How do I bring up my husband's terrible parenting?

[TheOP2]

His boys are 10 and 13 .. When they stay he allows them to eat constant junk into the night and they hardly ever brush their teeth... Last weekend they were here for four days and as you know its been very warm!!! On sunday it occurred to me that they hadn't showered so I said "have you guys showered this weekend!!? " To which I got an awkward stare and silence like they'd been caught out!!!! He's always been pretty useless but now it's getting to the point that I'm losing respect for him and don't even want to be home with them as it is making me so angry!!!! Yes I know that they can sort their own hygiene out but they clearly aren't and he will do absolutely nothing about it!! Yes I can step in but if I do I get told to butt out... Also they're his responsibility!! How do I bring this up without getting a barrage of abuse!!!!

Get divorced?

A shit father is a shit partner
get divorced

If you highlight this to receive a barrage of abuse he’s not the man for you . He is leading those kids to trouble. Imagine what they’ll be like in 2/3 yrs time .

You don’t bring it up. If they stink and you have to smell their BO then feel free to to tell them, but it is not a step parents place to influence parenting. Either support what your partner does or check out and ignore it, but don’t try and control what he does or doesn’t do. That always ends badly for everyone involved.

Your partner and his children are never going to thank you for parenting opinions, so you are all better off if you either accept it for what it is or leave the relationship.

A man who has chosen to fail as a parent and abuse his wife is not fit to be a parent, or to remain married.
Choose a life a happiness and peace.

Why would you expect a barrage of abuse?

Ins time his boy slept in his sports kit!!! I didn't know until the next morning so commented that he must shower after sleeping in sweaty clothes! Thats when I got told to butt out. Another time he gave them chocolate at like 10pm so I said brush your teeth or the sugar will sit on your teeth all night... He just laughed at me!!!!

That’s called neglect. What he is doing is neglect. Not really sure why yet another woman stays married to a man who neglects his children.

I think that poster was asking why you'd expect to be abused, in happy, life enhancing marriages that's not a thing.

You don't need to be around any of these people, you can choose a life of happiness.

I am horrified OP! I would have intervened for the sake of the DC but I guess others might tell you not to get involved.

He sounds lazy! I couldn’t be with someone who neglects his children in this way.

Leave this shitty man.
He's neglecting this children and verbally abusive to you? I wouldn't find that attractive.

I find this hard to believe. Why are you with him if he’s showing you how he ‘parents’? He’s a bad person.

Did you move into his house or has he cocklodged in yours @TheOP2 ?

He's a shit parent, he belittles you and sounds like he expects you to launder the sweaty clothes. What's keeping you with him?

Sounds like my ex. It's sheer laziness and neglect, plus a nasty desire to show he can ignore your valid advice.

Don't waste your time with him, and definitely don't have children with him. He's not fit to be a father. Leave and look for someone decent.

It was 10 year old and 13 year old girls on the same thread yesterday.

What's going on here?

That's such a shit answer.

Oh just let him neglect them, why do you care? How dare you worry about the welfare of kids

Why would you be wity someone who'd give you a barrage of abuse? You need to leave him, and I'd be telling their Mom how badly the kids are looked after

Yesterday you posted that one of them was a girl, questions about them showering. You've posted before about not liking it when your step children visit. I would assume you're somebody with an unhealthy interest in discussing young people showering etc.

Well shes not going to be able to stop him Is she?

OP- this guy isn’t worth the hassle

You posted this yesterday but they were girls.

This post was on here just a day or two ago. With the exact same kind of wording about them “staring” at you. In the other thread it was 2 girls.

I really couldn't ever get turned on by someone so utterly useless. I presume you're not having sex with this poor excuse for an adult?
honestly the only answer is let their mum know, then leave him.

This is spot on. My kids are 21 and 18 and the youngest can be a bit lazy on the hygiene front. He does brush his teeth because he hates fillings and gets embarrassed, but I do often have to just tell him that he needs to get in the bloody shower. Even now. And he’s actually a great lad on the whole. Strangely is happy to shower, and clean his room etc if his girlfriend is coming round though, and without prompting so there is hope.

OP is this is some kind of experiment to see what the responses will be if you say the kids are girls or boys? Because in the last thread they were girls and everyone was telling you to butt out and the kids should be able to decide for themselves when and how often they shower. Now it’s boys and everyone is saying your husband is a cunt.

So what’s the deal with writing the same post twice and switching the genders? 🤔

If you are genuine, then looking back at all your other posts you have serious issues. Why are you with someone you hate so much and whose children you clearly also despise?

I'd dump a man who is such a shit parent. I'd literally lose all respect for him. You shouldn't have to step in and say anything, he should be parenting his children properly. Just dump!