Very challenging six month old...

[FluentLemonPlayer]

My six month old baby has been very challenging and very unhappy since two weeks of age. I can honestly say we haven't had a good day since two weeks old...

From weeks 2-10 he grizzled lots, could only be settled upright and over the shoulder during the day but went down well at night. In this time we saw osteopaths, tongue tie practitioners, lactation consultant, GP, tried gaviscon etc.
We got Omeprazol for silent reflux at ten weeks and saw a slight improvement, he could finally be held flat and cradled. It felt like a miracle... I was beginning to see the light!
At thirteen weeks he began screaming at the breast and waking every two hours at night. We started Co sleeping.
His silent reflux worsened at four months and increased Omeprazol dosage, no effect. Feeding aversion rapidly worsening.
We've since moved to highest possible dosage of zoton (lansoprazole) due to trapped wind caused by Omeprazole. I'm breastfeeding. Dairy free and have tried various hypoallergenic formulas.

He's miserable all day. He has random, unpredictable meltdowns. He loudly hums/groans during day. He has a very low tolerance for his buggy (stroller seat upright, random meltdowns) and carriers. He hates the car seat. He screams when put down. He has a meltdown after five mins on his playmat with me. Changing clothes and nappies have very recently become unbearable. He'll breastfeed for three minutes or so and throw himself off the breast, arching his back, looking away, but doesn't seem in pain. Takes max 1.5oz from a bottle.
Hospital and paeds have told us to keep feeding and ride it out...
He's only happy if I carry him on my hip all day. He doesn't back and forth coo/babble and you need to work hard for a smile. He'll coo to himself when he wakes in the morning.
He's intensely challenging in all aspects, feeding (milk) , play, sleep (all naps are contact) , daytime and we're house bound with him.
I'm beginning to suspect he may be neurodivergent. He's extremely restless when sitting with him in your arms and is dying to move/crawl. We've recently started solids and he's enjoying this. Husband thinks he's hungry and a velcro baby. Ultimately, we just want to help him (and us!) be less miserable. Parenting him has felt inherently different to my friends experiences. We're living on eggshells with him all day. Any help/advice/solidarity so appreciated.

Sending you lots of sympathy too @Laureng1991 It is really hard having a high need baby and I think only people who have been through it truly understand.

I would have pushed for more help sooner. We are just at the point of waiting for the diagnosis. But there was SALT, dietitian, extra support at school and I was still fibbed off for years. They make it seem as if you’re imagining it.
They’re 9 now and still wakes me repeatedly in the night and contact sleeps.
Ive a second child a couple of years younger and as they grow and develop it becomes more obvious of the milestones the eldest isn’t hitting. And it’s not academic milestones, fine with those, it’s the smaller ones.

I don’t that there is much I could have done differently when he was a baby to be honest other than just roll with it.

If it helps although he is ND and diagnosed at 3 he was actually a super chilled out little boy growing up and now as a teenager. The baby phase was hard but he gives me less bother than his NT brother!

I had a similarly intense baby who would only ever settle when held upright on your shoulder or in a sling, suspected silent reflux and latch issues, lagging weight gain, he had a tongue tie snipped, I tried eliminating foods in case it was a dairy/soy allergy, saw a lactation consultant etc. Would wake up instantly crying like his default setting was unhappy (although we did get smiles and an early giggle so it wasn't all bad). But compared to my easy, chilled firstborn it was a huge shock.

He started trying to inchworm across the floor at less than 5 months old, and was crawling at 6 months. The more physical abilities he has developed, and the more able he has become generally, including communication wise, the happier he has become. He's 2 years old now and quite the handful - big tantrums, very strong opinions on things - but that describes a lot of 2 year olds! He's also a happy, joyful little boy along with it. Just the biggest and best personality ever. I think he hated being a baby quite honestly! Some kids are just built to move. Not saying that's the whole situation for you but just offering a bit of reassurance. No idea whether my toddler is ND, he's meeting all his milestones easily but he's a pretty intense little character so who knows. But he's happy and doing wonderfully either way.

Hang on in there x

Is he sitting up? How is his weight gain? Babies also drain the breast more efficiently and quickly as they grow.