9 month old sleep

[CoralQuail]

My son is 9 months old and I’m feeling exhausted! On a good night, he is still waking 4 times a night. He’s breastfed so a lot of the time, he just latches on for a couple of minutes and is back to sleep. Because of this, we have been co-sleeping which I do love. However, he is a wriggler! I’m finding myself lying awake for hours after there’s a leg or an arm in my side.
He does start the night in his cot, and I do try to put him back in after a wake but I find he will just wake up an hour later. So, the bed sharing has just become easier 🙈
I feel like maybe feeding to sleep is the problem? & He can’t fall back to sleep independently? But then not feeding him doesn’t sit right with me? I feel like if he needs comfort or is hungry they’re both just as important?
I was chatting to someone who said they had a similar thing with their baby. They let them cry for a couple of nights and it broke the cycle. Does anyone have any experience of this? I hate the thought of leaving him to cry but if it’s short term thing and we can reduce the night waking to even two times, I’d be super grateful.
or any other suggestions on how to achieve less frequent wakes?
I do fear this is something I just have to ride out? If so, tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel and one day, he will magically sleep for more than 3 hours at a time!

There is a compromise between co-sleeping and feeding to sleep and leaving him to cry - could you put a mattress by the cot and stay with him, patting his back and settling him in the cot? Or if he's wanting to feed, could your partner take over for a few nights? Once he's settling to sleep in his cot, you can gradually withdraw.

Whats his usual schedule? I’d be looking to cut day sleep down and later bedtime. I’d also recommend a floor bed in their own room, then they can spend the whole night in there but you join them.

I’m in your exact position with my daughter. Following for advice!

It sounds like you are his sleep association, he only knows how to go to sleep when feeding. So when he wakes he recreates what helped him get to sleep the first time and goes back to sleep.

You could stick with the feeding to sleep but just try to extend how much of the night he's in his cot. You'll need to feed him just the same but he won't be keeping you awake in-between. I've never co-slept but I would breastfeed my DS to sleep at that age and then he'd sleep in his cot, did that until around 17 months when he night weaned.

Alternatively you could work on him getting to sleep without breastfeeding and then he'll probably wake less as he'll have a different way of getting back to sleep.

Both my boys were breastfed to sleep,oldest until almost 3 and currently BF my 2 year old. They both started sleeping through the night around 11/12 months with some rough weeks here and there until 18 months, when teething. Once molars all came through they stopped waking at night entirely, even though I was still BF to sleep for night and nap time. My 2 year old sleeps 10.5 hours a night.

However, I did move both to their rooms around 6/7 months and I found that reduced night wakings. The fact they had to cry for 1-2 minutes (it obviously took me time to wake up and walk over there and I made a point of not rushing) seemed to make a difference. It was a pain, as I found it hard to go back to sleep because of all the back and forth, but it did genuinely reduce the number of wakes. I only cosleep if they're sick.

Edited to say that I sent DH for any wakes before 1am as well. He rocked them back to sleep as I knew they couldn't be hungry so early in the night.