When did your DC stop being fussy eaters and start eating like normal human beings?

[TheRozzers]

Oldest DD is 11 and would happily live on chicken nuggets and pizza if we let her.

Younger DC seems to be following suit.

We rarely eat as a family as they flat out refuse normal food (by normal I mean anything containing onions, garlic, cooked vegetables or a sauce of any kind).

They will happily eat toddler food - plain pasta, grated cheese, raw carrot, cucumber sticks.

Please tell me they will grow out of it?

Your children always ate like normal human beings because they weren’t natural fussy eaters like some. I did what you did. Children are different and implying it’s peoples own fault that their children don’t eat as well as yours is unhelpful and untrue.

It's like everything else with child rearing. When things go right it's because of your brilliant parenting and when they don't it's because your child is unusual.

I dont think there's a set age rather personality and other factors at play. Mine are 11, 8 and 4. I've found the more we do cooking together and they get interested in food the better it is. They also watch cooking programs which helps. I find the older ones influence the younger and friends can influence too. Mine also make their own snacks and lunches regularly so they know the effort it is to cook and prep food so that does help in the understanding of "I'm not making individual meals" or taking every tiny bit of whatever out of one meal etc if they are struggling or tired I will flex a bit for them but it's reciprocal.

Exposure to variety can help but its a little soul destroying not to mention expensive so I fully understand why it's not always possible. We also have some ND going on so I pick my battles. I find mostly just keeping no pressure or stress on eating or trying new things helps. Like many things what will work for one won't for another.

Yes, I think you are right which is a shame really.

Those of you saying (sanctimoniously) "oh well, MINE aren't fussy because they got what they were given / they ate the same food as we did" etc....how do you explain how I've ended up with three DCs with very differing attitudes to food? All brought up the same, all served the same types of food, home-cooked, lots of veggies....

DS, somewhat picky, but nothing out of the ordinary. Now eats most things, but still has a few dislikes, mostly to do with texture (sauces, things with bones). Improved massively after leaving home and learning to cook.

DD1, total foody from day one. Eats anything. loves cooking, adventurous....

DD2, fussy. Has a lot of sensory issues around food, so found it stressful to even try certain things, but luckily liked enough of the healthy stuff that I could cater for her. Restaurants and holidays always a bit of a nightmare. She got better in her early 20s, but remains the fussiest of my three, everything has to be familiar, likes everything plain plain plain.

Never but it turns out she has ARFID.

What happens if you have them make their own meals? My son is 10 and a bit fussier than my 13 year old daughter. She has her likes and dislikes but is more adventurous in general. He has a lot of feelings about textures and smells etc etc.

We do make sure he tries things before just insisting they are terrible, and we give it a few goes before giving up. If he really can't handle what the rest of us are eating, he's welcome to make a sandwich or similar for himself. He needs a carb, a protein and a fruit/veg but he controls that himself.

I would consider stopping the fuss - make what you are making anyway, they can try it or make something for themselves. As long as they're getting their necessary vitamins etc. then you will likely make things harder if you make too much of a thing of it. And it's worth going out to eat now and again to try new things - sometimes the things I never would have considered are big wins (my son loves bao buns for example). Have a snack beforehand so they aren't too cranky to think and give them full choice of the menu.

The ones I know don't eat at friends' houses unless they are sure the friends or their parents won't embarrass them.
Most people are quite kind about it

She’s 15. Still waiting. 😬

I would say mine only turned into ‘I’ll eat / try most things’ at 16 and 18. It’s so much easier. You have my sympathies.

For dd it was about aged 12-13. Right after she did started doing food tech at school with a really good teacher. Looking back it’s clear that she is autistic which I hadn’t even thought of at the time.

I have a fussy eater. He had a tongue tie and huge tonsils plus allergies. He would choose not to eat rather than put things that felt weird in his mouth and he couldn’t swallow.

If you’ve not experienced a child with difficulties then I think it’s quite easy to be superior by saying things like ‘my children just ate what they were given’.

I also recognise my child was able to grow out of issues and hasn’t got anything life long.

What has worked for us it to gradually introduce things over time. For example, they like jacket potatoes so let’s expand to mashed potato and boiled potato. They like cheese so let’s introduce cheese sauce and different types of cheese.

It improved massively by pre teen and then to eating most things by teenage.

Mine is not even 2 and she only eats what we eat. We never make her try anything, she's welcome to not eat anything or just eat part of a meal. Of course she doesn't eat everything, she has preferences as does everyone. Yours won't grow out of it, you have to stop pandering to it. Make one normal meal, they eat it or they don't. No alternatives. No snacks apart from fruit and veg. Make them look at recipes and cook with you.

Interesting that you classify certain things as toddler food. It’s recommended that toddlers just eat what adults do minus the salt. Giving them special food only solidifies neophobic responses.

Couldn’t agree more. Always gave mine whatever we were eating. They weren’t given options about meals and have grown up as adventurous food lovers. I cringe when I see parents pandering to faddy eaters.

And if they just didn’t eat? Try having a toddler that eats nothing for two weeks(the kid weaned herself off milk at 11 months!). How long would you have lasted?

@Peonies12 I could have said the same when DS was not yet two, but by the time he was three we had dietician support because he absolutely would not eat, sometimes for days on end, if something triggered his sensory issues. He got dangerously underweight and went off the bottom of the growth chart at times.
Faced with that, you make compromises to get them to eat anything at all.

My kids would eat whatever I gave them at 2 as well. They both realised when they were older that I wasn't magical and couldn't actually force them to do things they didn't want to do so got fussier. Think with my daughter it was part of her autism and sensory challenges but with my son I think it's more about being in control and 'winning'. Kids will change a lot between 2 and 11!

Do they have special needs? Have you looked into it? That's unusual for NT kids at those ages. Some fussiness is normal, but what you describe is extreme.

I did all of those things too. Baby led weaning, loads of flavour and texture, spices, sauces, all types of veg etc etc. Fully in the 'smaller portions of adult food' camp. Both my children gradually stopped eating things. I held firm to the notion that I would just keep putting it in front of them and they would try it again, but they got fussier and fussier, to the extent that my youngest ended up under medical monitoring for his growth (and my oldest probably should have done, but COVID....). At which point I gave in and just fed them the few foods they'd eat to make sure they actually grew (which does not include chicken nuggets fwiw).

My DH is still a fussy eater. The kids grew out of it mostly when they started cooking for themselves - uni aged.

There is evidence that people perceive tastes differently - eg coriander tastes like soap to some people. Also some textures are unpleasant to some - personally I find grapes have a really grim combination of gritty skin and mushy insides. Marmite has a similar texture profile of grit and slime. My son cannot stand the stringiness of onions... Finely diced is palatable.

I don't think it is as simple as feeding kids adult food. Yes familiarity can work for some people but not all.

We had similar. At age 2 my eldest ate everything we ate with no issues, then slowly refused one food after another over the next year or so until paediatricians said 'he needs calories, just give him anything he is prepared to eat'.

He would absolutely starve himself rather than eat what the rest of us were having if he didn't like it. He is now 8 and eats a very small range of (largely beige) foods.

One of mine ate everything until he was about 3. Then he got fussy. He eats a wide range of food now at 16. So he did grow out of it.

Not sure why you think kids don't.

I was a terribly fussy eater as a child, I only ate a few things on rotation and my parents pandered to it. It was a curse as it became very embarrassing and anxiety-provoking as a teenager/adult and I started eating out etc. I sorted it when I had my own child as I did not want him to grow up the same. He ate anything and pretty much so do I now (still a couple of things I don't touch).

They're old enough for you to have a conversation about it

• eating like this is bad for their health
• eating like this is going to be excruciatingly embarrassing and socially restrictive when they are older
• tastes are learned over time. Noone automatically likes everything, the body has a caveman reflex to assume something unfamiliar might be poisonous, so you need to try a small amount of new foods several times before they become palatable - and then they usually become delicious too.
• You won't be continuing with the stays quo, they'll be served full meals and will be expected to try a taste of everything. No other options/snacks.

18 !!!!

He was an absolute nightmare all through his "childhood". Only changed once he was at University. Now he eats literally anything, anywhere, with anyone!! Literally changed overnight, like flicking a switch!