Return to work dilemmas - law / 3 days / pay

[FluentFinch]

Hoping someone will have some wisdom here …

im due to go back to work in October as a lawyer and I wanted to use annual leave days to work a 3 day week for a bit. My dream is to work 3 days a week as I just want the time with my baby. My firm said no so I’d have to go back 4 days a week - currently not sleeping at night at the prospect as I just feel 4 days is too much. DH has suggested we could WFH on the fourth day and he take the afternoon off etc to help it.

my firm don’t like me and I went on mat leave with bad reviews however the pay is amazing. I’m wondering whether I go back and get another mat leave out of them (I want a 2.5 year age gap). However I’ve been told once I’m a senior associate it will be impossible for me to move to another law firm.

the last month I’ve interviewed for two firms (so hard without childcare !) and got almost two offers

• first one, 4 days, same hours, 25% pay cut
• second one, potential 3 days for 3-6 months, lower hours, 35% ish pay cut

the second one requires a written test I haven’t been able to do due to lack of childcare so I’ve semi pulled out and don’t know if I’m being an idiot

I suppose two things

• terrified of how little I’ll see my baby on 4 day week, how burnt out I’ll be
• alternatives don’t give great short term pay options. We live in London and life is getting more expensive

it’s been about a month of me agonising over this every day so grateful for any clarity

It's actually easier to work more now than when they are older. You are largely replaceable. Get a good nanny, go back to work, hit the ground running. I credit my amazing nanny for being able to continue my career.

Raising a child is not just about cuddles and trips to the park. They need a roof over their head, teenage years are expensive, and uni is ridiculously expensive.

I'm not saying you necessarily need to stay where you are if they already don't like you.

But take a job you will do well in. If you build up good reviews, you also get a lot more flexibility. If you're constantly doing the bare minimum, someone will always be watching you.

I'm also a solicitor in London and the early years were hard but it has paid off. Seniority comes with control over my schedule. Money buys me time as I can pay for quality help. I can be there for my kids every day and work around it. No one bats an eye lid at me going mid morning for a school meeting, or the endless December early afternoons for school events. Performance is key. You do the work, no one cares about the details.

And be careful re any 4 day week offer. You will get the same workload, but paid less and will be used as an excuse to not promote you. Everyone I know who has tried the 4 day week has regretted it.