Nine-month-old suddenly refusing second nap and becoming overtired by bedtime

[Ovie1207]

My 9 month old has always been a bad napper, but the last week or so he will only take one morning nap for the whole day. We had moved to a 2 nap schedule, which seemed to be working well. But now, no matter what time his first nap ends, he will not have another one. His morning nap can be 30-60 minutes, and it doesn't make a difference how long this one is. Yesterday he woke up very early, so woke up from his first nap at 9.15. He didn't sleep again until bedtime. He's very clearly tired, rubbing his eyes and bursts into tears every now and then, but will not nap. He hasn't slept in his pram for months, and the car is only very occasionally. Because he's overtired I've been putting him to bed at 6pm, but he's still so restless overnight and wakes up crying a lot (probably due to being overtired). Is this just a regression thing that will solve itself or is there anything I can try? Afternoons are absolute hell at the moment since he's exhausted but won't nap, then I'm up constantly through the night.
Thanks.

We always reverted to carrier / buggy / car naps if mine was resisting but needed it. Do they just not fall asleep that way?

I don't think he's slept in the pram since he was a newborn. The car always used to be guaranteed, but now it's very rare. I haven't tried the carrier in a while actually. He's just so nosy and clearly has too much to be getting on with rather than napping 😂.

You could try moving him to one nap at midday? My DC moved to one nap a day at 9 months and it worked well for him.

Our nursery moved ours to one nap pretty quickly after starting at 9 months. Is try just one nap at midday for 2 hours

What is his sleep environment like?

I had this problem at 9 months too and I got a blackout blind - like totally, complete blackout. It sticks onto the window with suction cups and then I tape the edges so literally no light comes through. You are meant to not be able to see your own hand. White noise as well.

Also, what's his pre-nap routine like?

I started tidying away the toys and closing curtains in the lounge 20 minutes before his nap, then a bit of quiet play with only one or two quiet toys/ books out, nappy, sleeping bag, milk, then carry him through to his room. Same thing in the evening.

This either worked, or he just got past the phase, you can never really know but now he's 1 and he has his afternoon nap.

I thought about trying to transition him to 1 nap, but most 9 month olds are not really ready for that and he's clearly overtired. Personally I would keep trying with 2 naps until he shows signs of actually not being tired for his morning nap.

You can also try even putting him down at 5.30 on days when he is really overtired - sometimes the later they go to bed the less they sleep (sounds counter-intuitive but it worked). You don't have to push it to 6.

Cutting the morning nap for a longer period of time will help. Some children move to 1 nap around 12 months, both mine did most days if the week. So at 9 months the morning nap needed to be a 15/20 minute cat nap. If they slept an hour there wasn’t enough time in the day for them to be tired at a reasonable time for a second nap.
Alternatively I would try for a catnap in the buggy or car around 3 and push bed slightly late as 6pm is so early.

That's very early to move to one nap. My thoughts:

1. Room must be totally dark and quiet. Buy blackout blinds but yiu probably already have.
2. You need a schedule. My sons both loved a schedule. Winging it never worked.
3. Feed to sleep, do whatever needed to get them to sleep for the afternoon nap.
4. Calpol about an hour before in case it's teething. Both my sons' sleep went to pot every time there was a tooth coming.

Wow that's mad, how do you go out? I'd really recommend a SnoozeShade for buggy naps. Mine almost exclusively did buggy naps for the first 12 months.

Mine never napped in the pram more than 30 minutes. Not enough to be restful but enough for him to refuse to sleep anymore and be a total mess for the rest of the day.

At 9 months, and very restless, maybe put some Bonjela on his gums. If some teeth are on the move they could be bothering him and disturbing his sleep.

I will say though my daughter dropped to one nap at 9 months. It's early yes, but some kids just have low sleep needs. She then dropped her naps completely just before she turned 2, so it was normal for her. My son followed a more normal nap time schedule, but still dropped to one nap ~11 months. He was ~3 when he dropped them completely.

We do have blackout blinds and curtains, but I wouldn't say it's complete darkness tbh. He's always had the white noise. It used to start him drifting straight away but not anymore.
He's never been fed to sleep for naps, but we've always done a bit of wind down time. I even tried feeding him to sleep yesterday since he was so tired, but every time his eyes started to close he batted the bottle away
I did consider 1 nap, but I also thought it was too soon.
I have actually wondered about putting him to bed even earlier than 6, but thought that would be too early.

My daughter went down to one nap at this age and dropped naps completely at about 20-21 months. It was not fun!

You may just have to accept he only has one nap now and try and push that one later.

We do have blackout blinds and curtains, but I wouldn't say it's complete darkness tbh. He's always had the white noise. It used to start him drifting straight away but not anymore.
He's never been fed to sleep for naps, but we've always done a bit of wind down time. I even tried feeding him to sleep yesterday since he was so tired, but every time his eyes started to close he batted the bottle away
I did consider 1 nap, but I also thought it was too soon.
I have actually wondered about putting him to bed even earlier than 6, but thought that would be too early.

If he’s being really grumpy int he afternoon from being so tired, then might be worth pushing his morning nap back - maybe try at 11ish and hope he does a couple of hours and then with any luck the afternoon might be a bit easier. The morning might be tricky as he’ll be grumpier, but if you’re dealing with a grumpy overtired baby anyway then you may as well get it out of the way in the morning!
It is early for one nap, but worth giving it a go maybe.

He used to go to bed at 7, I've only started with 6 on the days that he's ridiculously overtired as being overtired makes him even more restless overnight.

I've always had a schedule, I have friends who think I'm mad for planning naps etc as they very much go with the flow, but that doesn't work for me either!
I tried feeding to sleep yesterday and that didn't work, every time his eyes closed he batted the bottle away. I have wondered teething and I've given him nurofen/anbesol a few times.
I'm having the fight right now, he's absolutely exhausted but will not sleep. And I'm struggling with the energy to keep fighting him 😂.

What time is he waking up in the morning?

What’s your rough schedule like at the moment? And how much sleep is he getting on average in a 24 hour period. 6pm is an incredibly early bedtime and it’s possible a lot of the restlessness at night is because the night stretch is too long for him. 10-11 hours of nighttime sleep is normally that age, and a restless night is probably in part because he can’t sleep as long as he’s expected to at night. That’s probably why he’s waking so early because he doesn’t need any more sleep.

If he’ll fall asleep at 6pm for the night, would he fall
asleep a bit earlier but later in the afternoon for a ten minute bridge nap, then have an 8pm bedtime? It takes the edge off sleep pressure to get to a better bedtime, but isn’t long enough that they’re undertired for their nighttime sleep. Some babies are ready to drop naps early, but babies also go through nap refusal stages before they’re ready to drop the nap and it’s just case of riding it out while it happens.

Always between 4 and 5. I've tried everything to push it back. Before his naps got so bad I tried different nap times, putting him to bed later, putting him to bed earlier, keeping him in the bedroom in the dark, but he religiously wakes up around that time.

His bedtime was 7, I said in my original post I've only been putting him to bed at 6 when he's refusing to nap and is ridiculously overtired. He's worse overnight when I keep him up later. We've also tried naps later in the day but he always gets grumpy around the same time regardless. I tried literally everything to get him to sleep longer in the morning. The restlessness is worse when he's overtired, I really don't think he's getting too much sleep.

I would recommend buying a blind with suction cups that stick to the window and get it properly taped down. Something like this https://www.tommeetippee.com/en-gb/products/portable-blackout-blind?variant=53341367632210&gclsrc=aw.ds&=&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=17336269893&gbraid=0AAAAAC9C0qdKwjS2WH5hxrH2FtW7xIax

It might also help with the 4/5am wakes in summer as they wake with the light.

The feeding to sleep/ milk at naptime, I don't think that's important in itself - it's just having a routine, which it sounds like you do. Ours happens to include a bottle before putting him down, but some people have a story, low lights, toys away, quiet music - whatever - just the same short routine every time and in the same room.

If you think he is tired before 6pm then honestly just put him down. In my experience it doesn't matter so much what the clock says - it sounds like he is super overtired at the moment and you need to catch that moment when he's sleepy and relaxed, but not in overtired/ second wind territory. I honestly wouldn't hesitate to do a 5.30 bedtime a few days.

We had a phase around 8/9 months where my son was being put down at 5/5.30 because he was doing this and getting overtired. Sometimes that was bedtime and sometimes it turned into a weird late nap, he got up again about 7 or 8 for an hour, then went back down again - but that was OK. It was a weird few weeks but I do think putting him down before he was overtired helped him even though it seemed counterintuitive.

Someone said to me, which I think was good advice, look at your baby, not at the clock.

Don't underestimate how early babies sometimes need to sleep when they are overtired! If he's waking at 4/5am too then he really needs the extra sleep.

Good luck, it's so bloody hard when they are like this and you never truly know if it's just a random phase or something you are doing xx

Mine also has always refused pram naps, still does at 1 year old. I can count on one hand the number of times he's slept in the pram since about 4/5 months old, despite snooze shades etc and lots of attempts. He will fight and fight and fight it, however tired he is - he just keeps himself awake, little monkey!

The answer to how we go out is we just don't at nap time unless it's necessary. We just make sure we're home for his nap and it's a complete pain, I can't wait for him to go to one nap 😅

This is 100% me. I have friends who can meet up at any time because their babies will just fall asleep in the pram, whereas I'm the awkward one ruled by nap times 😂.

You’re right to move bedtimes as early as possible to help with overtiredness. It’s unusual for a nine month old to drop to one nap, but not unheard of. I would give one nap a go – starting around 11am at first – and keep a very early bedtime while you see if he’s happily making the transition.

Even if he’s waking at 4/5am, I would try like crazy for at least 3 days to not let him nap until at least 9am. Try to reset his whole system.

A pre-9am nap means it’s still being treated as night sleep, so his body has no issue waking at 4-5am.