My 6 year old is so naughty!

[loverrrr]

6 yo DD, currently pregnant with another girl so appreciate there are some big changes happening. Her end of year report from school was absolutely glowing but at home she is so naughty. She doesnt listen to anything I ask, bedtime is a nightmare & she talks back to us. Can anyone give me any specific examples of things I could try to improve this? At the moment I am doing 3 strikes & she loses something- usually treats the following day. I wouldnt say that method is particularly working. Thankyou!

at that age, you can insist she stays in her room at bedtime and reads or listen to audiobooks. Then go to sleep when she wants to.

Thankyou for replying! How do you actually insist? My DD will repeatedly come out of her room & not sure how to stop her!

She's little and blowing off steam.

I always remember one advice I read on here: imagine how much courage it takes them to stand up to us who are so much bigger and more powerful.

Have you tried pushing back bedtime? I am always shocked how early some kids are put to bed, when they are obviously not ready to sleep at all.

She goes to bed at 8, usually asleep by 9.30 but that hour or so is crazy! I think you are right that shes blowing off steam but its exhausting for me! Does anyone use a punishment/ or reward system that works?

Whenever she gets something nice tie it into good behaviour, eg you’re having this magazine because you followed instructions this morning, you’re getting the ice Lolly because you did great tidying up today. This is intermittent reinforcement - they keep on doing the good stuff as they don’t know when the reward will come. Like slot machine!

Thankyou, I will try that!

Try a sticker chart. Set out the ground rules eg "when it's bed time tonight if you don't call mummy, you get a sticker. If you get 7 nights of stickers you get a toy".

Reward over punishment if punishment isn't working.

Also make as many consequences as possible instant.

Thankyou!

Depends when she gets up it might be too late and try earlier.

Alsi if getting up gets her more attention she’ll do it as you effectively reward it. First time “it’s bedtime back to bed”, second time “bedtime”, third and later no words just lead her back to her bed and ignore.

I’m not sure 3 strikes is helpful. Essentially you are giving her permission to repeat the bad behaviour and she knows you won’t do anything until she does it a 3rd time so that’s great from her perspective “mum is saying my boundary pushing is ok”. I would rethink this , set out consequences and carry through as soon as the bad behaviour is evident.

As an earlier poster has suggested this can be reinforced with linking good things with good behaviour I.e. you stayed in your room last night so you can choose what we are going to do today and give her 2 choices or because ……. You can choose a comic when we go shopping later .

You might need to pull her closer during the day, so she’s had “enough” of you at night. She’s only 6. We forget that 6 is so small. She has a new sister coming, lots is going to change. Lots of big bear hugs in the run up to bed time. Make sure her brain is tired as well as her body. Give her chance to talk to you before bed.