Would you leave a young teen alone to go on holiday?

[GoldenCookies]

Would you go away on holiday and leave a 14 year old home alone for a week (and a 12 year old) this happened to me as a teen and I also struggle to understand it, I wasn’t invited and turned down the opportunity it just wasn’t even a question of coming. My mum also had no family where we lived and I wasnt given any emergency details of friends etc, although could obviously call the police if needed. Was this wrong or just normal back then? (early 2000s) Anyone else’s parents do this? I now have a 14 year old and 12 year old myself and wouldnt even leave them alone overnight never mind a week in another country.

My parents left me behind for a 2 week holiday when I was 14, middle of the countryside with no neighbours fpr miles. I do think it was more normal back then.

Definitely wouldn't do it with my own kids, but I do think it's because we treat our kids like babies much longer.

Absolutely not. Even years ago that still was not ok

I wouldn't. My parents did regularly. However when I was 15 and doing my GCSEs they did have the sense to send me to live with a friend of a friend (theirs not mine) who lived nearer school so at least I would be able to get to my GCSE exams while they went on holiday to Australia/New Zealand for 2 months.

I think there is a difference between treating kids like babies and having zero emergency contacts at all. I probably would have felt differently if there was someone we could go and stay with if something happened.

I don’t think this was normal years ago to be honest, certainly not in the 2000s.

A night maybe, but absolutely not a week.

Definitely not normal, even then. And no.

And - it isn’t about treating them like babies. Most teens are physically able to manage at home for extended periods, but it is emotionally another matter.

No, not normal.

No I would not. How old are you OP? My mums early 50s and she and her sister as a child themselves used to take their neighbours babies out and about. Unheard of today so I imagine its large down to the time/era.

No. Sorry this happened

Agreed! I was a mother in the 2000s and there would be no way I would have left any of mine at that age to go on holiday, in fact I was born in the 70s where parenting was very lapse but even then my parents wouldn’t have left me to go on holiday.

Good lord no. Not normal. I was that age in the early 80s and can’t remember anyone doing this then either!

From 16 yes sure - several kids had left school at 16 and started jobs/apprentice etc and we were definitely treated as “young adults” at 16/17/18 - but never heard of 14/12 being left for a week.

I would judge then, and now.

Maybe back in the 70s, but even then I don’t think it would have been normal. Certainly not in the 2000s - it would have been highly likely to be considered child neglect under Children and Young Persons Act 1993.
However my MIL told me they would leave my DH, at age 5, in charge of his 3 year old brother and go out for the evening back in the early 1960s! She said ‘we didn’t know any better’! Now she was not a stupid woman and I just could not believe she thought it was acceptable (snd her husband as equally culpable).

I was born 1970 and my after school childcare arrangements would have social services called today, but my parents wouldn't have done that.

Even in the 1970s that wouldn’t have been normal, let alone early 2000s.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

No, in the 2000s, this was not normal!!

Not in any way shape or form!!

This happened to me when I was about 15 for a week and my mum was a very cautious parent! My granny lived over the road (literally, we could wave at each other from our windows) and I would go there for my dinner a few times after school but I chose to sleep/spend evenings otherwise at home. It didn’t seem a big deal to me at the time, I quite liked it as I was left £100 which was quite a lot back then and I got to go to the local pizza shop a good few times!

I’m not sure I would do it nowadays but I was a very sensible teenager, no danger of parties, drinking, any of that stuff. I just went to school, came home, watched TV or played the Sims(!) and went to bed.

But obviously if I wasn’t happy with it she wouldn’t have gone. And I think it makes a big difference having family literally seconds away.

That’s very different to the situation in the OP though.

I was left for the first time for two weeks aged 16. I had been invited on the holiday and chose not to go, but nevertheless I do remember being a bit lonely and anxious when the reality of my family going away hit me. And I had my grandparents nearby (my younger sister went on the holiday) and had my best friend stay over pretty much the full two weeks. As such I don’t think that it’s unreasonable that you found the experience at 14 (and in charge of a younger sibling) upsetting @GoldenCookies… especially as your children reach the age that you were. I went through some traumatic stuff as a teenager and as my daughters reach the ages that those things happened to me I have struggled. Talking to a professional has helped me and I recommend it if you can.

This was not normal in the early 2000s , I’m not sure when it would ever have been normal .

Im 37 now, me and my brother didnt get on either so I wasn’t looking after him as such he stayed in his room the majority of the week and I remember at one point he stole the keyboard for the family computer so I couldn’t use it!

Me and a friend used to do this when we were 12 in the mid seventies. We looked after her 6 month old cousin and took her to the park. We were responsible for changing her nappy (the old cloth ones) and giving her a bottle.

My parents never left me and my siblings overnight though.

I’m a similar age and was left alone for a weekend at approximately 16/17, with my sibling not being left in my care. I’d consider your mum’s actions neglectful.

Yes. Mine did regularly too. They also went out to ‘the club’ every Saturday night and left me in charge of my sister. We were both in primary school. I used to sit up til 3am until I saw them walking up the path. Then I’d pretend to be asleep. I was so afraid of robbers or fire…

I on the other hand was forced to live with neighbours for a week while my parents were away when I was 19 as my parents didn't trust me. I was totally trustworthy, more of a bookworm.