Etiquette with 1st birthday party

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Our friends are holding their daughter’s first birthday at a soft play next month. Our DS will be almost one and the party, at 1-3pm, falls during his afternoon nap (cat nap at 1/2pm ish). When the party is for babies, what is the etiquette - can we arrive late or leave early depending on his nap, or do we need to hack it and face a messed up nap schedule/bedtime that day?

Missing a nap really isn't the end of the world. Baby parties aren't for the babies, but a photo opportunity for the parents. Every baby there will be grumpy, grouchy, covered in food, overwhelmed etc. Roll with it

Agreed. Don’t be so rigid about naps.

Although baby parties are pointless.

That’s a really odd choice of timing because I’m yet to meet a 1YO that doesn’t nap after lunch. Also odd choice of venue because at just turned 1 they’ll be unable to go on 90% of the soft play and will presumably be in the small (shit) baby area the whole time. If it were me I’d just say sorry we can’t make it 😬 Not like your kid will know it’s a birthday party and not like the birthday girl will have a clue either. But if you really wanted to go I’d put them down early in the pram, push them into the soft play asleep and they join in when they wake up.

I genuinely wasn’t sure if I was being too precious so thank you!

Some people are rigid on schedules for good reason. It works for them. Maybe pthey like having a non grouchy baby and sleeping at night. Missed naps can mess up both of those things.

In this situation though OP I would either accept the nap isn't going to happen or not go to the party. My decision would be based on how well the sleep was going otherwise tbh.

I had one child for whom a missed nap meant the rest of the day was hideous, overnight ruined and therefore the next day also a headache and one who was like a Duracell bunny, would just go go go till she dropped and all was well. So I appreciate any reluctance to mess with a schedule if you have a kid that thrives on routine!

Agreed. This is why most people confine themselves to cake in their own kitchen with immediate family and/or neighbours.

I thought it was odd too! Perhaps we’ll do a pram nap, or try and get him to sleep in the car there..then if he doesn’t oh well, at least we tried

I would have an early lunch, whack him in the car and make it an extra long drive there to make sure he sleeps in the car. Or leave a bit early if necessary if he gets overtired.