Potty training a resistant three year old, is this pattern normal?

[CynicalSunni]

I am trying for the umpteenth time to potty train my 3 year old and am determined to crack it this time.

She has been resistant to it from the first attempt when she was about 14 months i think. All the advice said was stop and start again in a month etc. We cant really keep doing that.

We started again on Saturday and there has been less resistance but i want to check a few things.

The first pee of the day she holds for an age before finally letting go. I have to keep taking her to the potty even though she is dancing around.

Then after the first pee she does take herself to the potty but doesnt completey void her bladder. Its a small dribble but then wipes herself etc.
Then after 10 mins I have to bring her back and she does a full pee. Is this normal?

So far one poo in the potty. But rest have been on nappy we put her in for bed. For example last night she cut her bath short because she wanted to poo im her nappy

There might be some autism she is on a waiting list and she is having speech therapy.

Have you tried getting a seat and steps for the toilet? Mine never used a potty and was straight on the toilet. We still had issues, it wasn’t straight forward. Never had a poo accident luckily. Lots of wee accidents. It took a few months before she even told us she needed a wee. She was younger though, so it might be easier for yours to tell you.

This was a long time ago...but my stepmother cracked my brother's reluctance by telling him in exasperation he was quite old enough now to use a potty and they were fed up with him not getting on with it! He was, and he did - never needed another nappy...!

Why are you potty training a RESISTANT 3 year old? Why are they resistant? Are they just not ready? Some children get to nearly 4 and then just decide through watching other children at nursery being independent or watching parents that they want to do it too and they're off! I don't know your child or situation so trying not to judge, but the question I keep repeating to people is why do we have to train our kids to do things before they're ready? Perhaps your child just isn't interested yet? They likely will be soon. I've seen a lot of emotional trauma - yes trauma - from parents training too early. Just something to bear in mind xxx

What type of diapers are you using? We couldn't get my daughter potty trained while she had the diaper option: disposable ones wicked the urine away and are comfortable. When we took them away and made her wear cotton undies she hated the feel.of cold wet undies and learned in 24 hours.

Really sorry, must be stressful. Others may have said (haven't read whole thread but have read all your posts) - Have you tried not using the potty and having her use the toilet? With a step and/or seat reducer. Some kids take against the potty and that can be a way to bypass it.

My grandson is totally the opposite at times . He won't poop his nappy but then will use his potty for a piddle. Then for reasons I can't disclose . Will use his pad constantly. I don't want anybody bashing me on my comment. I will just add court ordered and not me and my family

My son was slightly similar this time last year when training. He hated using the potty so we went straight to the toilet. Could she be similar? He didn’t have an issue with pees but poos can take a long time. He’d hold on for so long, sometimes all day, to avoid going to the toilet or potty. In the end we took the pressure off and allowed him to use the nappy for poos but put the nappy on only for that and took him into the toilet to let him do it. Then we let him do it in the nappy but sitting on the toilet then eventually tried to loosen the nappy on the toilet over time until it was fully gone and he could use the toilet with no nappy. When we knew he needed a poo we had to try and “force” it out of him by getting him really active. We’d put on music and dance around like crazy until he could no longer hold it and we’d quickly put him on the toilet before the feeling passed and make SUCH a big deal about it when it happened. Small bribes like chocolate didn’t work for us but at times I did resort to offering big toys for poos on the toilet 😅

Toilet training was probably the thing I found hardest and I had a 6mo baby to humph around with me when running back and forward to the toilet too. Keep going though, you’re doing so well. My son was quite quick at picking up everything else so expected toilet training to be the same. Was not prepared for how much of a slow and steady effort it would be.

My daughter was 3, pressure from my mum to potty train so armed with training pants I tried… she stood and pee’d on the floor every time and just looked bemused .. slipped in it a few times as we have hard floors. By the end of the day I just bathed her and put her nappy on and as my DH walked in I walked out.. I needed to remove myself after a day of being patient and saying ‘whoops, let’s do the next one on the potty’’…
I waited a couple of months and got a few things out the way (holidays etc) then tried again. She refused the potty and wanted to use the toilet, so we got a special seat and little stairs to the loo. Every single wee was on the toilet and every time she went I made a huge song and dance about it and made up a pre pee song and clapped etc.. she laughed and was incredibly pleased with herself.. day 2 she pee’d on the floor and when I said ‘oh dear, where will we do the next one, she’d say ‘on the floor!!!’ I didn’t react, bathed her and put her to bed then screamed into a pillow (not literally - but was so frustrating)… day 3 - every pee on the toilet and she never ever had an accident again l. Cracked it.

I’d try to create a routine that the second she gets up she sits on the potty, tell her she needs to wee before going down to breakfast.. Maybe draw a chart so it’s visual that she can get up, wee, have breakfast, clean teeth etc
Try to keep her on the potty till she’s emptied her bladder, make it fun, make up a story about a little girl called (DD’s name) who was SOoooo clever and did her pee pee on the potty!

poo’s were harder here as DD hated doing them in front of anyone and thought it was smelly and gross. I went to library and rented out books about ‘everyone has to poop’ and read these with her, when she did poop we waved goodbye to poo and said he was off to join his poo family..

The key was to make it fun and not get cross/frustrated as then they’ll react upset/cross etc and not want to do it.

I would say to get the weeing perfect first (maybe a week or two - tell her she’s done so well and then introduce the idea that poo poo needs to go down the toilet too.
maybe a sticker chart for when she pops in the toilet and a tiny pack of haribo or dried fruit or whatever she’d see as a reward. Even a pretty shiny sticky on her top as a reward which she can then tell dad/nan or whoever that she got because she was so clever. And everyone claps and tells her well done!

GOOD LUCK X

what worked for mine was to make potty time fun.. i know it’s not recommended but a baby shark potty song in the first instances, then celebrating (potty party 🤦🏻‍♀️ ) and stickers whenever they use the potty. had very few issues.