Tips for long flight from UK - New Zealand with a 21 month old and 3 month old?!

[PinkOrchard]

Hi all!

We're about to book flights to New Zealand to go and visit my brother for the first time since he moved in 2024.. Wanting to go before my eldest is 2 (end of this year) because of the cost of flights etc - any practical tips for travelling this distance with a 21 month old and a 3 month old?! (Tbh, I'm not worried about the 3 month old - it's the toddler I worry about haha!).

We're stopping off on the way for a couple of days to break the journey up / try to fight the jet lag etc, but any practical advice for the actual flights? Or anyone able to share their experiences so I can mentally prepare at least 🤣

I've seen the usual pack more snacks than you think, don't be precious about screen time (don't have an iPad but happy to let her watch films/TV etc), bring busy boards etc..

Getting the toddler their own seat isn't really an option either as it costs an extra £1,400 which we just haven't got spare (and it's one of those situations where if we don't go now, there'll be 101 reasons to put it off and I worry we'll never go and I'd like to visit him at least once!).

Thanks in advance!

Typical that one of course fell asleep as soon as you got off the plane!

Toddler is quite good at sleeping anywhere when she's tired, so fingers crossed for some sleep🤞🏻

And my thoughts exactly re 3 month old! If we delay the trip to save up for this oh-so magic seat, then I just feel like we're making it worse for ourselves as the 3 month old would obviously be older and more difficult! (Plus we may have more children in the next year or two, so that just adds extra layers of complications / further delays going!)

How are you using your ‘brothers’ airline lounges’? Your brother would have to be flying with you to use them and most have a limit of one guest anyway.

I did it on my own, WLG-MAN with a 3 year old, an 20month old and a 9month old. I arrived in Manchester wearing some lounge gear from 1st class as one of the kids was sick in Abu Dabi. The kids were all just wearing nappies. It was carnage. 15years later, I haven’t flown since!! Lots of snacks and lots of little toys to keep them entertained. As much screen time as possible. Have no expectations and no standards would be my advice. By the end, they will be eating food off the food. Only attempt it if you really, really have to.

I've done that flight and honestly, it wasn't that bad. Everyone was all over how awful it would be but it wasn't. We went through Singapore but without a break in between. Lap baby just slept in arms. Jet lag at the other end is far harder. If you can swing it the extra seat for the extra room will be useful though. I would try to do that.

Book the sky cot for the baby. Then one of you will have a a free lap. Also buy the toddler cheap Kids tablet. You can get them from Amazon.

Just be aware that every time you hit turbulence, they'll instruct you to take your baby out. We had one but didn't really use it. The parents that did were constantly having to take their babies in and out depending on what was going on during the flight.

I guess we were lucky then because both DCs spent pretty much the whole flight in their bassinet on the respective flights!

As someone else said. Look into the Air NZ sky couch economy seats at least for one of the legs of the journey. They are made for family groups with small children. Perhaps your brother would contribute as he likely will enjoy seeing you all.

Ignore the negativity.
Done it plenty of times. It is long. Period.
Now to practical tips since you had plenty of comments.

Look at several airlines. In my experience BA has the least empty seats on any given flight. Whereas there were empty rows in a few occasions with Singapore airlines and Thai. This might no longer be the case with the war in the Middle East. If they are empty sit, the parent wth the toddler can move after doors are closed.

Singapore as a stopover might be hot and humid but you have a beach and it is so safe. Los Angeles is another one to consider, again with the added bonus of a beach.

For the flights, the usual, screens, snacks in tiny bags, books, stickers,… I never bothered to change into pj . Seriously, there isn’t much space anyway and it is more a hassle than help.
Practice at home having to stay buckled to a parent. A chair and two belts. Parent sits on chair with a belt abound waist and back of chair , then toddler has belt attached to the parent’s belt. And make it the time for a special hug that is calm . "I love you more than apples. I love you more than a sunset. I love you more than chocolate. and then silly, I love you more than a dishwasher..,,“ . Djeco has some nice card games for very young kids. We used pouet pouet a lot . Any new game you buy, play at home a few times.

If taking a tablet, buy a headphones as well.

As others have said, a change for you and 3 changes for each kid.

Special meals are delivered before general meal service. Consider that having a kid each and a tray each is tricky, so if one of you orders a special meal, you have 1 tray, two adults, and by the time the main service starts, that adult is done eating, and you can cajole the crew into removing the tray, before the regular meal is served to the other adult. Kid’s menu is revolting. If available , fruit platter is the nicest of special meal but not every airline has it.

Have a few good plastic bags (bin bags are good). In case of vomit or poo explosion in a nappy that leaks. You have a change but where do you put soiled clothes. Have way more nappies than you think you need and an extra packet of wipes. Wipes are great to clean anything .

Last one is that luggages get lost sometimes so have with you what you might need for six hours after arrival before being able to hit the shops.

Be nice to the flight assistant and they will be nice to you.

Many airlines have snacks on a tray at the back of the plane for the night part of flight. Often they have fruit as well. And if they don’t, just ask.

Toilets can become quite disgusting. Travel with Birkenstock type of shoes for you and crocs type for kid.

Have pens with you in case you need to fill in landing or immigration cards.

And the most important tip. A flight has a start time and an end time. At some point, you arrive.

I watched a mother cope well. Utilised the cradle for baby, used Phenergan anti histamine for toddler. Gave toddler chewy treats on take off. Kids were under total control in stroller sometimes if going to loo. I was amazed. Lots of drinking and eating, regular walking, snoozing, cartoon watching.
Amazed!

@Carelessebba is spot on with somewhere to put dirty clothes. We use wet bags, designed for washable nappies, they are also great for swimwear, period pants, and the stained flannels teenage DS uses to wipe off his acne cream!

Check if you can sit together. Some airlines don’t allow two lap infants on a single row.

Amazing tips, thank you so much!

Hey @PinkOrchardi dont want to piss in your chips but I also don’t want you to be caught out. You said “Will be using my brother's airport lounges as well so will make use of those where possible too.”
I don’t know of any airline or other airport lounge scheme that allows access without the member actually being there and flying with you, even guest passes your brother would need to be there too and most of them are restricted to a single additional guest anyway not four.

If you were relying on those you will have to think again. There are seperate paid for lounges but for four of you I doubt you will get much benefit for the cost. Maybe one of you with the baby for some quiet time.

21 months is peak travelling hell. I’ve done that flight at 10, 18, 30 and 3.5 years old and the trip at 18 months took actual months off my life.

I have a super clingy child but even with their own seat it was still a gruelling test of keeping a slightly unreasonable small person with a very short attention span and fervent desire to move about entertained for 12 hours at a time when everyone around you is trying to sleep or at least relax.

With two lap children there is simply no way for either of you to eat as you can’t put the tray table down. It’s also incredibly tough on yhe poor person seated beside you as economy seats are very small and really not big enough for adult + toddler.

Things to think about

• lap children aren’t entitled to a meal & Singapore Airlines & Emirates provide only pouches for under 2s. You’ll need to consider how to feed the toddler - my suggestion is ordering a bland meal & sharing
• In the airport - you’ll need a sling plus Yoyo style buggy. I would try very hard to get a buggy in the overhead lockers on the plane.
• Pack a grab bag of nappies/wipes/disposable change mats and keep it out for nappy changes.
• Fly both children in sleep suits the whole way - pack a few spares.
• Basically bugger all kept my them 18 month old entertained but we did get good mileage out of contraband such as a packet of plasters. We took stickers, books, little games etc but nothing was as thrilling as a packet of plasters.

That's all covered, don't worry 😎

Lastly, if your child hadn’t had much exposure to a tablet then you need to start getting them hooked before you get on that plane.

My child has a tablet purely for travel, it is mysteriously “lost” in between holidays, but at 21mo they won’t be entertained if they’re encountering it for the first time on the plane. Mine wasn’t remotely interested in headphones at that age but again worth persisting.

Very lastly your EU/UK stickered car seats are fine to use in New Zealand but if you happen to go to Australia they won’t be legal.

Thanks for the tips! Already spoken to the airline and got the food sorted & don't particularly want her hooked on an tablet for something not happening for another few months but the pack of plasters made me laugh! Toddlers get so engrossed in the most peculiar things - but a good tip to think outside the box entertainment wise, thanks!

Trust me, we were (and are) po faced screen free parents but I have never regretted ignoring someone so much as the advice I was given to train my child up on Bluey before getting in the plane. Once onboard, she looked at the tablet with disdain, tossed it aside, and instead wanted my passport/lipbalm/wallet/Airpods/anything else she could drop into the back of the seat, to be lost until the flight attendants could help retrieve it.

As I said, the flight at 18 months actually shortened my life span so please learn from my mistakes!

👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 Hullo! I did this trip with a very active boy, aged 19 months.

And I was pregnant.

We also didn't have a stop off - 2 hour change of planes in LA was the only run around he had.

It was 2005, so long before tablets and mobile phone screens existed.

Getting the sky bassinet seat is easily the best tip I can give you. Having a space for him to be was very very needed. I couldn't imagine doing the entire flight with him on my lap. Hell on earth!

You've got some great tips on here as to how to keep him occupied. Air NZ took really good care of us and kept him hydrated and fed.

Preparation is the key, and asking this question now means you're a prepared sort of person.

Ignore the doubters on here - the flights weren't half as bad as I imagined they would be. And if it does all go wrong for your toddler, then remember that you will land at some point.

Good luck!

Absolutely ignore the previous comments, on our way home it was a night time flight, my 2 year old slept for an hour then she was wide awake. Huffing, rudeness and general dissatisfaction that this child was on their flight despite sleeping from Auckland to San Francisco.

Would you be rude to a disabled child or adult on a flight?

I am quite sure you wouldn’t and people don’t know your reasons for travelling, you could be going to a funeral. People are too quick to judge especially when they book economy class.

Don't over feed the kids on sugar! Keep them hydrated which will also keep them full. If flying with Singapore then economy is great and snacks etc always available. Remember to order kids meals. If flying Air NZ then have you considered skycouch? It's a small premium but they are amazing - and your kids are the right age to get the most benefit from them - probably you and both kids could get some kip. Get the extra seat with the skycouch which is a small premium over the basic, certainly not an extra 1400! Remember to sign up for the various frequent flyer clubs as that's quite a lot of points to collect on one trip and it gives you things like free wifi (messaging and basic browsing) on Singapore. Loads for you to do in Singapore so that's a great choice. Don't oversleep - your goal is to always operate on the local time so let the kids have naps at their usual times and you sleep at yours. Anyway we've done this trip loads of times from child in lap to 8 years old and it's fine, especially the way you are doing it with a break in Singapore. Main tip: fly Singapore or Air NZ! Some airlines are just better ; )

I'm not quite following who is going on the trip is it just you and the two children by yourself or is it you and your partner and the two children?