Does anyone else feel sad as their children get older?

[Thefrozenone]

Does anyone else struggle with their kids getting older?

my LO is 3 and I feel it’s gone very quick, I’ve not always enjoyed parts of it due to solo parenting. I feel I’m finally enjoying it properly, I love play time and days out together etc, I cherish our time, but with that I have a lot of sadness and guilt that I didn’t enjoy the first couple of years, and watching LO get older is bittersweet for me - I find it hard that it’s all going so quick but also think there’s so much more good to come just in a different way.

mums with older DC’s, do you ever get over this feeling? Social media doesn’t help - makes me much more emotional about it all.

I have phases of this. For me it's typically triggered when they change and start a new phase and I realise just how much they've grown. Time just goes so quickly!

I feel the same sadness about older members of my family aging too. Not to the extent that it stops me from enjoying the present or looking forward to the future, it's usually fleeting and a good reminder not to get wrapped up in things that don't really matter and to enjoy life.

My DD is 38 and DS 29. All through the years I've never wished they were babies/ tiny children again. I've enjoyed every minute of them growing up and becoming the amazing adults they are now.

OP, what is your relationship like with your parents? I also remind myself in those sad moments, that my parents haven't 'lost' me now I'm an adult. Sure, I've built my own life and family, but we have a nice relationship and genuinely enjoy each other's company. It's no less than it was, just different.

I have loved every stage of my childrens development for different reasons, but each stage has had its drawbacks too.
I do find myself looking at photos or videos of babies and feeling the heart strings twang, but then i love seeing the new challenges my teens take on and how they navigate them and they do still come to me for comfort (words or hugs) and support which i love.
I dont love having to constantly feed their constant hunger and miss being able to batch cook something and know i will get several dinners out of it, i would need catering pans for that these days.

Mine are 13 and 16 and I feel massively envious that you are only just at the start of what I found to be the most enjoyable years when they were at primary school. I actually found the baby and toddler years a bit of a slog. By primary they were fun, travelled more easily and enjoyed things so much it made the work worthwhile. I get a pang of sadness for those years every now and then because they flew by but I am not unhappy with the teenage years. Actually, my two are mostly a joy to spend time with (bar the odd teenage grump induced by lack of sleep or food) and I am relieved they can be left home alone at times, take themselves out, feed themselves etc because now I can have some time back for me too. I dread the day they leave or if of them decides to move to Australia but I am building my career back up and working on my health and fitness so that hopefully I will be able to visit them regularly wherever they go and the distance won't feel too far. Also working on hobbies and ambitions for myself so I don't dwell too much on my empty nest.

I do in the sense my youngest is too disabled to leave home and be independent and like any other 19 yr old just wants to have some sort of a life outside of his mother. When they're little it's easier.

Yep, mine turns 10 on Saturday 😭 i
miss the baby and toddler years.

I loved the toddler years but my favourite years were age 5-12. So much fun to be had OP, and teens are wonderful and funny too. You just evolve with it too. Don’t be sad!

I loved the toddler years but my favourite years were age 5-12. So much fun to be had OP, and teens are wonderful and funny too. You just evolve with it too. Don’t be sad!

You feel so many emotions at different stages but 3 is still so young and you have so much to look forward to.

The hardest stage for me were the teenage years when they started to pull away in increments. But if you have a good foundation of a relationship with them, they very much still want to be with you. I did not expect my eldest son to leave home at 18 but he did and I cried for 3 days (which he will never know about). He has made a brilliant life and career for himself.

My children are 19 and 21 and they make me laugh so much, in act, I would say they bring me even more pride and joy than they did when they were little. Or at least equal amounts!

Yes I’ve felt that. My eldest has left home and is 28 and my youngest was a latecomer who I had at 42. I thoroughly enjoyed being a mum again, despite the challenges he’s brought as he has autism. He definitely kept me young and fit! He’s 15 now and the years have gone so fast and it makes me sad! I am very proud of both of them though ❤️

I thought you were going to say they were late teens about to move out or something. You’ve got years ahead to enjoy. Mine are 13 and 16 and I’m starting to feel that way a bit now as they grow more and more independent. Like you I’m a lone parent so I wonder how the future looks when they have been my main focus for so long.

I haven’t yet. Mine are teens now and I just love watching them grow and change. My job was to raise them to independence and they’re both in track. They’re mind, interesting, funny, bright people and I’m looking forward to seeing what they do. I am building my own hobbies and life back up as they get older so I’m not worried about when they leave home as I will have stuff to do and can just enjoy watching them live life.

I feel a sense of pride in a job well done, not a sadness at what has gone.

Doesn’t end…… I’m sad my gc are growing up fast and miss the baby days when they’d shout nana and grandad as we got to the door. Now they just about say hi and give me a perfunctory hug as they tear themselves away from Switch!

No...the older mine got the better he got - I absolutely loved the teenage years! He's now 20 and we're very close, still go out for long walks together when he's home from uni, and I love the independent adult that he's become. I don't miss the baby years at all, they were deathly boring to me.

Nope. For me, every new stage has been better than the last. It's exciting watching DD grow and find out what she loves and who she wants to be.

She's off to uni in September, and while DP will miss her terribly, I'm so excited for her. She's so passionate about what she wants to do and where she's going. Don't get me wrong, the years when she was little were fun, but I've enjoyed the teenage years so much more.

Out of curiosity, has she been better as a threenager? :)

This is lovely to read!

Absolutely not. Each age has its wonders. And the upside is that they grow up and give you grandkids and you can get to do it all again.

Yes, it goes so quickly 😢 mine are all adults now and I love the men they have become - but I do miss the little boys they once were, their chubby little hands reaching for mine and just mum being the centre of their world! I know I'm lucky that they live nearby and we see a lot of them but I don't really feel needed any more 😏

Mixed feelings for me. On the one hand, I am happy that my DC are healthy adults and I love the grown up relationship I have with them now. I would never wish anything else. I don't feel sad as such, but a bit nostalgic from time to time.

I miss their little selves. The ridiculously funny things that they said or did. Them thinking I was an all powerful being who could fix everything. Their littleness and being able to scoop them up in my arms. The snuggles, handholds and sweet sticky, affection.

I definitely do not miss the toddler tantrums, the clingy phases, the fussy food phases, the barfing in the middle of the night, the broken sleep, the homework battles, the truculent teenage moments etc.

I feel a bit like this at the moment about my 11 year old. He's just the best at the moment. Lovely company, funny, interesting, happy (just about!) to hang out with me at the theatre or a gallery or whatever. We just had a holiday the two of us and it was so cool, we're very compatible right now. (I am aware that this is weird for a woman in her 40s and yes I do struggle with adult friendships a bit)

I am sure he'll also be a fab teen and adult but I know I'll miss the last few years where we really had some adventures.

No, DS is 14 and I'm really enjoying it.

Yes. I often think that I would love to live my life on a loop from a couple of weeks pre-birth to dd at 10.

She is 14 now and gorgeous, even as a teen. But I do miss the younger her. I try to keep it to myself as much as I can.

Also she is an only through infertility. Maybe this makes it harder.

Also she is an only through infertility. Maybe this makes it harder

Same, I wonder the same.