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7yo DS constantly being argumentative

8 replies

Wrightmove · 27/07/2026 20:01

7.5yo DS argues constantly about everything and I just can't seem to do anything right. Tonight he tried to run away by opening the front door and standing outside the house.

He's always been a bit contrarian but we could usually be playful with him to get him to come along to do what we need him to do or we would set natural consequences and that would work but his attitude is just getting worse and the playfulness/turning tasks into games just doesn't work and I don't know what to do.

DH is working the next two weeks so it's just me, DS, DD(5) and DD(9 months). I ask DS and DD to get ready to go to the park so we can take baby for a nap walk and DS instantly goes no. He does get ready eventually but he's berating me while we are out about how he wants to be home playing Mario kart and how I'm the worst mother in the world (bearing in mind he's already played some in the morning)

we come back home from the park and I say he can play some Mario kart after lunch when baby is asleep but in the meantime he can read a book, play with a puzzle, draw or help me with chores. He constantly argues how he doesn't want to do any of these things, they are all boring and he just moans and whines for about 3 hours until I put baby down for her after noon nap and he gets to play.

during the time he's whining I've put on lunch, put clothes out to dry and played with DDs and also tried to do a puzzle with him which he just rolls his eyes at. I've tried to engage him in everything I do but just leave him to his whining when he says he doesn't want to do anything.

Tonight i asked him to sit and eat dinner but because he wouldn't sit, and because he was being rude and telling me I was the worst mother I told him he wouldn't get to play on his DS tomorrow at all. He had a massive strop and tried to run away. He went out of the house until I brought him back in.

It has been like this every day since school finished and I just can't cope with the emotional onslaught each day from one child. I get berated constantly all because I have time limits on the DS which I am actually quite liberal with apart from when we need to go out, have lunch etc. I like to spend time playing with the kids so don't want it on all the time but I'm happy to let him play when I'm putting baby down for a nap.

is this behaviour normal. Do 7.5yo berate their mothers?

I've told him tonight he doesn't get to play anything tomorrow because he's been very rude all day and he's just continuing being rude so I might just ban in the whole summer. I don't know how to get the balance right.

please help.

OP posts:
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SparklyBrickViper · 27/07/2026 20:09

Don’t threaten with something you won’t do.

Take away the Mario Cart.

Tell him tonight he needs to be dressed/ready to out by 10am. You don’t need to engage with his behaviour.

Sassylovesbooks · 27/07/2026 20:11

Your son doesn't get to dictate when he uses his games console or for how long, that's down to you. Personally, as he's been rude, I would take away the games console, he needs to earn, not only the games console back by doing as he's asked but the time on it too.

I would also set stricter limits, and he only goes on the console, when he behaves and does as he's been told. It's very easy for young children to become addicted to gaming, so it would be beneficial for him to have better boundaries.

You need to stick to your guns. Yes, he'll moan, complain and generally be unpleasant but he'll learn, even if it's the hard way!

ShetlandishMum · 27/07/2026 20:14

Boundries. No more gaming this week. He won't be happy but that's it. Lots to do which is much better at his age.

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Givemeausernamepls · 27/07/2026 20:23

I’d put in place stronger boundaries and expectations.

Reduce access to the computer if you think this so causing the issue. Get it right now or teen years be hell.

Scaryspicer · 27/07/2026 20:29

I have an 8 year old ds, honestly the answer is to take it away completely (for at least a week if not indefinitely)
I found even a little bit of time on his switch made him behave worse, we got rid about 6 months ago (and YouTube kids too) and he has been a different child completely.
obviously it was hard at first, but we held firm and we’re so glad we did.
We haven’t banned screen time all together, he is allowed normal tv but not gaming or YouTube kids (Netflix, bbc iplayer etc is fine) but he’s not fussed really, it doesn’t cause the same change in personality in our experience.

Scaryspicer · 27/07/2026 20:33

*also thwre is no way I would tolerate him speaking to me like that, you need consequences and you need to stick to them. We take away toys as our consequence, not the switch as we explained we didn’t take that away because of his behaviour but because scientists found that it wasn’t healthy for young developing brains to use them, and he can have them back when he is older; we said it was our fault not his so that he didn’t feel like it was a punishment.

Wrightmove · 27/07/2026 21:54

Thanks all. I should add that I've only been liberal with the games just since the school holiday started otherwise he only plays for an hour in the weekend.

I think the answer is just to take it away and I like @Scaryspicer's suggestions that scientists say it's not healthy for young developing brains so it doesn't seem like a punishment

OP posts:
Bananacrepewithnuts · 27/07/2026 22:03

Some kids just can't handle video games (my 7 yo included).
These games put him in a bad mood and he doesn't want to get off them etc.
I rue the day we ever let him play video games. I hate them.
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