How old is old enough for DD to play out?

[morris92]

Myself and her dad have recently started discussing the idea of letting our DD play out on the estate with her friends.

She is 9 and going into year 5, her friends in the year above were already playing out at her age on our estate.

Dad is more pro than me, our estate is socially (not by me) deemed the “nice” estate, granted that means naff all because weirdos could be anywhere, it’s large but off the main road with a park in the middle. DD is a good kid who I trust to be sensible and just an all round nice kid, IF we do agree it will be with our old phone on her and tracked and she is not allowed off the estate or in people/ friends she might make that we don’t know house/garden obviously.
I know eventually we will have to give her more freedom, it’s other people I don’t trust
what age did you give your child more freedom?

God she’s 9 let the poor kid out!

Mine are older but don’t play out, think it depends where you live, we live on a main road in London so no kids play out, if it was a quiet estate then yes I think 9 is ok

9 is plenty old enough imo

It depends on your neighbourhood but mine were playing out around 7, they got phones though at 13, they don't need phones at 9.

My ds has just turned 9 this summer and we have started letting him play out with this friends in the street.

We live in a quite cul-de-sac, but he is allowed around the corner to the park and to a few other local streets. He has to wear his watch and come home at the time we tell him. He does not have a phone or tracker and he has never missed a curfew so far so all going well.

Mine were 6 and 7

they were in the same street, no elsewhere

they walked to school and home from year 3, the school was round 3 corners. The biggest danger was driver’s tbh

It totally depends on the situation and where you live. Mine have played out from 4. But we live on a farm. No public roads. Their friends walked across fields to come play and they’d run around in fields or the woods. It’s all private land and very safe. We don’t even lock our doors here at night and all neighbours are friends. We had a WhatsApp group so we could find them.

My youngest is 8 now and I’d probably be comfortable with him walking around the village with friends or walking to a friend’s house solo. The most dangerous bit would be cars as he’s not used to roads around here. But again village is very safe. It depends on how well you know everyone, how safe the estate is and how sensible she is.

Age 6/7 would be typical as a starting point depending on the individual child.

I think 9 is fine for playing out as long as you know where they’re going and what time they’ll be back

It really depends on several things including the child themselves, their level of maturity, the area you live in, etc… But broadly speaking I’d say in a ‘nice’ area a 9 year old should be able to play out. Mine was doing it at about 7.5.

Kids here are not even school age and can play out. Sad that you live in such a poor neighbourhood

I let my 7 year old dd and 4 year old ds play in the street with friends typically one adult is outside with them but most of the time the front door is just kept open, they ride their scooters up and down and know not to cross the road without an adult present.

As the mum of a child (now aged 40 lol) who was knocked down by a car while crossing at the wrong place, I can positively confirm that knowing and doing are not always aligned 😂

Ours didn't but we were in London and nobody else did either.

Nine?

many kids are playing out in their street etc from six or seven. Is she really not sllowed out without a parent at all?

If she doesn’t try new things she won’t learn to manage any kind of risk. 9 would be quite late to start letting her out in a lot of places but you know your local area.

If you’re in a safer estate then this is just as much about you letting go as it is about her safety.
Let her play within a smaller radius then gradually increase it. Kids much younger have been out on our ‘nice’ estate all of the holidays. Mine were out from 6/7 on a safe cul de sac but we had a parents WhatsApp group and all the neighbours looked out for them.

I live in a small estate with a green space in the middle. My kids were 4/7 when we moved here and have been allowed to run around the green since then. Since around 6 my son has been in and out of his 2 friend’s houses on the estate. Now he’s 10 he’s obviously allowed further out but he mostly just heads to his friend’s house a few blocks away, he’s not really been pushing for more. My daughter could go hang out at the park and shopping centre next to her school from p6 so I guess 9/10. she had a phone but we got a kid watch for my son when he was 8 and started walking the mile to school by himself and it’s been great.

I'm in the trenches with my nearly 9yr old too. Similar type of area id assume. We're in a cul de sac where she has been allowed within viewing distance and calling distance since she was 5 with the neighbour boy who's same age. That was enough until this year where she has requested a bit more freedom on the leash 🥲 we got her a kidsnav smart watch as im opposed to phones for primary aged kids and its good as can track and call her. Over the summer we have gradually allowed her further down the estate gradually but only with another kid, not alone. Its tough! I work in a field where I know there are undesirables even in the nicest areas so it makes me a lot more cautious.

@EmmaM84would you recommend the Kidsnav watch - which one did you get?

I live on a small estate in a safe area with a green in the middle, my daughter has been playing out with her friends of the same age since she was five. I think if it were a bigger estate with lots of cars I wouldn’t let her but mainly because I don’t think her road sense is there yet. I think at 9 most kids have road sense.

Depends where you live. I in London and nobody really lets their kids fully out til proper teen years, but from about 7 parents will meet up for a coffee in a park and then kids have quite a wide free rein within it. It sounds like your estate is similar to that.

How many already do it?

My dd is 9 and doesn't play out, but there's no culture of it locally - no other kids do it so she'd just be on the street on her own (in London). Our specific street is around the corner from a homeless hostel and probation hostel, with lots of drug dealers locally, so it's not overprotective to want to have adult supervision nearby.
Everyone does play dates or trips out with a parent/nanny present, though often not much supervision if a parent is wfh. All the dcs start travelling to school and extracurriculars on their own from yr 7 though so the independence ramps up rapidly from then.

Kids play out from about six here - a 9yo not playing out would be considered incredibly unusual and a bit strange.

Finding this really interesting. We live on a new build estate with quite a few parks dotted around it. Generally very quiet but cars drive fast and delivery vans even faster. Next to open countryside.

We live next to an open space with a playpark and lots of paths for walking. We just have to cross one road to get to it and its visible from our house.

I dont let my 5.5 year old out by himself and I know a few other parents who dont either. However, some of neighbours children have been playing out and about since they were about 2 or 3 in a group. Absolutely no road safety either.

They're now about 7 or 8 and often out completely on their own, riding around, sometimes in a small group.

I can't see myself letting my son out at age 6 by himself - it seems so young. 9 seems OK but others think this is too old to start? I know you have to make a judgement call depending on individual circumstances but 6 seems too early to me.

It obviously completely depends on the place.

I let my children play within my eyeshot until they were around 9 and then I let them go to to the green around the corner. But we don’t live in a great area. In your case, I’d let her. I’d just really try to drill car safety into her. Kids don’t have the ability for full road sense until they get to 12 or older.