Do you play with your toddler all day?

[Playtime14]

I’m a single parent with one 3 year old. On the days I’m not working I spend all the time I’m at home playing with my toddler. She doesn’t like playing on her own and I feel so guilty leaving her to do housework or other jobs.

My house is such a mess at the minute, I try and do my housework on an evening but it’s so hard keeping on top of everything in the couple of hours I have when my DD is in bed.

Is this normal? How do other parents manage? Do you do housework at the same time as childcare or save everything for an evening?

On days I was home with a 3yo I did housework in the day. I'd play for a bit and then leave them to it or join in alongside jobs e.g. they would make playdough food whilst I hung up the washing and I'd pause periodically to 'eat' it. Sometimes they would 'help' with chores e.g. hanging up washing.

Evenings were for things that needed concentration e.g. tasks on the computer, clearing the kitchen from dinner and resting.

My son just turned 4 and I have him with me on monday and friday. I tend to take him out for part of the day for some quality time together but once home I expect him to play independently for at least some of the time so I can do things like emptying the dishwasher, hanging out washing, tidying the kitchen, hoovering, preparing meals etc. I usually just do bits here and there so he isn't feeling ignored or I'll multitask while he does something at the kitchen table like playdough. Independent play is a skill so it's worth building up how long they can manage it for.

I also try to get as much done while my sons awake like tidying up after dinner, dishes, tidying toys etc before putting him to bed so I come back down to a tidy house. I do try to do jobs involving chemicals when he's not around though.

No i didn’t, yes it’s important to interact with dc but you need to get on with essential tasks so you settle them down with an activity and do what you need to do or include them “helping” which means it takes 3 times as long but it still can be good to pass the time. At 3 there will be tasks it’s not possible to do with them close by because of danger but apart from these just crack on

Get your child to "help" with the housework.
That might mean them just flapping a duster around or handing you pegs but it involves them in doing it.

No, I don't play with mine all day. I have my 4yo and 1yo with me on a Friday. We do nice outings or activities or playdates, but I also do the weekly shop, some laundry, odd jobs etc. Even when I'm not necessarily doing jobs I might not be actively playing with them. Also they aren't always playing with/entertaining each other, my 1yo is still a bit small and just messes up his brother's games. Often one is in the playpen and one is on the sofa doing something different, and I'm having a cup of tea and minding my own business for a while.

Yes because you'll never get that time back, you're laying the best possible foundations. But also - I made house jobs into games and got them to help (was very slow going).

Get them to "help" with safe easy tasks, maybe a child's kitchen set they clean while you do the kitchen. Obviously I mean, safe, supervised things!

Agree with everyone else.

You 'engage' them, but it will include doing things that need to be done, with them "helping" you, or doing something close to where you are working. You don't literally stop doing what needs to be done to play 'their games' with them.

Currently at home with DS (2 years old) for 6 weeks as I'm between jobs. No, I don't play with him all day long. His nap time and evening time are for relaxing. I do all chores around him. He plays with stickers, cars, whatever. Some days are easier than others.

One crucial thing is to go out straight after breakfast.

We do 2 hours out in the park every morning so he gets that energy out of him.

We do another kick around with a ball in the afternoon to get some of that energy out before bedtime.

The couppe of times when I didn't take him out as above were way more difficult, he was very clingy as he had loads of energy and didn't know what to do with it.

No. I find playing with toddlers (or any children) really dull to be honest. I don’t mind a book, puzzle, board game. But never ending role play I detest (and my daughter loves). She now knows this and so will be selective on what games she asks me to play. ‘Mummy can we play hospitals? You can just lie on the sofa and I’ll be the doctor.’ Perfect.

Most of the time when we are at home I’m doing jobs or chilling out. My children are both pretty good at entertaining themselves though I’ll acknowledge the tv is on more than it should be.

Term time I have 2 days with my toddler. We always go out for a couple hours in the morning (to a group or to the park or to meet a friend) then home for lunch and nap, then it’s school pick up time. So not much time for me to sit around playing with him.

No, learning to play independently and being bored are vital for development. Playing with her is great of course, but it's equally important to ensure she has a chance to develop other skills.

I don’t play with my child all day. We go out of the house a lot on my day off/weekends but have time in the house too. I will play a bit but they also know that I have to tidy up, hoover, hang out washing etc. They ‘help’ if they’re feeling like they want to be around me, but also they’re left to make a railway, play cars, or watch TV! Independent play is important, and so is having a nice environment to live in.

Housework is play for my 4 and 1 year old. They are obsessed with putting on washings / emptying dishwashers / helping me in the kitchen / hanging up clothes. Hands me twice as long but I love their company so I don’t mind. My 4 year old sometimes loses interest and he’ll go to the playroom and amuse himself. The only time I don’t do housework is during my 1year olds nap as I dedicate that time completely to my oldest and we do puzzles, building etc (thing the 1 year old would just destroy 😅). I’m not a single parent (and absolutely not comparing myself to one) but my husband world 13hr days and when they kids are in bed I either catch up on work or relax so I make sure all my housework is done with them.
I do have a fortnightly cleaner as well

You’re not doing your child any favours by being their play mate constantly. They need to learn that skill and be independent. Set them up with an activity like some building blocks or colouring book and pens, and leave them with a task to do. You go off and put a load of washing on. If they find to you, take them back to the activity and show them what they should be doing, instruct them to do the activity themselves with lots of positive encouragement “you can do it” and leave them again. Show them what you want to do “draw me a tree”. Take them back to the activity but maybe just once. Then play with them. The next day repeat that, and maybe leave them a bit longer playing by themselves. Give them a doll or car or other toy and say “pretend this”. Give them ideas for play. Children need to learn independent play. It’s really good for their imagination and confidence. They might not like it initially but will get used to it. Just leave then to okay independently for a short time period, but longer as they get older. You should be able to fill the dishwasher or do a job or two. Or have a sit down and a cuppa for five minutes!

Yes you need to play with them and do things with them like take them to the park. Yes you need to get them to “help” put clothes away or help dust etc. But not playing with them all day. That would have driven me mad plus stretched my imagination too much!