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Parenting

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child’s father ignoring my concerns

1 reply

Wiggles2894 · 04/08/2026 22:18

Hi everyone,
I’m just looking for some balanced opinions on my situation.
My son’s dad currently has indirect contact only following family court proceedings. The order allows indirect contact and requires me to send monthly updates through our parenting app. It doesn’t say anything about photos.
I’ve always had concerns about him having access to photos due to the people he has on his social media if he was to share them. However, because I wanted to be child-focused and didn’t want to create unnecessary conflict, I agreed to leave him on the app so he could see nursery photos, but I made it clear that, for our son’s safety, I would appreciate it if they did not go any further.
Unfortunately, I’ve now been made aware that he posted one of those nursery photos publicly on social media with our son’s school badge clearly visible. A colleague of mine, who doesn’t even know him, recognised my son from the photo and sent it to me. That really worried me because it showed just how easily he could be identified.
I messaged him about it, explaining that I wasn’t happy and asking him to be more careful. Instead of acknowledging my concerns, he became angry and told me he would “see me back at court.”
Since then, I have spoken to the nursery and asked for him to be removed from the nursery app. I have also told him that I will no longer be sending any photos myself. I will, of course, continue to comply fully with the court order by sending the required monthly updates through the parenting app, but I no longer feel it is in my son’s best interests for additional photos to be shared, especially i am aware he has several people on his snapchat who he gets his drugs off so again, that is not people who i feel safe with my sons school being shown to, which i thought he would have had the common sense to see the same but clearly not.
Do you think my concerns are reasonable, or would you have dealt with it differently? I’m genuinely interested in hearing other perspectives.
TIA

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/08/2026 22:22

Had to say without knowing why you think it’s dangerous for the pictures to be shared. But removing photo permission from nursery is the easiest way to resolve this so you’ve done the right thing there. Messaging him directly was probably quite foolish given the arrangements in the court order. I wouldn’t contact him directly going forwards.

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