When did your DC stop being fussy eaters and start eating like normal human beings?

[TheRozzers]

Oldest DD is 11 and would happily live on chicken nuggets and pizza if we let her.

Younger DC seems to be following suit.

We rarely eat as a family as they flat out refuse normal food (by normal I mean anything containing onions, garlic, cooked vegetables or a sauce of any kind).

They will happily eat toddler food - plain pasta, grated cheese, raw carrot, cucumber sticks.

Please tell me they will grow out of it?

Uni hasn't made a bit of difference for our DC, the catered accommodation food is pretty standard stuff, but he hasn't gone hungry.
My DF has actually had a positive influence on DCs diet. An ex teacher, he has a way with young people and has definitely helped. BBQed food and seafood such as muscles and squid/ calamari, for example.
It's worth working out a positive influence close by and see if that might help.

I was in my twenties before I had a somewhat normal diet! Some people would still say im fussy, but im so much better than I was as a child! I ate about 5 different foods.

It’s incredibly rude to reject food that someone has made for you.

It's incredibly controlling to think like this. People including children have autonomy over what they put in their mouths.

Define poor choices of food and mealtimes.

I’m an adult and I’d still reject certain foods.

Personally I would let them scream and cry for an evening if that’s what it takes to make them understand that you mean business.
A few dislikes are fine, refusing to eat anything except beige food is not.

Diagnosed ARFID would be an exception ofc.

I feel huge sympathy for parents whose children eat a very limited diet, it can be so stressful and worrying. My friend's son (14) who was diagnosed with AFRID two years ago was found to be lacking in various vitamins and minerals so he now has to take supplements (and that was a battle at first too), plus he's slightly overweight as he doesn't eat the right types of food (v. carb-heavy diet). It's so worrying. Like many other families, it's just him who struggles with food, his sibling eats anything.

I’ve got one the same but DC won’t eat chicken, doesn’t like meat or fish. Meal times are a nightmare, trying to get decent nutritional balance v hard. One persons famine is another’s feast I guess, I’d be so grateful if I could get her to enjoy a chicken wrap or nugget! 😭

(Won’t touch veggie meat-free options either so can’t swap meat for meat free alternatives)

I remember crying (joy, relief , fuck knows) when DD first ate fish fingers and then chicken nuggets. She likes chicken in all forms now , but it’s been a long slog.

Another weird thing is my older DD is a really good cook. I try to get her involved in the cooking so she will try more things and she will make me and DP a delicious meal but won’t touch it herself. She makes a really banging vegetable quiche! But will only eat the new potatoes on the side.

They both used to be good with vegetables and we have them with every meal but they will not touch them without bribery.

They will reluctantly eat brocolli or peas if they get an ice cream afterwards.

It’s encouraging that some of your DC changed their ways in the teenage years. That gives me hope!

My youngest has always been a difficult eater, constant gagging, having issues with textures, only eating certain foods in certain orders, not eating fruit, every meal taking an hour, would have lived off beige very happily if i had allowed...possibly still would...but at least now recognises the need for healthier food. I have persevered and cajoled and waited and there are still days where they take forever to eat which drives me nuts, but they do eventually eat the food. Also found since age of around 10/11 a lot more open to trying new foods, with many successes.

Zero tolerance for this , gagging and making a fuss and you leave the table
Its appalling manners
Timer for 30 minutes then the food goes away
Cant believe people put up with this nonsense

You do realise that gagging is often involuntary right?

As for food away after 30 mins, that’s actually a great result if they’re not particularly fussed about eating the food or eating in general in the first place.

Some children have sensory issues with food and gagging can't be helped and isn't bad manners.

Some children can't afford to have food taken away after 30 minutes or they would never eat.

This is my advice of someone who was a fussy eater as a child. If I didn't like something I absolutely would not eat anything to the point that my mum had to take me to the GP because I was so under weight.

You need to put a lot of thought and hard work into getting your children to eat a varied diet. It takes a long time to become familiar with different food and you need to play the long game. Everyone's child goes through the beige stage as a toddler and if you completely give into that then they will become fussy eaters. People hunger for what they feed on. You need to expand their diet slowly so that they hunger for more than beige food.

My suggestions are to actually find out what they like. As a child I was labelled fussy and was mocked when I said I wanted to be vegetarian, my mum used to laugh that I would "actually have to eat vegetables." But looking back I actually DID like some vegetables. The label of fussy eater just got in the way.

Stop giving your DC so much choice. Don't serve pasta separate from the sauce. Why not make macaroni? Or a basic tomato sauce with no "vegetables" cooked with the pasta? Offer safe veg on the side like you said brocoli or peas. What about some raw cherry tomatoes or spinach as a side salad? You said they will eat them so put them down on the table and serve them regularly. You say they eat rice? Why not make more rice dishes, could you not try flavoured rice or a risotto?

If you don't want fussy eater you need to put in the hard work. Pay attention to what they actually really don't like but apart from that let meal times be a bit challenging for them. Make their safe food a tiny bit challenging like I've suggested above and build on it. As the challenging things become normal add in one little thing new like say one new side vegetable. Give it a few months until it becomes safe and then try something new.

Just to add that getting a child involved in cooking can be helpful too. 11 is definitely old enough to learn how to cook with parental supervision. Encourage your DD to look up some receipes and make a meal for the family, for example.

That way, she'll have some control over what she's eating.

I put up with it because i refused to give in to eating food that would not make her gag...as bad as that sounds...i mean beige, not really needing chewing type foods.
Any difference in smell or texture and she would gag and it was involuntary as she did it pretty much from weaning up until i would say about 8.
As another poster has said it has taken years of constantly introducing new foods, usually in a texture that is more acceptable eg in a sauce or very finely chopped or over cooked so soft and then slowly adapting so gets used to it and eventually eats it in acceptable (less hassle for me and rest of family) way then move onto another food and repeat.
I have other children and they have not been like this and they all eat pretty healthily but she still avoids certain textures that involve more mastication eg raw carrots

Are you applying your zero tolerance approach to autistic children? If not then you don’t really know what you’re talking about and if so then you have a very high tolerance for observing genuine distress in others.

DC1 aged about 13, he eats everything we do including any random new things from the Hello Fresh order.

DC2 is currently 15 and as fussy as ever (and will literally eat nothing until the next morning if he doesn’t like dinner) so still waiting…