Tips for long flight from UK - New Zealand with a 21 month old and 3 month old?!

[PinkOrchard]

Hi all!

We're about to book flights to New Zealand to go and visit my brother for the first time since he moved in 2024.. Wanting to go before my eldest is 2 (end of this year) because of the cost of flights etc - any practical tips for travelling this distance with a 21 month old and a 3 month old?! (Tbh, I'm not worried about the 3 month old - it's the toddler I worry about haha!).

We're stopping off on the way for a couple of days to break the journey up / try to fight the jet lag etc, but any practical advice for the actual flights? Or anyone able to share their experiences so I can mentally prepare at least 🤣

I've seen the usual pack more snacks than you think, don't be precious about screen time (don't have an iPad but happy to let her watch films/TV etc), bring busy boards etc..

Getting the toddler their own seat isn't really an option either as it costs an extra £1,400 which we just haven't got spare (and it's one of those situations where if we don't go now, there'll be 101 reasons to put it off and I worry we'll never go and I'd like to visit him at least once!).

Thanks in advance!

I’ve done London to Sydney lots of times with my DC, pretty much annually from when the youngest was 7 months old (except Covid year). Thankfully they are now 9 and 13 and seasoned flyers! My tips:

Spare clothes for you and your DH as well as the DC in your carry on luggage. Chances of being thrown up on are high, as well as drinks food, etc being spilt in you. Be careful not to go overboard with snacks as it increases the chances of being thrown up on. And keep the throw up bags close!

My DC hated the airplane meals, so although you should order the kids meals, I’d take not just snacks but enough food for the whole flight of stuff you know the toddler will eat. Eg we stocked up on Pret ham and cheese sandwiches at Heathrow. Still do, actually, as DS age 9 still won’t eat the plane food.

DH and I would take turns letting DC nap across their own seat and ours and stand at the back of the plane for hours at a time reading our kindles. That may be harder if you don’t have a seat for the toddler, but nevertheless I strongly recommend kindles with some very easy reading for you both, because it means that you can read with the backlit screen standing at the back of the plane in the dark even when it’s in night cycle.

Comfortable child sized headphones with an adapter to make them fit into the plane entertainment system, as little kids find the free earbud headphones hard.

Cheap tablet pre loaded with Bluey, Peppa Pig, whatever. On board entertainment is getting worse and worse (I assume airlines are cutting costs because so many people just bring their own entertainment on phones tablets anyway). Again with headphones that fit your toddler. When my oldest was little you used to get virtually every movie Pixar had ever made on the flight, the last two years we’ve all be really unimpressed with how little there was.

DC lived buying a few magazines at WH Smith at the airport.

Get to the airport massively early to make absolutely sure they haven’t changed your seat allocation. When we had a baby, we booked through Flight Centre to be sure of getting the seat with a bassinet. Some airlines will guarantee that at booking, some won’t. flight Centre will know.

Find a less busy spot at the airport to let your toddler run around a bit before boarding.

Good luck! As PP have said, it will be somewhere between tough and horrible, but either way it will be worth it!

I get it. I'm a frequent traveller to East Asia and often step off the plane direct into an appointment. I value that flight time to sleep, prep for the appointment, or to kick start the timezone acclimatisation process. There is nothing worse than filing in to your seat at boarding and seeing a young family in the bulkhead seats as you know you will have an disrupted flight - wherever you are sat. But I was in that bulkhead seat years ago, so I know the struggle that the following 12 hours holds for them, too.

A reduced rate for the end of row seat sounds great. Definitely one for the airline to be petitioned about. But an eye mask and earplugs are the most effective and available immediately.

They will probably be in a 4 seat bulkhead with two other parents, don't worry.

What airline are you flying?

Some airlines allow you to block a seat for a fee, which is not as much as a full fare child's ticket. (Obvs airline dependant)

Perhaps you could look at that and then book the 3 seats on the window side.

can’t your brother just visit you instead?!

I flew London to NZ (Auckland then domestically to Wellington) and back with transit through LA last Aug with a 6 month old. Mix of bassinet and lap. Although all lap on return Wellington > Auckland then Auckland > LA > LHR as they had no bassinet. Our transit times were only a few hrs so did the whole journey in one without staying over anywhere. And LA was hell.

It was fine. I didn't get to watch any TV as she kept pulling the headphones out and she ate all my food 😂. But apart from that it wasn't actually that difficult. You just get on with it if it's a journey you want to make. We got seats with loads of space without extra charge with BA, Air NZ and United.

I did end up with lasting pain in my collarbone (still suffer now) from carrying her around all the airports in a sling, as well as a non wheely flight bag (rookie error) so I would say to minimise the strain on your body by using wheels for everything where possible!

Not to sound contrary and doom-mongery, but flying with a 6 month old for any length of time is a million times easier than a 21 month old!!! Babies want to be in your arms. Toddlers want... other things 😁

good luck @PinkOrchard , you are committed so I'm sure it will be fine. People do worse things every day.

Yes, 6 month olds are heavy noise machines which require carrying but can be pacified, whereas a 21 month old can run, speak, has their own mind that they can express, and is even heavier than a 6 month old on the lap - especially when writhing and wiggling about.

@Stripyduckwak I'm glad you survived the ordeal. I had an 8kg 6 month old which gave me shoulder pain for quite a period, so I understand your situation.

I’ve done longer flights with similar age kids. Maybe one or twice a year. Amazingly it has always been absolutely fine. One incident of vomiting but it wasn’t a problem thanks to complete spare outfit in a zippy bag and an extremely helpful air steward.

I always bought all their own food and then if they used the airline food that was great but I didn’t rely on it.
I used to get new toys but nothing wildly exciting. Nothing noisy and nothing that would roll. Fuzzy felt was a big hit as they can stick it anywhere.
Can you at least afford premium economy? If not get to the airport early and see if they can block off a
seat next to you you. If it’s not a full flight they might be really accommodating.
Also, check and see what the cost to upgrade is when you are at the airport sometimes there are deals to be had. Some airlines allow you to bid for upgrades beforehand so no harm in trying a really low bid.
My kids used to sleep a lot and just be lulled into a
Very zoned out state. You want them slightly bored and not excited. I didn’t ever let mine walk around too much either. Not sure if you eldest will be walking but you don’t want them thinking they can explore the whole plane.
In the old days we could drug them up
a little which was amazing as I could give them a little dose then they would sleep but now that’s frowned upon. I didn’t used to give them anything but my paediatrician was shocked when he found out I didn’t give them anything - it was an anti histamine drug but I can’t remember the name.
I expect people would be outraged by that now but it worked brilliantly as it just made them
a little sleepy. I wouldn’t do it now though.

Benadryl! I didn't want to be the one to say it 😁

Well yes, but OP does also have a 3 month old which is why I shared my experience of doing it with my 6mo and said about the physical issues of carrying her in the sling.

Travelling alone with an 18 month old (to say goodbye to my terminally ill sister) taught me a few things

1. Singapore airport has a swimming pool. Use this to exhaust them
2. Talk to your local pharmacist about what will reliably knock a toddler out. This was a Mumsnet hint that saved my life. I kept her awake till Singapore then swimming pool, pyjamas, sleeping bag and a done of anti histamines. She slept till an hour out of Auckland

Put luggage tags on precious teddies. Mine had my email address so if it got en route I had a hope of recovering it. Don’t panic if you fall asleep and wake up to find them gone. Mine was always in the galley being fed apples and KitKats by the wonderful cabin crew.

Fuzzy Felt books were endlessly entertaining. As were other passengers. Don’t underestimate how accommodating people can be.

Finally when you get to NZ keep them up as late as possible, preferably outside. Exposure to UV helps reset the body clock.

Best tip we ever got was if your airline offers early boarding with young children, the parent with the baby should go on with as much stuff as they can also carry to get settled, whilst the parent with the toddler should be the very last to get on the plane - let them close the door behind you! That extra time in the departure lounge letting them run around is precious: it can take up to an hour sometimes to board the large planes and that is adding to the boredom time for the wee one. Just make sure the ground crew know you are there.

A box of tissues is a great toy: we flew Malaysian and they gave us one to help with messes, but DD (11 months) took great, and quiet, pleasure pulling all the tissues out, which we then put back in and she did it again.

A change of clothes for all of you - on the flight back DD had an explosion that went everywhere (luckily I had put her in DH's seat when he went to the loo). Now I know how an airline seat can come apart - we needed a new base and seatbelts 🤮 But if one of us had been holding her we would also have been covered.

I agree a stopover is good with small children. Getting to Singapore then realising you have to get straight back on another plane is awful. A hotel with a pool where you can all chill for a couple of nights before facing the second leg is much more pleasant. Our kids have many happy memories of getting off planes and into a balmy pool.

Who are you flying with? Some airlines are better at guaranteeing bassinets than others. They will usually prioritise younger babies so at 3 months you probably have a good chance but if you don’t have airline status and others do you risk losing it last minute. Also you say you will use your brother’s airline lounge access, you need to understand the limits of lounge pass gifting (eg Qantas have just totally changed the rules, we can no longer gift lounge passes to people who are not on the same flight as us), some lounges require a pass per person, including children, unless the people flying have airline status.

Flights these days are usually full BUT DD came to meet us in Paris this week on a flight via Singapore we assumed would be full with the whole “avoid the Middle East thing” and she had three seats to herself on both the SYD-SIN and SIN- CDG leg so you might get lucky! If not I think all you can do is be upfront with your neighbours about trying not to inconvenience them, you need to have the toddler sitting with whoever is on the isle seat rather than beside someone else. As a parent of three who has done many long haul flights I have a lot of sympathy with parents flying with children but if you let the child on your lap spill into my economy seat on a flight that long I will be reclaiming every last centimetres of my space every time.

As everyone has said, infant should be pretty easy and toddler could well be grim BUT it will end.

I've done the trip pretty much every year since DS1 was a baby, he's 15 now. We've done a mix of a 12 hour stopover in Singapore with airport hotel/butterfly garden/a swim or two and a longer stopover and honestly both have their attractions - but don't forget that Singapore will be hot and humid, and dealing with jet lag in a hotel room is a special kind of pain. If you're staying with your brother or in an apartment/house it will be much easier to dr with jet lag if you can get up and go to a different room with one child at 3am.

When we go, we usually do a 12-hour layover in Singapore on the way there and a couple of days on the way back, or just long layovers both ways.

Both my kids absolutely loved novelty shaped sticky notes at that age. You can draw on them, decorate the seat with them, decorate your parent with them and peeling them off the pack takes a good amount of time and concentration for little fingers.

We also found a tablet app which was just basically bursting colourful bubbles which we would never have considered in normal times but was mesmerising for toddlers.

Hi, I did Dublin to NZ a few years ago alone with my kids who were then 5 and 2. Both had seats and were fascinated with the onboard entertainment. Try to bring a foldaway travel buggy which you can keep as hand luggage, I had a GB Pockit, it was a godsend. Lots of snacks and calpol for sore ears. Blankets and PJ’s so they know it’s sleepy time, try to book your seats close to bathrooms for convenience. Keep them awake before boarding and they should drift off to sleep. And good luck!! It’s a beautiful country!

Please don't.

Ohh that's a great tip, thank you!! Totally right about wanting the toddler to run around as much as possible!

And yes good point on spare clothes! We learnt that the hard way when travelling to Greece last year with my eldest (who was 5 months old then). Poonami all over my husband - luckily we hadn't checked in yet so he could grab a shirt from the suitcase but it's a good reminder, thank you!

🤣 are you going to be on the same flight?!
As if we should stop doing things because we have children!

Good point on travel buggy - thank you! I'll check it out & good suggestions re pjs & blanket. Hadn't thought of that, so thank you!

I feel sorry for the person that will be sat in the third seat 😂
Honestly I'd save up and get the toddler their own seat. Depending on the config of the plane you'll likely have the whole row then.

Book an aisle seat and a window seat, most people won’t book a single middle seat and it’s often left empty.

Good point! I'll definitely look into that - hoping to go with Singapore Airlines I think!

Price up NZ air they do sky sofas so it turns into a part bed. https://www.airnewzealand.co.uk/economy-skycouch

Thanks everyone for comments - well, the helpful ones with actual practical advice! (not the ones who tell me to save up when I've already said it isn't an option or make sarcastic comments about feeling sorry for other passengers - gotta love some classic MN advice 🤣)

Already made a very helpful list of survival tips, so thank you!! ✈️