Constant brother punch ups

[Ilovedisney2011]

I’ve just had a lot of helpful replies to an AIBU thread about my sons’ behaviour.

They are 10 and 8, and I’m a teacher so used to being off with them all summer.

They have been fighting like cat and dog the last few weeks. I’ve never known anything like it, they’ve never been best friends but always gotten along well some of the time (I would say about 50/50) and especially on days out, holidays, they get on the best. This year their fighting has escalated beyond teasing and screeching to physical fighting, it’s so hard to deal with. We cannot have a car journey without them fighting even when one sits in the front. They cannot be left in a room together alone unless they’re on their devices (before anyone says remove the devices, we’ve just had 10 days abroad at a resort, completely screen free, including long flights. It did nothing. They only have 45 minutes each and my eldest uses that time to FaceTime friends and play together anyway).

My DH and I are looking at our own behaviour and trying to make some changes in how quickly we react to them. But it’s so hard to deal-escalate constant fights - DH is working again and I’m exhausted.

You need to make it crystal clear that physical violence will never be tolerated. Every single time. You know best what consequences will work best for your kids but every time one of them lays a hand on the other you need to come down like a ton of bricks or it will only get worse. I have two boys and never allowed them to be physical with each other, you get what you tolerate.

I had that ,mine were a year apart
Zero tolerance for violence
Not even play fighting allowed, because it escalated
But you have to mean it ,and separate them instantly anything starts
I had to have one of them with me all the time