Panicking at 28 weeks about coping with three young children

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Hi,

I’m 28 weeks pregnant with baby no3 that was very much wanted, other children are nearly 3 and nearly 4 and i’m suddenly hit with panic at how I am going to manage with 3. I feel so stupid for going with my heart on a third baby instead of my head, when my first 2 DC are not very well behaved at all & I struggle to cope with them at times, never mind adding a 3rd one into the mix.

I absolutely adore my DC, but between working, pregnancy, and we are in the process of renovating a house so staying with family I am just feeling totally burnt out. Both my DC are going through rough patches with their behaviour in terms of tantrums / rudeness & just generally being extremely awkward and I find myself losing my patience constantly. I’m also terrified that these feelings are somehow going to lead me to have PPD despite not having had it with my previous 2. None of this is helped by people constantly pointing out how I am going to have my hands full with the new baby (as if I didn’t already realise & have anxiety about this!).

Has anyone previously been in this position and it’s all turned out ok / got any advice on how to cope!

Thank you.

You make no reference to any partner at all?

My DH works away Mon-Fri and often for extended periods, so am solo parenting for the majority of the time.

You need a strong routine and to stick to it rigidly. Children benefit from boundaries and knowing what’s going to happen when, and what the expectations are. You can do it, but take any help offered too.

It’s too late for worrying about it now. What’s done is done.
You need a strict behaviour management plan for your existing children and your partner needs to stop ‘working away’ and getting a more family friendly job

Just remember that this is a season in your life. It isn’t the entirety of the rest of your existence. You’ll have a busy few years but you can do it! Think of the billions of women with big families before you. You live in a time of modern medicine, disposable nappies and CBeebies! You’ve got this!

I had 3 under 3, and it was hard work. Their dad left when the youngest had just turned one. I had to move 400 miles back down south to be near people I know. That was hard. But I found as they grow up and become more Independent it gets easier. You've got this just remember try not to be hard on yourself

It sounds like it will be a struggle to be honest. I doubt you’ll get anyone on this thread saying otherwise. You’ve got a couple of months to work on your children’s behaviour so maybe focus on that - strong routines and boundaries.

I’d reach out to your midwife and then they can do a referral for some health visitor support - my 3rd was unplanned and I was very stressed and they were really helpful

I coped better than I thought as I no longer felt unwell from being pregnant.

I've just had my third and it’s been the easiest transition so far! My other two are 4 and 2 and it helps they have each other to play with and can get a lot of their snacks etc while I’m cluster feeding a newborn! They’re both in love with her as well, it’s very cute. They do still fight don’t get me wrong but I think I have more patience now than when I was heavily pregnant! This baby also sleeps better and will be put down in the day which makes the world of difference!