10 month old sleep problems

[Nittynarna22]

I am getting to the limits of my sanity with my 10 month olds sleep. He goes to bed fine between 7-7.30pm after bath and a bottle but after that he wakes up screaming every 45 minutes until about 10pm then he will be up between around 2-6 times between 10pm and 7am. I breastfeed him once in the night but the other times I have to rock him to sleep otherwise my eldest (4) and husband will wake up as well.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong... With my eldest once he could settle himself to sleep at the start of the night (using Ferber method) he slept well throughout. My youngest can settle fine but keeps waking! Do I need to do Ferber method in the middle of the night and everyone in the house just needs to put up with it?

Daytime naps are variable depending on whether I have both of the children but generally he has 1-2 hour nap in the morning and around 45 mins in the afternoon. Better daytime sleep does seem to help a little bit at night.

I'm not sure there is an easy solution but even some solidarity might help, I'm so tired!

I'd say he's going to bed too early given he has a decent amount of day sleep. His frequent waking in the first part of the night is showing he isn't tired enough to stay asleep. Or, cut the naps shorter if you prefer an earlier bedtime. Expecting him to sleep 2-3 hours a day and ~12 hours overnight is unrealistic (when he is waking so much, fine if he wasn't), that's right at the top end of average sleep needs for that age. I'd do 2 hours day sleep and cap his night at 11 hours. It's not about Ferber, it's about being tired enough for the night. Mine has only ever slept 11-12 hours within 24 hours.

10 months is a bitch for sleep. Mine also did the same where he learnt independent sleep at bedtime but it didn’t lead to putting himself back to sleep middle of the night, even with a feed. It was a very dark time sleep wise, but around 12 months it definitely improved (not sleeping through but sometimes til 4am then back down with a feed, other times a feed around 1am, though he’s still usually up for the day by 5am). Have you:

• make sure wake windows are long enough, especially the last one before bed? 3.5-4 hours at least.
• Agree with PP don’t expect more than 11 hours max overnight, mine rarely does more than 10.5 hours
• is bottle/feed at least half an hour pre put down? Is he definitely going down wide awake for first put down, not a bit rocked/drowsy?
• i would Ferber the first couple of wakes and see if that helps, it seems like he’s got used to being rocked back to sleep to link sleep cycles. I know you’re worried about waking others but might be worth trying for a few nights especially if it’s so soon after bedtime. He might get it more if he realises he still needs to go back to sleep by himself after the first few wakes.

Good luck! It’s grim.

Put him to bed later and give Calpol. My DS took teething really badly, we basically gave Calpol and Nurofen almost daily between 8-15 months (although he had all teeth and molars by 15 months so that was a plus), otherwise he would wake every 42 (not 45 🤣) minutes.

Thanks to all the tips and advice! The past two nights since posting this have been loads better and we've only had one wake up each night around 2-3am!

Things that I've done

• maximum day sleep of 2 hours in two separate naps
• a 3-4 hour wake window before bed
• Calpol before bed
• Calpol vapor plug in because he has a cold
• Ferber method for any wake ups before I go to bed (between 7-10pm)

Hopefully the better sleep will continue! Thanks all!