Tips for long flight from UK - New Zealand with a 21 month old and 3 month old?!

[PinkOrchard]

Hi all!

We're about to book flights to New Zealand to go and visit my brother for the first time since he moved in 2024.. Wanting to go before my eldest is 2 (end of this year) because of the cost of flights etc - any practical tips for travelling this distance with a 21 month old and a 3 month old?! (Tbh, I'm not worried about the 3 month old - it's the toddler I worry about haha!).

We're stopping off on the way for a couple of days to break the journey up / try to fight the jet lag etc, but any practical advice for the actual flights? Or anyone able to share their experiences so I can mentally prepare at least 🤣

I've seen the usual pack more snacks than you think, don't be precious about screen time (don't have an iPad but happy to let her watch films/TV etc), bring busy boards etc..

Getting the toddler their own seat isn't really an option either as it costs an extra £1,400 which we just haven't got spare (and it's one of those situations where if we don't go now, there'll be 101 reasons to put it off and I worry we'll never go and I'd like to visit him at least once!).

Thanks in advance!

If that's not possible then a lay over or book a lounge for a few hours at your interconnecting airport.
Don't try to make them adjust to the plane times sort it out the other end lots of spare clothes and toys in separate little bags so they get a new thing every few hours. Take loads and loads of snacks if they don't have a seat they often aren't accepted for a meal either.

Ive done it with kids that age. I would not do it without a seat for the toddler. You will literally have no room to eat or sleep. Even if you get a bassinet for the baby, imagine the 4 of you sitting in the back seat of a smaller car for 24 hours

What about something like this

I just looked up what it was as I still couldn’t remember and it was phenegen. This was in the 1990’s and, in my defense, I was told to use it by my pediatrician. He couldn’t understand why I had never used it before. I don’t even think it was on prescription. Yikes!!!

This is the AI overview “Phenergan (promethazine) must never be given to babies or children under 2 years old, and major health agencies now advise against using it in children under 6 years old. Giving this medicine to young infants can cause severe, life-threatening breathing problems, extreme drowsiness, and dangerous neurological or psychiatric side effects”.

That doesn’t sound great does it. I didn’t use it on every long flight but if they were struggling to fall asleep I’d give them some. I didn’t give it much thought 😳.

You've never done this kind of long haul journey have you, @PinkOrchard?

You're seriously underestimating just how demanding and awful it's going to be.

You really need to listen to those posters who have done this before.

No I haven't which is why I was asking for practical advice (and not people just telling me to do what I've already said can't be done...).

And I am listening to posters who have done this before - lots of the comments are from people who actually haven't done it themselves! So, I very much am listening to the ones who actually have done it and have given some very helpful tips 🙂

The baby will be in bassinet and the toddler will be walking around the plane with one parent at a time

Everyone here is being dramatic I’ve done 8 hours alone with a toddler it’s tiring but you need snacks, walk around on planes, dummies on clips, screens, new toys, friendly seat neighbours. You’ll be fine!

Pack changes of clothes for all of you

Also, my boy when he just turned 2 never wanted to sit on his seat just on my lap do buying extra seat might be wasted anyway

OP I’d under two, and three under 4 and have traveled long haul (more than once solo parenting), biggest tip is a none mumsnetty one but…ask politely for what would help. We’ve often gotten lucky on less busy flights and had others immediately next to us offered alternative seats to give us more space (which typically they’ve been delighted to take).

In terms of keeping them comfortable and occupied. We use soft headphones for white noise for sleeping for toddlers BUT over ear wired ones for an iPad for watching or play. Snacks (and a spare snack bag) ideally with things that fill them without too much sugar. At one stage I’d every colour of oaty bar). Never a snack box with one lid (as everything will be guarenteed to be on the floor in 5 mins, with tears). Labels on a teddy is a fab idea and each of mine also travel with a thin coat fleece blanket and spare socks (layers we can put on them, without making ourselves like saunas holding them).

Think about your own clothes and both comfort but also parenting. The one trip I hated I had no pockets, and a stupid bra that I love but had metal feeding clips exactly where my toddler wanted to put their head to sleep - clearly was fine for the baby but uncomfortable for the older one and the shuffling of their bony bum, left me bruised!

Similar in terms of your own entertainment/peace, if your a reader, think audio book. IF you like to wear an eye mask, play with them as games for a few weeks before - stops the kids being scared of them.

Games for them - water based colouring, reusable stickers (esp in a window seat are epic).

If you had an extra seat - the blow up seat extenders are the best for long haul travel: is it possibly worth buying one second hand just in case you ended up with more space? (In a bulkhead window on some layouts the smaller ones would fit length ways and still give you some legroom in a seat). There are also some hacks with scarfs…but I’ll also be honest and say I’ve made a floor bed under our feet in the bulkhead before for toddlers using coats/blankets and outside of belt on times it’s been brilliant!!

We also swear by the busy book type tiny character toys (think I’ve Disney princesses, paw patrol, frozen, etc). As mine will play make believe games for ages! Post it notes with some drawings of castles and houses extend the play into windows and the spaces around you and are v easy to clean up.

Hoping some of this helps. It is hard. But it’s also purposeful. And as long as you remember to think about the things you need too!!! It’ll be what it is xx

I have done Australia with a 6 month old and a 3 year old. All in one go with a 6 hour lay over. It was an endurance test for sure . For the long flight we were in a bulkhead seat with a cot (that the baby spent all of 3 mins in!) They had left a free seat next to us but then a long legged person sat down there thinking that they’d be more comfortable- boy did they make a mistake!

I brought lots of busy book, stickers , little toys and pulled them out as surprises all along the way. Same with snacks. I planned the time really well, so that they watched enough screen to be happy to not too much to go crazy.

After 8 hours they had a little meltdown though but mostly it was fine. It will be tough with a child on your knee. Maybe take turns sleeping. I personally got no sleep anyway because one or other of the children needed me at all times.

Yes, but when we went to New Zealand, it was 32 hours door to door. That is very different from 8 hours.

Actually, when you become parents, there are lots of ways your life changes. So many of them are for the better, but, some of the changes mean you can't always do what you just fancy doing, because it really isn't practical or in any way sensible. Pretending otherwise is nuts.

I’ve done it, and yes, it was tricky, but also it was just 24 hours out of my whole life. Well, 48 with the return. We took a surprise bag so the eldest could pick things out of it every hour; just little toys but it helped. Lots of snacks. We cat napped as much as possible. The hardest part was when everyone else seemed to be asleep and we were not! This was years ago and you know what I remember most? The amazing trip, not the flights. You’ll get through it. I hope you have a wonderful time.

We did a slightly longer flight when my eldest was 23 months similarly to see a family member who we couldn’t have seen otherwise. I was dreading it but she was actually great.

As well as agreeing with the tip for one parent to do early boarding to set up while the other keeps the toddler off till the last minute, it’s worth trying to get to the airport early. We checked in early and they asked us if we were travelling with a lap infant, then said there was actually one free seat so they’d block it out for us, and gave us a row of three. It did make a difference so may even be worth politely asking when you check in.

Also with snacks bringing some “non snacky” foods - she actually got bored of breadsticks etc and wanted proper food quite early on, so the way back we packed more sandwiches, veg muffins, cheese cubes, berries etc.

It will be fine, ignore the drama on this thread. Bassinets are a good idea if you can. My biggest tips having done the full Uk-NZ with two under two: lots of changes of clothing for you and them. Get some of those clippy cords and clip anything important to the seatback or armrest or you are forever trying to find things on the floor which is near impossible. Stickers/post its are a great idea. Get quiet toys for the toddler and have happier neighbours. If you can get hold of an ipad it will honestly transform your flight. It’s the interactivity of it not just the watching that makes the difference. Get the special toddler padded headphones. Those scooter carryon bags look amazing but definitely bring a cheap fold up stroller. And assume you will have a front pack/sling for baby. Finally, be kind to your husband. I always want to divorce at the end of a long flight but it does go away!! Enjoy NZ

You really have no idea

When we flew with a 6 month old it was 13 hours from London to Singapore, we mucked about at o for three hours before our flight to Auckland, which was 10 hours.

Land in Auckland, it took us an hour to get through customs/biosecurity. Another hour
at Auckland airport whilst we connect to Christchurch. We get to Christchurch, MIL picks us up and by golly I have never been so pleased to see my MIL and then we have a two hour drive to PILs /dps hometown.

I’d choose an overnight flight. I recently flew solo with my 22-months old and it really helped that he was asleep during the flight, I don’t think I could have contained him otherwise. Also make sure you regularly swap with your husband having the toddler on your lap. I flew solo on a 2.5h flight and even then I had pains everywhere afterwards from holding my toddler on my lap while he slept, I somehow underestimated that holding 13kg even while sitting down is hard.

- the blow up seat extenders are the best for long haul travel: is it possibly worth buying one second hand just in case you ended up with more space?

For info some airlines don't allow certain styles/brands of seat extenders or similar devices.

It's worth checking the airline's T&Cs before planning on using one.

Well obviously... And this isn't something we 'fancy' doing. I was asking for practical advice for travelling with children - something that thousands of people do everyday, all the time - responses like yours are incredibly unhelpful and unwarranted.

You're totally right - great advice on not snacky food, thank you!

I’ve flown long haul with little ones. Make sure you get a bulkhead seat with one of those cot thingies. Set up the toddler on your lap for a marathon of TV watching. Your little one should sleep ok if they’re normally a good sleeper in my experience. Maybe trial a phenergan beforehand to knock him (toddler) out if it’s an overnight flight. Hope for the best.

Eta. I’ll bet I’ve done more long haul flights with kids (and without) than anyone else on this thread. I’ve actually been disturbed… like barely any sleep disturbed ONCE in all my years of flying. I know I’m a sample size of one but it’ll probably be fine. Hellish, in many ways…but fine.

And when the toddler is tired and grouchy, then what ?

The problem is that it is not just an overnight flight but a whole day of flying. Both mine (even the active one) slept on the overnight flight to Singapore but were awake for the following 10 hour flight. One was happy to sit on my lap for the 2nd flight and play quietly/look at books etc (this was before screens), one just wanted to walk around/climb on everything - and of course fell asleep in the car almost as soon as we left the airport as by then she had been awake for 12+ hours.

I honestly think it depends on your toddler and you will know better than any of us what she is like.

I agree with others that the 3 month old should be much easier. Just make sure you have plenty of nappies!