2 or 3 school years (age gap)?

[Hann376]

I know this is subjective but can anyone share whether a 2 or 3 school gap between siblings is better in terms of them getting on better / being less competitive?

our toddler is 2 in the autumn so will be oldest in school year and we wanted a second with around a 3 year gap but wondering whether it is worth making sure that it’s actually 3 school years which would mean waiting a few extra months to start trying?

also thinking far ahead about the costs of having 2 in uni at the same time if both children wanted to go!

School wise they won't be competitive with a two or three year gap, it's much too big. Three is more of a pain for school runs though if they need to go to different places.

Thanks hadn’t thought of the school run. I was thinking if they were closer in school years they would feel closer in age in terms of maturity so then might be more competitive

In practice it makes no difference having experienced both with my sibling and my children. The bigger issue of competitiveness is whether they are the same sex or not.

the only time it is sort of relevant is whether you want GCSE’s and a-levels at the same time or not.

I have a 2 school year age gap with mine, both boys. If I were to do it again, I would have a 1 school year age gap to be honest

i honestly don’t think the age gap will make a difference to them getting on better. I’ve seen multiple different age gaps through friends and they all have their moments. Although I do agree with the other post that I think it’s determined more on if they are both boys, girls or one of each. Mine play lots together so understandably argue more because of that. Love having two the same though

I don’t think it makes any difference really. Mine have 5 years between them and they still fight! I don’t know any siblings who don’t fight. I think the most important thing would be how it impacts you financially. We had 5 years between ours so that eldest was out of nursery by the time I started mat leave, so we weren’t paying for childcare for 2. We also used that time to progress our careers so we were earning a lot more. That made life a lot easier the second time around.

I don't think it is an indicator of how competitive they will be.

My older 2 are 3 school years apart and were very, very competitive throughout school. My nephews are one school year apart and have never been competitive - they are really close and supportive of one another.

The only thing you can predict is 2 school years apart means they will be doing GCSEs and A levels in the same year, and, if they both go to University you will be paying out for two of them at the same time for at least one year.

Of course, all sorts of things can change over the next 20 years so that might not be an issue at the time.

I have one DD 17, 18 in October and another DD 14, 15 in January. School years they are 3 years apart. They get on amazingly and enjoy each others company, but I think any further apart that wouldn’t have happened. I know shortly my eldest will enter adulthood, but she’s constantly talking about her sister “catching her up”, and what they will do together when she’s “old enough”. Obviously I think it helps they are both girls, I’m not sure if this dynamic would be the same had they been boy/girl.

I do think the school runs are important to factor in. Eldest is at college now, and the school run for the youngest has grated on me since the eldest left. It was ok when taking both of them, but just the one makes it more of an effort