Would you take a full-time job despite parenting guilt?

[Thefrozenone]

Wasn’t sure where to post but it relates mostly to my concerns around parenting to felt it’s best here..

i have been offered a job that is nearly 20k above my current salary and a huge career progression. I am part time and always have been since DC was born, taking this job would mean full time and being away from DC more.

DC starts school in 2 years.

I need to afford a home for me and DC and this would be the perfect opportunity to do that but I still feel guilty about the time I will miss out on and DC potentially feeling disconnected from me.

would you say yes to the job or stay where you are and try again when DC is nearer to school?

I would say yes, absolutely! DC is 2, 2.5 ish? Absolutely fine in my book. Is the opportunity likely to come around again in two years time if you said no this time?

Of course I would
Plenty of children have working parents. They go to daycare. Then school. They form healthy attachments with their teachers and learn to socialize. Family time is leas but precious. You set them a good example. And you use your skills and brain.

No man would regret it. So why should a woman?
Take the job.

Yes. It sounds like the right decision to meet your financial needs, but also the more senior you are the more flexibility you are likely to have as your child gets older - and in some ways that is when they need you much more.

A good nursery is priceless.

Say no, 100%.

I did but then I dont do this guilt thing

Yes.

you won’t lose a connection.

they won’t even remember, but they will remember their awesome mum with the great job and that will inspire them.

Definitely take the job. DC will be fine with nursery or childcare and you will provide a good example of work and careers. I worked full time since dc were 6mo and they are now thriving as teenagers.

I feel no guilt whatsoever about providing for my family, no.

I chose to stay part-time through the primary years but it wasn't guilt that put me off ft hours, it was the fact that filling up all the nursey or school + wraparound hours with work means you have no time for yourself. I always liked having a bit of child-free time for hobbies and appointments during the week.

Nope. I'd wait.. Really glad I had that time with mine. When it's gone, it's gone

I would take it, have worked all the way through, have mid to late teens now who are very well adjusted, independent and happy!!

I personally wouldn't, unless I had to for financial reasons. They are only young for such a short period of time, whereas your career is long and you can progress and work full time when they are older. People on their death bed don't wish they had worked more, they wish they had spent more time with their family.

How many men would even ask this question
Go for it ,best of luck

Step up and provide for your family. Many other parents have no choice in the matter. It can be very beneficial for children to go to nursery, not to mention the benefits for the whole family to have a good salary coming in. In the future, your kid probably won’t even remember if Mummy was working FT or PT but they will sure as hell know about it if you have a crap pension and need financial support in your old age. Sometimes it make sense for a family but occasionally I see mothers working the bare minimum “for the good of the children” and it looks to me like sheer selfishness.

I wouldn’t unless I had no other choice. The guilt isn’t what drives me, but the desire to be a SAHM (I know I am lucky to be able to have made that choice).

from the way you write I assume you are a single parent, probably with some benefits.

Have you looked closely how your finances will work out with fewer benefits and more childcare costs?

Go for it

Try and negotiate some WFH

Absolutely, I did. No guilt, I was a single parent and we had a better life.

Thanks all for your responses. Didn’t think of it as in a man wouldn’t hesitate to accept!

@Tumbler2121 i am a single parent yes but currently not entitled to any benefits so increasing salary wouldn’t have much impact aside from paying more for nursery!