Parents of three, what income feels comfortable rather than just getting by?

[SnappyTiger]

People who are parents of 3...how much income is enough without feeling like you are 'just getting by' ....stupid question in this economy I'm aware but I just need some context on going from 2 to 3 and some of the realities I may not have considered. I have a 4 bed home so that isn't an issue.

Surely it depends on the age? School age children are cheaper than a child at nursery, a hungry growing teen or most expensive of all (in my experience) a young person at university.

Yes I think I'm yet to hit the expensive years...children are 3 and 5 currently!

Yes wait until they are teens!

I’m a lone mum of 3 incl a set of twins so admittedly that changes things financially! - my income is circa £75k and that’s doable but tight - £1400 a month is eaten up in before and after school childminder (that’s the same as my mortgage). I really need to move to a 4 bed but id need another £100k on my mortgage minimum. My car is 10 years old and paid off. I don’t receive any benefits or child benefit and no CMS from the dad.

Our family circumstances are slightly more complex as also have grown up children but on the basis of just the younger 3 with current housing costs etc, I would say about 5k take home a month to feel quite comfortable but 4K to get by modestly comfortably with no debts

The uni years were expensive, especially as one did a masters, so that was unexpected.

But this is how long is a piece of string?
What feels comfortable to others may not to you.
Do you own or rent ? If you rent do you want to own ?
Is your car big enough for three seats ?
You’ll have childcare for many more years yet.
As they get older they may want to do clubs.
School trips.
What sort of holidays do your family take ?
Will they all go to Uni? MN is obsessed with paying for uni - obviously not every child goes.
Cars ? House deposits?
etc etc etc. Every family is different.

Our household income is 35k roughly. Mortgage is £660 ! Month. We're comfortable. One day trip a month roughly, foreign holiday once every 3 years, caravan parks the rest of the time. We live very simple lives, no expensive hobbies. The kids dont do extracurriculars anymore, they prefer hanging out with friends. My teenager prefers charity shops to brand names too which helps a lot!

Unlike going from 1 to 2, youre not doubling your child outgoings, you're increasing by 50%. You start buying food in the biggest packs which works out cheaper too. Plus if you kept all the baby stuff you dont have to worry about that. Basically I didnt find the third much more expensive than the second child.

The only thing to think about is how much harder supervising 3 children is than 2. You only have 2 hands to hold theirs with. Listening to 3 children talk at the same time is quite tricky too. Plus hotels etc are all set up for families of 4. Having 3 kids can be more awkward. But I'd never want it any other way. 3 kids is awesome.

We vaguely contemplated a third but didn’t. Late teens now and so glad we stopped at two. Young adults nowadays need a lot of support emotionally practically and financially. We can give much more to two than spreading even thinner.

Plus hit peri menopause and the thought of caring for and supporting yet another teen feeling as I do now - no thanks! Hard to explain how differently you feel at 52 to 42.

Me and dh earn 85k the under 5 and later teen/ uni years were the tightest and during those periods we didn’t have much spare money .

3 primary age kids including twins. Take home income is 4k a month. No debts but also nothing really left over at end of the month and we live very frugally. Camping holidays in a tent, one older car, very rarely eat out, never have take aways. All meals are planned. No theatre, cinema, concerts etc. Clothes from vinted. I don't suppose it will get any easier as they get older..

This has so many variables, it’s not going to be terribly helpful.

Cost of childcare
Size of mortgage (usually based on when you bought)

are huge factors.

We have income of £97k plus £30k and find it impossible. We never go on holiday abroad, wear old clothes, have old banger cars… I don’t know what we’re doing wrong.

It really depends on your outgoings, I was a single parent to 3 children but very minimal outgoings, council house, band A council tax, owned car outright, no loans or childcare costs, capped water rates etc and managed more than comfortably on less than £16k a year, even managed to save!! Now we have a mortgage, all manner of insurances, childcare, car loans and all other manner of expenses, 2 adults and then inflation to boot and 60k doesn’t leave us any spare change

Do you have a huge mortgage/childcare bills? That will make a difference.

If your kids go to private school, that will obviously too 🤣

No private school. £1,330 ish mortgage, about £150 per month wraparound.

Depends massively on mortgage or other costs. We recently went from 3 to 4 (including twins) and plan to pay off our mortgage before oldest dc potentially go to university. Our current disposal income is manageable (4dc under 6) but uni costs on top of current mortgage would be tight.