How can I make trips out with a toddler easier?

[BastetBaby]

How can I make leaving the house with a toddler easier?

Everyday I think: "OK, today we will go out"
Then it gets to mid morning and I can't face it. It's just so exhausting!

There's so much to carry! My toddler refuses the pram so I end up having to carry her, all the gear and a potty. It's about 20kg! And it's not like it's well distributed weight either. It's doing my back in.

The process of getting ready to go out exhausts me, so by the time we go out the door I'm already completely drained.

Playing in the playground/museum/whatever feels like as much work as playing at home, except now it's harder for me to have a snack or go to the toilet.

I know I need to take my DD out because it's hugely beneficial for her, but there are only downsides for me...

How can I make trips out more rewarding, or at least easier, for me?

(Extra context: DD is 2.5; she is generally a very chill toddler but demands a lot of attention - imaginative play is by far her favourite thing to do; I look after her every day as she's not in nursery.)

I don’t have much useful advice to offer making re making things easier, but I just wanted to offer a bit of a handhold regarding not wanting to be constantly out and about— I’ve noticed since having my children that there’s so much talk of playgrounds, playgroups, parks, etc etc that as a natural homebody myself I’m exhausted before even factoring in the toddlers! We mostly save exciting days out (museums, zoos, play centres) for weekends with my DH and enjoy our time at home during the week. My little ones are imaginative players too and we have just as much fun doing arts and crafts, baking, puzzles and stories etc as we would running around a park. I think it’s okay to do what feels natural and know that soon, when they’re a little older, it’ll be as simple as jumping in the car and going.

What is "all the gear"? Basics would be water, snack, raincoat if needed. If they are currently potty training I'd wait till they are more reliable on that... no need to take a potty, just go somewhere with toilets. Eg museum, library.

If they don't walk far then start small and try to increase distance/ stamina. Eg could you start with just a regular short walk from your home... any green space to visit, or if not just a walk round the block.

Do they have a balance bike or scooter they could use (note that these don't immediately solve the issue if that aren't used to them, it will take them time to get used to it and build up stamina).

Even if she won't go in the pram, I'd take it anyway to push the bags and potty in (underneath). Is it a good lightweight one that's easy to steer with one hand, and easy to get up curbs? Then you're not carrying anything (except her!)

Mine was a Maclaren, many years ago, and that was great.

You might be able to get her in it now and then, which makes everything easier.

Sorry i should also add I think there is a difficult period transitioning between pram and walking where everything becomes more difficult as they can't go so far and need more help, hence my suggestions! Before you know it, things will start to become easier again

Firstly, re-evaluate what 'gear' you're bringing because that is far too much! Streamline your baby bag! Keep that bag always packed so it's ready to grab when you want to go out.

If you're going somewhere buggy accessible, like the playground, take the buggy anyway to store all the stuff.

If she isn't at nursery and loves imaginary play then you want to prioritise places where she can meet other children like playgroups/activity classes over places like museums. Museums are a very worthy day out, but only if the child actually enjoys them and not all kids do. Focus on building her a little friendship group. The other benefit to these sort of places is they're setup for toddler so you can get a cup of tea/have a sit down a bit easier than you can somewhere like a museum.

My buggy refuser didn't get a choice! When DS was that age I was pregnant with DD and had enough problem with my back without also trying to carry him, so I always brought the buggy and he could walk or get in it but was not being carried. He was actually pretty sensible at walking holding onto the buggy, but I could push it one handed and hold his hand if needed. Buggy is also handy to put all the stuff in, although I never took a potty, just used toilets where ever we went (you might have to hold her on if they don't have a child seat but it's very doable).

I take the buggy out and use it as a wagon. This summer it has carried:
Picnic mat
Mini cool box with our lunch/drinks
Couple of nappies for nap time
Wipes
Sun cream
Travel potty
Change of clothes for DC
Swimming stuff for the pool/splash pad
Something for me to read during naptime.

I'd go crazy if we didn't get out of the house (as would he).

If he refuses the buggy he gets held down until I've strapped him in. He can stop walking and have cuddles but I never carry him more than a few yards.

Oh - it helps to have somewhere /something booked, I find. Even if it's just an arrangement to meet up with people.

What's nearby to where you live??

Just go there.

The museums are usually child-focused ones. There's one we go to a lot that has a great toddler play area.

I do go to playgroups for her sake, but I personally hate them. (I think I am probably autistic so I find the noise and small talk utterly awful.)

Go early, first thing. Pack the pushchair the night before. Add snacks and water in the morning.

Get dressed, leave.

When she gets tired, say 'pushchair or walk'.

Pushchair or push a long trike thing and she either walks or sits in it , it’s non negotiable. Book her into a playgroup / pre school from Sept at least a few mornings a week and not one where you need to stay .

Your daughter sounds exactly like mine!! Also LOVES imaginative play, doesn't like walking or the pram and is generally quite chill at 2.5! Like yours she doesn't go to nursery either.

I make a point of getting us out the house every morning or we get cabin fever. As others have said pack the bag night before: change of clothes, water bottle, snacks, wipes, a sticker book. Use the pram as a wagon to carry things. Clip travel potty to the pram using one of those big hooks.

No need to reinvent the wheel outings-wise either. We usually go to a cafe and people watch/chat together. Sometimes I bring little figures we can imaginative play with for a bit. She has her snack. Then we do some kind of activity like swimming lesson, gym club, local paddling pool when hot. Then home for naptime! If we are doing something more adventurous I will take the car, and ideally wait until I can get help from my DM or DH at the weekend.

I've discovered that depending on the pushchair, you can put a scooter over the handlebars comfortably. So you can set out with her on the scooter, then if she gets tired, place it on the pushchair and sit her in.

I agree with the others about being firm on not carrying her (though you'll have to pick her up when crossing busy roads of course),

Good tips though - re-evaluation incoming...

I like the little figures idea! I will try that

Yes... That is true. Then you have to go!

Mine preferred one of the push a long trikes at this age. It was the easiest way to get out for decent walk (and they couldn't sleep in it - bonus for me)

Is she potty trained? Places have toilets, ditch the potty. I had a little seat that folded up to go over a normal loo that I kept in my rucksack when they were little though DD2 was mostly just held on the toilet!

Otherwise I'd take pack of wet wipes, change of clothes in a packing cube, snack, hand sanitizer, water bottle and 1 little toy or small book. All fits in a rucksack with space for my keys, phone etc. I always found getting out straight away helped - if you keep leaving it, it gets harder to get out the door so I'd be at the park at 9.15!

We’re the opposite; we’re barely spend time at home. What gear do you need?? If toilet trained then dont take the potty. Take a change of clothes; water bottle; snacks, suncream and hat. Cant see what else you’d need? Mine doesn’t like buggy but there’s no alternative. Or try a Scooter or trike. It’s so dull at home. I just did a weekend in London just me and my 2 year old; so fun! 1 backpack and 1 bag under the buggy, sorted.

I mean gear is not a lot... Packed lunch, water, baby wipes, spare clothes, sun cream... It all fits in a rucksack, but it still feels heavy.

A foldable toilet seat sounds ideal...

I have a 2.5 year old and simply take a rucksack with a change of clothes, wipes, snacks and a drink. For context I have 4 others so it’s not always just him and the easiest thing to do is simply get out early. I think your big issue is actually that she’s an only one and so is demanding all of your attention (which is extremely draining). I would suggest trying specific toddler activities groups (dancing, football etc.) so that she makes friends with other kids and starts to learn that instead of always demanding your attention she has peers. I take my 2.5 year old to football every week and it has an attached soft play, it wasn’t immediate but he has steadily befriended the other kids and I get to sit down whilst he plays with them on the soft play. I really do think the key for you is taking her places she will play with other kids instead of wanting you to be her playmate.

My backpack was the same at that age as it is now except for a folding toilet seat. It folded up absolutely tiny and into its own pouch and I used it for about 6 months until my son was comfortable just going on any toilet seat.

Otherwise I carried then, and still carry now (age 5):

-a travel sized pack of water wipes
-one full change of clothes (not because of toileting accidents, but because we’re quite outdoorsy and he can end up wet or mucky)
-a bottle of water each
-small hand sanitiser
-a snack box with a sandwich and some fruit
-suncream, small insect repellent spray, and hat in the summer
-a very lightweight pair of waterproof trousers in the wetter weather

That’s it. I can’t think what more we would need. Sometimes I put a colouring/sticker book in if we’re going to a restaurant or cafe.

Another saying take the buggy.

Take minimal stuff. Change of clothes, lunchbox and water bottle.

Chick potty underneath if you really need it but shouldn’t if it’s a short trip and there’s toilets where you are going.

Sje doesn’t need to sit in the buggy. She can walk.

Id she tired its buggy or walk.