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Original poster

Do you love the second child as much?

68 replies

cornflakegirl · 27/06/2008 23:05

I have one DS aged 3. Would quite like another child, but slightly worried that I might not love another one as much as I love DS. DH and I are still besotted with him (most of the time ), and regularly share "isn't he fantastic" moments. Would we feel the same way about another one?

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cornsilk · 27/06/2008 23:07

yes!

hellymelly · 27/06/2008 23:07

yes ,you will fall in love all over again,it is FAB.

BirdyArms · 27/06/2008 23:08

Yes!

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sleepycat · 27/06/2008 23:09

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GrinningGorilla · 27/06/2008 23:10

Absolutely. You will love him/her just as much and find them just as fascinating! Don't worry.

PortAndLemon · 27/06/2008 23:11

Yes.

unknownrebelbang · 27/06/2008 23:11

Without a doubt.

And the third.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 27/06/2008 23:13

yup. And then you might even worry that you secretly prefer no 2 when no1 hits awkward phases!

maidamess · 27/06/2008 23:13

Yes, actually more than 1st or 3rd. But don't tell.

LynetteScavo · 27/06/2008 23:17

When I was pregnant with DS2, I felt really guiltly, as I didn't think I could possibly ever love a child as much as I loved DS1. I felt like I was purposfully producing a child I wouldn't love as much as his/her sibling.

I was SO wrong!!!

I love DS2 jsut as much as DS1, and funnily, enough I love DD as much as I love her brothers!

Part of the reason I have a 4 year gap between DS1 & 2 is that DH and I were so besotted with DS1, and we felt it would be greedy want another child.

dilbertina · 27/06/2008 23:17

Yes. Love grows - it doesn't split.

And not only will you love no.2 more than you think possible, when you see no.1 developing a relationship with no.2 you'll love both of them even more!!

babyinarms · 27/06/2008 23:18

Yes yes yes...i adore Dd just as much as DS...I too worried about this but the love comes from somewhere!
I now think i could love a third just as much too...

slim22 · 27/06/2008 23:18

I felt exactly like you.
Now DD here and what a joy! But i'm still so in ove with DS.

DH also admitted that he had a new surge of love for DS after she was born as he realized he is growing up so quickly!

sleepycat · 27/06/2008 23:19

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Milkysallgone · 27/06/2008 23:28

Yes yes yes!!! I felt terribly guilty when pregnant with second dc. But there is no greater pleasure than seeing your 2 dcs together [mushy emoticon]. In retrospect I think I had a harder time bonding with my eldest. My theory is that you are more likely to have had a harder birth, plus the whole culture shock of becoming a parent; but as we all know -you do get there.

With ds though, I fell head over heels from the word go, and I think I'm just re-experiencing those various 'stages of love' I've had with dd along the way now.

dilbertina · 27/06/2008 23:32

So Cornflake girl, are you convinced yet?!!!

There may be valid reasons to stick at one child,,,,,,,,,,but this isn't one of them!

Original poster
cornflakegirl · 27/06/2008 23:33

Oh good! Thanks everyone!
(I blardy love this place )

OP posts:
teafortwo · 27/06/2008 23:38

Cornflake girl - I have always said I want to have just one child... but dd loves other children beyond what I imagined she would. I love her so much I would love to have another child for her to play with and have as a companion in further life. BUT what I would hate to do is bring a child into the world that we don't love as much and/or ends up being a right pain for me, dp, dd and spoils the blinding magic we have now! We are a triangle - strong with three points! I love just having one child but have these panicky moments when I feel this decision is not fair on dd! - Is this how you feel?

Niecie · 27/06/2008 23:41

Oh milksallgone - I love that bit. Waking up and hearing two people I made have a conversation and a relationship all of their own.

I found it easier to love DS2 too - it was instant and uncomplicated unlike first time when you have to deal with the whole first time mother angst. I knew all about the practical stuff so I could just enjoy getting to know him. I don't love him more than his big brother but he is a different person with his own endless supply of love and just as fascinating.

StressTeddy · 27/06/2008 23:43

All of my friends who have 2 seem to love their 2nd child more than their first......who would admit to this????? well done madaimess!!

Psychomum5 · 27/06/2008 23:44

oh god yes

and you third

and fourth

and fifth

you love them as much because of how much you love your first. truly

Bink · 27/06/2008 23:45

The most important thing is the sibling thing - as sleepycat mentioned first (I think?)

If you think you love your ds, just wait till you see what the baby thinks of him!

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2008 23:45

Well I would admit to it if it were true, but I honestly love mine unquantifiably massively and don't have a preference. Sorry and all that

teafortwo · 27/06/2008 23:46

aha aha aha - sorry - I am embarrased!!! I hadn't got your last message when I typed that!!! I think I am at base camp and you are reaching the summit on the feelings for a second child!!! Be well and good night!!!

colditz · 27/06/2008 23:46

you will, it's like you grow another heart or something.