Child being exploited?

[Birdcatdog]

My 18 year old has announced she wants to move into her girlfriends family home. Apparently the mum is going travelling for 6 months and has offered my child to move in for £280 a month- not including food.
My child has just started their first job this week and the gf's mum knows it a decent wage -£27 grand.
I feel like the only person benefiting from this arrangement is the gf's mum and it feels like my child is being exploited. The mum would have to keep up the cost of her house whilst travelling as her own child will be living there. £280 is too much in my opinion? £50 a month would cover any costs but my child moving in wouldn't even be and additional person as the mum is leaving?
They live 10 minutes from our home and I have explained to my daughter that its a waste of money as she goes and stays at the gf's whenever she wants now. My child has specifically taken a year out to work and save for living cost when she goes to uni next year.
I feel like she is making bad financial decisions for no reason. She might not even know this girl in a year. They have only been together since February.
We dont have any strict rules at our house so I am confused on why she thinks she needs "independence". All of the things shes listed as independence such as shopping, cooking ect she could do at mine for free.
What am I going do to? Realistically I know I cant stop her. Im so sad

She's not being exploited.

She's being offered a house share for £280 a month, including her bills. I don't know of anywhere in the UK you could get that, and I live somewhere very cheap. It's up to her whether she wants to do this, or stay at home living off her mum.

Not sure why you should think someone else should let your adult, fully working DD live in their home for free?

I know this is the sensible option but im just so upset right now.

Exploitation!! I don’t think you know what that word means. Your adult child has been given the opportunity to live with their partner in a nice house for 6 months by themselves for £280 a month and they earn a decent salary. I would have bitten my arm off to get that amazing deal. She can still save a lot, they can have a go at playing happy families, and the mother has a bit of insurance money if they happen to wreck the place. This sounds like a great opportunity for your daughter. I was paying more than that 20yrs ago at uni!!

I did not say for free. I personally wouldn't charge her girlfriend if it was the other way around.

I get it, but presumably she would just come back home if anything bad happened, she won’t be homeless or in any danger.

In many ways I think it’s probably a really safe way for her to explore living away from home with a partner, as it’s financially very cheap and also she is very near to you and can come home if it doesn’t work out. Also presumably it’s a time-limited thing anyway.

I think if she’s already earning £27k at 18, £280 a month for her to gain some life experience of living out of the family home isn’t really financially ruinous or even very risky. There needs to be a balance at that age I think between saving and experiencing life, and this is just one of those experiences.

It may well go wrong but we’ve all had to go through this stuff as part of life, it’s how we learn and grow.

Ok i admit exploited is dramatic. I am just feeling emotional

Why are you so upset ? I admit my heart would sink if my 18 year old said he was moving out. But I’d wish him all the best and make it clear I’m still here for them and they have a home here. £280 is nothing for a person earning 27k a year. Where else are they going to rent for that. Exploitation? I don’t think so and she’s an adult not a child. TBH you come across like you could be a bit smothering not surprised she’s moving out.

I totally get that, at the same time that’s not in the best interest of either of them at this age.

You want to know what happens if they argue or break up? Well, presumably she moves back home!

I don't get what is such a big deal.

Presumably if she wasn't on a gap year she'd be off to Uni and living her own life anyway? I understand it's a bit traumatic when your "baby" leaves home and goes off do to do their thing, but it is the way of the world. We should be bringing them up to be independent of us. You are there if she needs you, so much better to be supportive and not fall out about it.

She’s not throwing any opportunities away! She’ll still have £1500 a month after board. She could easily save £1000 a month.

What happens if they argue or break up - she comes home obviously

Teens want independence. They don’t want to stay at home with mummy and daddy. They want to be out in the world making their own decisions.

280 a month is insanely cheap rent and your daughter is absolutely not being exploited.

of course she wants to live with her girlfriend.

don’t you remember being a teenager?

That’s probably the issue: challenging for you for her to move out. Just be there with open arms when she is ready to move back.

no judgement.
no commentary.

I don’t think the money is the issue really. I wouldn’t want my 18 year old living with a gf/bf. It’s very young to be living together.

Why won’t she just stay living at home and spend time with her gf without paying to live there? She can still stay over. It’s good to have time apart at that age.

Leaving to go to uni across the country i can accept and have always encouraged. Going 10 minutes down the road and wasting money to live in someone elses house is a hard pill to swallow

Also the situation is that there are TWO over 18 year olds living in the house. So the mum can kiss the council tax 25% discount for single occupancy goodbye. £260 a month won't do much more than cover this and the increased utility bills....

Sorry you are upset, but this is ideal in many ways since your chick is close to home but at the same time learning to live independently, at very minimal financial cost.

The reality is if she didnt have this opportunity she would spend a lot more than that per month on dates because 18 year old dont want to hang out at home with their partner and their parents (speaking from experience). It really is a good opportunity to see what its like in the real world providing for yourself, and she still has you 10 minutes away if she does need anything.

I dont know why she needs to move in together, she already stays over when she wants, maybe she has romanticised living together- playing house. I have explained that I left home at 18 to live with her dad and I ended up dropping out of education and having a baby at 19! We only were together until she was 2 and it took me years to get my life back on track.

What do you think happens at University though?

Yes and it was the worst decision I ever made to move out with her dad at 18. I dont want my daughter repeating my mistakes

It’s her money though and a very small price to live together with your GF

I would rather her spend that money going out doing things, going away and enriching her life with experiences than paying rent

The gf will be a student - won’t she keep the single person discount because of that?

So will she be told to leave when the woman comes back from travelling?

I agree with you. It’s for their own financial gain that she move into their house to cover the costs It’s absolutely not needed or necessary for your daughter and a large extra cost that she should be saving for uni costs, suggest she just stay home and the girlfriend stays at your house more often. She has free housing and food at home which is very nice of her parents so moving out this year makes no financial sense. I see why your annoyed.
Ask her if she’s taking her furniture and all belongings or putting them in storage so you can rent out her room to save money or turn into a gym/craft room ect see how that goes!