When did your DC stop being fussy eaters and start eating like normal human beings?

[TheRozzers]

Oldest DD is 11 and would happily live on chicken nuggets and pizza if we let her.

Younger DC seems to be following suit.

We rarely eat as a family as they flat out refuse normal food (by normal I mean anything containing onions, garlic, cooked vegetables or a sauce of any kind).

They will happily eat toddler food - plain pasta, grated cheese, raw carrot, cucumber sticks.

Please tell me they will grow out of it?

I think the OP might want input from someone who's been a parent for more than 5 minutes.

We’ve come a long way from that and it took years, but she still has a pretty crap diet (according to most people) . Not as bad as ARFID, but tricky enough to manage. I honestly don’t think “she’ll eat when she’s hungry” or forcing her to eat things she hated would’ve worked. It’s easier now as she’s a teen and she’ll eat stuff that she doesn’t necessarily think is nice if it’s not causing instant revulsion/reaction. Tomatoes in any form are a big no no. She used to actually be afraid of them when little and scream/cry if someone put ketchup on her plate. 🙄 Fun times.

DH and I were fussy kids. I got better when I started cooking and exploring food from other countries. DH did when I was doing the cooking. He remained a bit fussy until recently. Had one quite fussy kid who also started expanding his food groups when he had to do his own cooking.

DS, adhd, was a terrible eater when younger.
Wanted all the sugary and salty dopamine foods he could lay his hands on.
He's 20 now and is a fairly decent eater. He probably started expanding his diet around 15/16 yrs old.

He also eats larger amounts of food, which is a relief as he has always been thin.
You have my sympathy. It's a real worry trying to feed young and fussy children.

Son is 23 and just started eating onions and peppers and things in a sauce! He does have autism though and I did not push him but always offered him things to try.

Arfid is extremely rare and usually associated with ND
In every single case of fussy eating its always due to parental/ child anxiety and control issues

My DH was exceptionally fussy, ate about 3 meals on rotation
His mother hovered behind him at meal times, watching every mouthful, commenting
Even as an adult she commented constantly on what we ate at mealtimes, made noises and got told to pack it in.

I was desperate for my child to eat well, its socially so limiting

I cooked one meal, put the food on the table, with a couple of sides and said nothing
Sometimes they ate everything, other times not
Treat foods were just treated like any other food
Would you like some yes/ no
No bribery/ comments etc

Everyone will come after me but Ive seen it time and time again

I would agree with that.So many parents turn it into a battle of wills. Kids quickly see it winds their parents up if they don't eat something.And they get the reaction they want. Often many alternatives are offered if they won't eat.What's put in front of them so it's a win win all round for the child.

This sight of my sister one morning holding up three different alternative options for her precious little cherub, who refused to eat her cereal. This was following all sorts of bribery and goading, and to try attempts at spoon feeding whilst it was on the table. The kid had her mother well trained.

We definitely suffered with the battle of wills issue. I refused to make more than one meal at a time. I worked out what they liked and worked around it.
We had a no veg eater, so I found Jamie Oliver's 7 veg sauce a God send. I still make it. We all love it.
DH and I are happy eaters with a very varied diet, so to have a DC with limited intake and little palette, was an odd experience to say the least. DC definitely used it as a measure of control. He was so thin at times and the judgement was there. Seemed to be perfectly fine to let me know that my child was under weight. No one ever points out that your child is over weight (my DB was).

I was very fussy as a child but the choice was always take it of leave it. My DD was also (and still is) very fussy. She was also a bad sleeper, and if she refused dinner i wasnt going to let hunger be another factor in not sleeping. she would only eat a very small number of things (yoghurt, porridge, breadsticks) when she was a toddler, (I literally followed Anabel karmel to the letter, did all the "right" things, involved her in cooking etc) she has gradually improved slightly from there but we joke she literally had the same pack lunch every day for 12 years at school. A lot of things for her are about texture of food as well as taste.
DS ate just about everything the moment he was weaned

It’s more that ARFID is nowhere near as common as the internet and social media would have you believe. It’s also pretty much always linked to autism.

Fussy eating is not ARFID. Children preferring raw veggies to cooked or not wanting sauce on their pasta is a normal developmental phase that doesn’t need to be labelled or diagnosed as some kind of condition.

That’s definitely what I’ve seen too, I think late teens 20s is when they start opening their palettes

Dd and ds were really limited in what dishes they would eat and it had long since become really boring and repetitive (imo) for me to shop and make.

Things changed when dd was year 5 and ds year 10.

There were a lot of changes at home and as a result mealtimes became a much more relaxed, coming together of the family around a table every day at a specific time where we actually talked.

A year later we then switched to meal boxes, so they could choose the meal for all of us (and later join in with the cooking of it) and that really cemented it.

If your DD has ASD and potentially ARFID, other responses aren’t going to be relevant. From my experience
Child 1 - stopped being fussy about 8, now a very adventurous eater as a teen
Child 2 - has never been fussy
Child 3 - has never been fussy
Child 4 - borderline ARFID at 5yrs.

Fussy eating is not ARFID. Children preferring raw veggies to cooked or not wanting sauce on their pasta is a normal developmental phase that doesn’t need to be labelled or diagnosed as some kind of condition

Its perfectly normal to like different things but anxious parents label their DC and you get a list every playdate🙄
Meh unless its an allergy I ignore and serve anyway
Guess how many times Ihatepeastommy has eaten peas at my house ?
Its the reaction of the parents though
But he HATES peas
Yes of course he does, you tell him every 5 minutes 😜

I think some parents make fussy eating their childrens personality -its not really fair on the kids
Shit parenting includes poor choices around food and mealtimes

Or is late teens/20’s when they finally realise how ridiculous it is for them to eat the way they do?

Good post!
I always wonder about people who would starve their kids.
What kind of joyless household is that, and who thinks back fondly to the parents that did that to them?

Awww, I was you once, than I had DS2. Good luck if you're planning a second.

Absolutely. Why would parents cause stress to their kids like that?

I have a child with some sensory issues who doesn't really eat at school, except occasionally some breadsticks at break. I've been very clear with the school that DC is not to be forced to eat and should just be able to sit and have a cup of water while their friends have lunch, but still the teachers try to 'encourage' DC to eat, which is well meaning but just causes distress. DC is a happy, healthy, well adjusted child who doesn't cause trouble in any other way, so I definitely wouldn't say we're making food issues 'part of their personality' 🙄. It's not something I really mention to other parents either, except to give them the head's up not to bother with food if DC is having a playdate, which I think is polite.

Personally, I think people who are obsessed with criticising what other people's children eat or other parents' approaches to food have control issues, but I don't generally go around saying that. I've always assumed that parents know their own children best and are trying their best for them.

I did also chuckle at this advice from someone who's kid isn't even 2 😂@Peonies12 sorry to break it to you but until age 2 most babies eat everything. After 2 is when they start realizing they have more choice. Their growth also slows so they're not nearly as hungry anymore. Good luck.

Both my DC were fussy eaters - DD is nearly 21 and has got better in the last couple of years (!) - she used to have severe reaction to anything red when she was younger (tomatoes / strawberries etc) so that would have narrowed her diet
Neither liked anything slightly spicy
So DD was about 17/18 ( coinciding to going out with her friends to eat) when she started trying new things
DS would have been about 18 (when he went to uni)
Looking at this written down - I think it might have been my cooking!!

Some cracking comments as usual!

My DD is 14 has got more particular over time (ND). She eats well but it is the same 4-5 meals on repeat (past bake, bolognaise, meat with veg, chicken wraps). I find it quite tedious but she's a gem really and if me and DS12 want something she doesn't like she'll go make herself something like beans on toast.

Would like to add, she ate everything at 2!

Buffet restaurants on hols, she will eat the same ish things every meal.

My DS3 seems to get by on fresh air, fruit and rage!

I personally changed when I reached university, but even then it was a bit by bit. I will say all of the people who say they don’t pander to it, mine didn’t either it just meant I sat in front of a lot of full dishes was hungry a lot and prayed for today we had fishfingers fry ups burgers or tea like beans on toast. I myself have two fussy eaters one is still fussy age 18 the other grew out for age 1415. My other two will eat anything and everything!

For me about 19 when I went to uni 🙈 my poor mum. She says it’s karma with my kids now 😂

4 children who are now adults. I only ever cooked 1 meal so if they didn’t eat that they were going to be hungry. No pudding/afters unless dinner was eaten.

May seem harsh but by the time they were at x hook we could take them anywhere and they’d eat anything. Still do. It’s incredibly rude to reject food that someone has made for you.