13m old suddenly hysterical at bed time

[PockerMaus]

My 1 year old (13 months) has started being hysterical at bed time. We've been in a great routine since about 8m where we do bedtime and then we put him in his cot and he usually settles himself within 5-10 mins with maybe a bit of whining/going to sleep noises but no crying etc. I would usually either sit on the rocking chair in his room until he falls asleep or sometimes just leave him to it.

The last week he has been hysterical. Standing up and refusing to sit/lie down once he's in his cot and screaming inconsolably. He did this until about 10 last night (normal bed time around 7). We obviously went in and checked on him, gave him a cuddle etc and rocked him for a bit but as soon as we tried to put him back in his cot he repeated the same cycle. He eventually fell asleep I think because he was so knackered.

He has just started taking his first steps this week so I don't know if this is related? He's absolutely fine in the day and he goes to nursery happily without crying at drop off so not sure if it's separation anxiety related.

If anyone has had this please tell me it's just a phase? Or is there something you found that helped? I have a baby due in November so really worried this could be ongoing and it'll be a nightmare at bedtime with both of them.

I don't think it's a case of being under tired as he doesn't sleep a lot in the day and has always slept great overnight. He is rubbing his eyes etc around half 6 and is very calm and sleepy just before we pop him in his cot.

Sleep isn't linear. And it's unusual for a baby to just be left to it and accept crying for 5-10 minutes every night. Babies do grow and get older and smarter, he probably realizes he's just being left alone and is getting anxious. It could also be molars (how many teeth does he have?) or an ear infection, try calpol before bed and give him all the cuddles he needs. With my boys, I found they actually needed me more at the toddler stage than at the baby stage.

Yeah he doesn't normally cry which is why it has kinda thrown us. I do give him cuddles etc but I also can't sit there for hours with him and let that become the only way he settles, it's just not feasible when I have two as I have to solo parent a lot. He was a terrible sleeper for the first 6 months (until I stopped BF) so I think I'm a bit scarred from that tbh and fear my next son will be the same!

It's horrible seeing him get so upset. Tonight he did it again and I gave him a cuddle and just laid him back down and kept patting him for about 10 mins which seemed to work :) i guess he just needed to know I was still there!

He has 8 teeth ATM so our other thoughts was maybe molars. Although he doesn't have any other symptoms other than this hysterical crying at bed time. He sleeps fine once he's fallen asleep so I would have thought if it was teeth it would be bugging him through the night too.

Were your boys close together in age? Just wondering how you found bedtime when they were at different stages etc? Any tips?

Molars can sort of come up under the gums for weeks and bother them, so it could still be that, on top of the normal anxieties. I found sleep very up and down between ages 1 and 2, I think they start to get real FOMO when you leave the room. It's why we had a 4 year age gap, I'm afraid. When the oldest started sleeping solidly and consistently (20 months, I still remember it lol) I wanted a bit of freedom before going again, which worked for us, so I don't have any tips but I'm sure more knowledgeable MNers will come along.

Sounds like the patting worked well, which is amazing! 10 minutes is very quick. They really do change all the time, so I wouldn't be too anxious of setting "bad habits", do whatever you need to do. Toddlers are very, very emotional creatures.