This probably sounds a bit pathetic, but it’s genuinely starting to get me down and making me wonder if there’s something about me that puts people off
My son is 4 and at nursery drop-offs/pick-ups, parties, soft play etc I always try to be friendly. I smile, say hello and try to make conversation, but it never really seems to go beyond that. Meanwhile I see other mums naturally chatting, swapping numbers, arranging playdates etc and I always seem to be on the outside of it.
I'm quite sociable once I get talking to someone and I don't think I come across as unfriendly. I've even started overthinking whether it's how I look! I'm not confident by any stretch, but probably 90% of the time I make an effort to look quite put together, and I've genuinely wondered whether that somehow makes me seem unapproachable or whether people make assumptions about me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but you do start picking yourself apart.
The thing that worries me most is whether it could eventually put my son at a disadvantage. At this age parents are the ones arranging parties and playdates, and I have this horrible lingering fear that if I'm not part of the parent groups, could he end up being left out too?
Thankfully I do already know a couple of mums whose children are starting at the same school as him in September and I've made a conscious effort to engage in the newly created WhatsApp group and get involved. So it's not like I'm going into the school completely knowing nobody. But I still can't quite shake the worry.
I know the obvious answer is to initiate conversations myself, and I do try, but when you feel like you're always the one making the effort and nobody particularly wants to carry the conversation on, you eventually start feeling a bit embarrassed about trying.
Has anyone else felt like this? Did things change once your child started school? And, probably most importantly, did not being part of the mum friendship groups ever actually affect your child's friendships, party invitations or playdates?