Going back to work

[purplepuffa]

My son is 1 and I am going back to work in 2 weeks, I'm dreading it. He starts nursery next week.

I know rationally he will be fine. He's a sociable happy boy and he's so ready for nursery, he loves being around other babies and exploring etc.

But I can't help a) worrying about him and b) worrying about how tired I'm going to be.

I'm only going back 3 days a week but I'm exhausted as it is, just from looking after him. It's all been more full on than I expected if I'm honest and I am so tired.

I just can't fathom how I'm going to fit work into the mix without collapsing.

I do have a supportive DH, he's as equal a parent as we can considering he works full time, but he's knackered too from a stressful job and gets back late.

Not sure what I'm asking really, just any tips or advice to make the whole thing easier? Or reassurance for anyone on the other side of this? Thank you!

You’ll be ok.
I went back to work 3 days a week the week before DS was 1. (He’s nearly 18 now). He was born in September, so all the parent/baby groups we’d been going to had stopped over the summer and I was feeling quite frazzled. Going back to work was a bit of a break!

He’d done a few settling sessions at nursery, and I wasn’t worried about that. DH and I both work in construction and never had set days on who was dropping off/picking up - we decided that weekly, even daily, depending on who was working where.

I don’t remember being overly tired. I got into the habit of batch cooking at weekends & non working days to take the pressure of evenings. DS was tired at the end of the nursery day, and was usually in bed by 7, after getting in at 6, snack, bath and milk.

I really appreciated my non working days and did lots of stuff with DS - swimming, baby groups etc as well as shopping, cooking and cleaning! It was during these nursery years that I cemented some lifelong friendships with people I’d met on mat leave, who also worked/didn’t work the same days. They’ve been invaluable friends as the children have grown up and life has moved on with school, GCSEs, had partners (ours and the kids’!), death, divorce, redundancy…

A great thing about 3 days, is that we weathered a lot of illness in the time at home.

At the time my boss was a woman with late teenage children, who was very supportive, having lived my experience! She actually set me and another newish mum up with a job share, which worked really well for a few years until the organisation was restructured and our role disappeared (we were both redeployed internally).

17 years later I still don’t work full time. 32/37. Teenagers and elderly mum need me as much as toddlers!

Good luck. It’ll be fine. Like anything, you’ll get used to the new routine.

I do understand your trepidation, I really do. I was exactly the same with my DC1. You’ll cope though and actually once you’re back at work you might appreciate little things like going to the loo in peace and having a lunch break.

If your DH is around this weekend I’d try and spend some time this weekend getting ahead of the game.

Maybe sort out your outfits for the first 3 days, prepare 3 different meals for you all for the first week at least and sort out DS’ bag for the first day of Nursery and what you’re planning on him wearing once he’s there. Lots of people have a separate Nursery Wardrobe, usually from somewhere like Primark so that their other clothes don’t get ruined.

I thought motherhood suddenly became far easier once I’d clicked back into my professional life.

The anticipation is worse than actually doing it. You will be fine!

Mine loves nursery, they do a phenomenal amount of messy play and the garden has a climbing frame.

I second the recommendation about batch cooking, and for a nursery wardrobe - mine goes in a mix of Next/M&S sale bargains and hand me downs/Vinted.

Your child will catch some bugs. On your working days, your partner needs to split covering the sick days with you. Partner and I live close to work so literally split sick days in half (like today...) so we can both go in and see our teams.

You will be fine. Honestly, it’s wonderful. I found working so much easier and less exhausting than being home with a 1 year old all day.

Same here - and I'd say my job is still fast paced. But it's different. I found it quite liberating actually! Cannot fathom being a full time stay at home mum.

Thank you everyone. Batch cooking is a great tip @ExplodingSmittens and I have ordered a cheap clothing bundle on Vinted for messy play (thanks for the heads up). It does feel good to get a few things ready, feel a bit more in control.

I guess I'm looking forward to recovering a bit of my identity in a way @Herewegoagain85 - I couldn't be a full time stay at home mum either - just also a bit nervous.

I know he'll love nursery though and it is a nice one with a lovely garden etc.

You're going back part time, that's really lucky and best of both worlds.

I had to go back at 6 months with my first, he was waking every 2 hours, and I was working 50 hours a week and breastfeeding. Still survived. Everyone was fine. Tired and in survival mode until 18 months or so. It got easier when he was 2 (which is why he got a brother at age 3 😂)

Yes, very few people find that it suits them.

This. I went back at four and five months pt each time and felt the whole parenting thing became a whole lot easier because I had a regular ‘break’ from it. That was 23 years ago and never a a single regret.

Once you go back to work and get into a routine you might find it easier back at work. I remember thinking working is a break for me. Depending on your job role though.

Working 3 days is a really nice balance. It is a change for you both and of course you will feel a little nervous about it, but as others have said, it gives you kind of a break and you may find you more refreshed than before.

Thank you, it is reassuring to hear the comments that it can actually be helpful to be at work, I can see that. I do like my job and I'm happy to be going back part time. Feeling a little better about it now. :)

I came tk say the same. It took a few months to adjust for me and DD but I feel so much better since I went back to work. I do have a desk job with some work from home though. For me it feels like a break! It has given me more energy for parenting as well.