Should I stay in the UK with my daughter for Year 7

[Falcon59]

Need some advice! We moved to Dubai last year with our 2 children my ds is into his 1st year of a levels a - so going into his second year, my dd will be starting yr7 in sep. after the war broke out we came home for a few months my dd was terrified as we all were. We had planned to go back after the summer hols but now my dd really doesn’t want to go back saying she is scared and doesn’t want to worry every day as things are still unstable etc. my son is going back to Dubai with my husband and will finish his last year of sixth form. I’m lucky in the fact we have a house still here in uk but I really don’t know what to do! Should I force dd to go back or do I stay here in uk and split family up for 9 months as that’s when we would have returned back to uk anyway. My head is battered wondering what to do and making the right choice.

Stay here with your daughter if you are coming back in 9 months anyway. Let her get settled into her new school.

Stay with your daughter; she has to know that her mother has her back and has heard her. I think her fears are somewhat justified, in the sense that Trump is a madman and the world is relying on cooler heads to prevail while he’s in the White House. Also, I think it’s important for you to support your daughter as she learns and navigates the world and does her own risk assessments.

I would have said ‘she needs to stay with the family’, but if you’re all moving back in 9 months then I’d stay with her in the uk. It’s really not that long and will fly by.

As you’re planning to move back in 9 months I’d stay.

your ds can finish his education where he started and you dd can start her education where she’ll finish.

Win win.

What I would do is make solid plans for spanning Xmas and new year together as a family.

Is she in a private school or state? Any boarding options? Flexi boarding.

I would stay with her in the uk however I’d look at flexi boarding as then gives you options to do some small 5/ 6 day trips to Dubai once a month etc to see your son. Only 6 weeks until Oct half term and 2 weeks off. It’s manageable for one year for you to stay in the UK.

yes she is in private school and will go back to her old friends she left last year. I she feel quite sad that the life we dreamt of is now over, although it is uncertain in the region Dubai is carrying on as normal and I’m just wondering if I’m being over cautious, as this might all fizzle out. Just a mess really, but I have to think of my dd and don’t want her worrying

I wouldn’t want her to only spend one year in a new school and then have to start another new school here. Let her start year 7 it’s a huge change for them.

I’m going to presume that in this period of being away you weren’t expecting to pay UK tax so if I’m wrong on that then apologies. Setting everything else aside there are huge tax implications which could ruin your finances forever. You’ve already made a decision which makes uni home status a question mark and limits where DS applies plus student finance very likely to be a non option. If you stay in the UK with your DD that means your DH has 2 ties (accommodation & dependent) it massively limits how much time he can spend in the UK without being classed as UK resident for tax purposes. There’s lots to all this and really is individual specific with exact dates leaving and returning to the UK, amount of time spent in the UK during that time. Either read everything there is on gov.uk about tax residency or get in touch with a tax accountant with expat experience. Don’t sleepwalk into owing HMRC tax for all the time DH was working abroad because you never really qualified as being non UK resident for tax purposes.

Even taking the war out of the equation it would be better for her to stay put at her UK school than be moved elsewhere for 9 months only to then move back. Y7 can be a hard time for friendships and if she’s settled and happy I wouldn’t want to mess with that by dragging her back and forth. 9 months is also nothing to live separately especially when the kids will presumably have (going off typical private school hols) 2 weeks off in October, a month at Christmas and Easter, a week in February and a week in May. Cumulatively that’s 3 of your 9 months so really it’s only 6 months separated and it’s not even all at once. If her school has any boarding provision you could also potentially take advantage of that.

Absolutely stay so she can start school with her class and build a life here where she’ll do secondary school. Surely it’s a no brainer?

Please stay with her. Don’t uproot her in year 8 when she will be one of very few new kids.

I guess your work allows you to work either in the UK or Dubai.

If you're moving back in a few months stay here. It would be hugely unfair on her.

On the other hand you could pay tax and put your child first.