Split nights when dropping nap

[PotillyPoss]

2.5 year old had been fighting sleep at bedtime for months. We tried 7pm bedtime and got very early wakes. 7.30pm bedtime, took her ages to get to sleep. 8pm bedtime, she was asleep a bit quicker but ended up having to wake her up in the mornings. Bedtime got more difficult again so we cut the nap to 30 mins and bedtime got better. Then she started refusing the nap altogether.

Now she's still refusing the nap and is having split nights. We'd been doing 7pm bedtimes with no nap but she was overtired by 7pm so last night we did 6.30pm bedtime which seemed just right. Still had a split night (about 1.5 hours) but slept until 7am and seems less tired today.

We've had the odd 10-15 minute car nap but finding it hard to gauge bedtime with a short nap. She is incredibly difficult to read in terms of sleep cues!

She's handling the lack of day time sleep very well. We have a rest after lunch but lots of activity throughout the day and only an occasional meltdown. But how long do we carry on like this with the split nights? She's only getting about 10 hours in 24, down from about 11.5. Do we push through with dropping the nap?

What happens if you do an 8pm bedtime as you were doing previously (and still don't give her a nap). I have an almost 2.5 year old who has an 8pm bedtime, I've experimented with giving her earlier ones but she either won't go to sleep or has split nights. She still naps but has occasionally skipped a day, we stayed with the usual 8pm bedtime and it was fine

@Janeykat on an occasional day she'd be fine but she'd never make it to 8pm with no naps. 7.30pm is a reasonable bedtime for her with no naps in terms of daily sleep but that extra hour is a lot to ask of her when she couldn't even make it to 7pm without being overtired. Realistically I think we're aiming for too much sleep with the early bedtimes, just don't know how to adjust it!

With the 8pm bedtime why were you waking her in the morning? It sounds like you’re describing being with her in the daytime so why not just allow her to go to bed that bit later if she goes much easier and allow her a little extra in the morning?

@Honeyhonayboo I work. But also, sleeping much past 7 would mean she didn't nap at all so on my days off I'd have to weigh up which was worse! Obviously now would be fine with her not napping anyway but we're way off that being my only issue with her sleep

I’d persevere with no nap. Hopefully this is just an adjustment phase.

At this age my son napped on some but not all days, and once he wasn’t in cot he only napped in buggy or car

Rather than a specific bedtime I'd work it out in hours. So on a good night if she sleeps 11.5 hours and she woke at 7am that Morning, add 11.5 hours and get her to sleep by 6:30pm.

I'd work on stopping the split nights and whatever bedtime and wake up time that lands on then adjust it gradually just 15 mins at a time until it's a time you're happy with.

You might also need to give her a little strategic nap on the days when she's really not had enough sleep to prevent the early wakes. Dropping the nap is a tricky phase but so much easier once it's gone.

@ThatMintMember Sounds sensible. I'm not sure if it's just my tired brain but I can't work out your timings. Why would I add 11.5 hours wake time to 11.5 hours sleep? Do you mean 12.5 hours wake time?

She was crashing yesterday afternoon so we went out in the car and she got 10 minutes. No split night!! I'm not sure what time she woke up but she got 10.5 hours sleep at best. A step in the right direction and I'm delighted at no split night 😊 She did fight going to sleep last night though so wasn't asleep until nearly 8pm. Think we'll try an earlier car nap today

Sorry for the confusion, I was also sleep deprived yesterday! Yes, sorry I meant 12.5 hours. My son is almost 4 and around 12 hours from wake up works well for him so very straightforward to work out haha. Just need to figure out the perfect amount of sleep for your little one.

That's great that there was no split night last night! That little nap must have just taken the edge off the tiredness. When they're dropping the nap even a small nap can push bedtime back quite a lot. If my son napped now I think he'd be awake until midnight!

I had this with my 3 year old when dropping naps! Thankfully, only lasted a couple of weeks and he went back to sleeping normally (and indeed a bit later in the morning!) He goes down at 7-7.30pm and is awake between 6.30-7am.

Don't overly sweat it - also they may be hungry so I offered some milk after a bit and that often helped too.

10 minutes car nap yesterday and she slept 11 hours at night which was great. 30 min car nap today as we were out this morning...

She definitely benefits from a very short nap. For a while I wasn't sure if she was genuinely dropping the nap but it seems she is. I'll be glad when it's gone!