

My second is coming up for her first birthday and has been in nursery 6 weeks and she has been sooo much harder to settle than my first was, it’s caused me so much stress! But it really is normal. Actually I got more of a shocked response about my son who from week one acted like the baby room was his new home than I have about her taking her a while to settle. The past 2 weeks she has been so much more settled during the day but the napping is still a disaster. They are getting in one 30-45m nap and they are fighting or their lives trying to get her to do that 😅. It does mean by the time I pick her up she is so tired and my evening with her is just her crying on and off from exhaustion and going to bed early and she is usually the happiest baby ever so it’s sad. Thankfully she only goes 3 days a week (my son was 5 but my mum semi retired last year and helps out now). It will get better and it will be the same for you I promise!
can’t relate on the eating though, my children literally never stop eating 😂.

Thank you! It's honestly heartbreaking, worse than I thought it would be. The little pictures and updates they send help a little (although in some pics he looks so sad) and being back at work will hopefully keep me distracted. It does make me appreciate the time in the mornings and evenings we have together all the more.

If he's still doing it at reception I may retrain and become a teacher in the school!! 😂 😂 😂

My first child went to a childminder. So the same carer every day. And it was still a whole term before he jumped into her arms and off he went and didn't cry when I came to pick him up. By the end just before school started he would get really cross if I ever picked him up early because I was clearly spoiling all the fun. (He's a strapping teenager now and goes off for week long residentials so much as a backward glance). Child 2 went off to nursery without a backward glance but funnily enough took a while to settle into school.

Both mine were like this. You have to remind yourself it's very EARLY days they aren't going to be eating and sleeping like they do at home straight away with new faces and surroundings.

Both mine took a good 3-4 weeks to settle in properly. You'll soon reach the frustrating part where they eat anything at nursery (spiced Moroccan lamb tagine or vegetable rice anyone) but will turn their nose up at everything at home, even if it's the same meal!

@PotolKimchi @Batcats thanks, this is reassuring. I'd love him to run in and not want picked up because at least I know he's happy.

Everyone I've spoken too has said the same, early days and he'll settle eventually.
I have stopped myself looking at the app now as it just makes me worry for him. Thankfully he has eaten some lunch and had a little water.

Baby steps!

Bear in mind molars come in age 1 and they are horrible. Mine turned into an emotional non-sleeping monster for about a week before every molar. Our life was very up and down until 16 months when the first set of molars finished coming through.

Solidarity . I am in the exact same boat as you right now . I could have written your post word for word. The updates with the dinners and “ate none” and the sleep refusal are quite disheartening. My dc is my second and my first dc settled much more quickly into nursery and napped with no issue . I do think they will settle with time , and the staff are so used to dealing with all sorts of children , which is what reassures me

Oh yes we have the molars coming in which I know are part of it. Don't think we have given as much medicine as we have with these. Poor wee guy just isn't geyyltm a break

I'm sorry to read this, it's been one of the hardest baby stages I think. I didn't think I'd want to be a sahm (couldn't afford to anyway!) but this would definitely make me change my mind if circumstances were different.
I'm sure you were expecting your wee one to take to it just the same as the older one. Here's hoping you all have a brighter day tomorrow.

I did and I have to say I would find this harder if this was my first child and I didn’t have the knowledge I have at the moment that kids can thrive at nursery . I know this to be true from my first who I must add was a Covid kid who spent the first 12 months of his life with me and basically no one else yet thrived when he started at age 1 . It is hard though . The last day I was in ds2 clung to me and cried. It was horrible. Ds1 is absolutely thriving at school and is still friends with some of the the toddlers he went to nursery with at age 6, if that is any consolation to you .

Not being unkind but don't read too much into all these little quirks. He will grsduslly acclimatise himself. Rather like you starting a new job. Dont worry and don't set off on a guilt trip. He will be fine. If its normal to him its normal. You're both doing fine.

Thank you, that is the common sense I know I need to hear! Deep down I know he will be okay and he's safe there.

it took a few months for my little one to settle and there were a few setbacks when she was ill or teething, etc honestly she was fine after that initial settling in point and she sleeps better there than she does at home and eats better there than she does at home and she’s a good eater 😂
it’s so hard for you too the worry of leaving them and being upset etc, it will get easier ❤️