Will nappy changing always be so stressful?

[overzealousdad]

Hi guys,

My son was born in Monday (6 days old) and I'm still learning how to change his nappy.

I've been trying to do as much of the nappy changing as I can as I want to support my wife but I'm finding it very emotionally challenging!

I've become a bit of a germaphobe and changing his nappy frightens me as I don't want to wipe it the wrong way and somehow infect him with something. I'm very careful. Then his umbilical cord stump has fallen off so I'm worried about touching that. He wees EVERYWHERE when I'm trying to change him and the hygiene impact of that worrys me. Then, is his bum clean enough? What about his willy? Am I drying his butt enough? Nappy rash...

All of that fly's around my head all the while he screams at the top of his lungs....

I've just changed his nappy and I've had to leave him with my wife as I feel little shaken up.

Will nappy changing always be like this? Are there ways to make it easier? Do I need to just man up?

It's exhausting...

Anyway, let's see how it goes.

I know the screaming can be a bit stressful but your wife gave birth 6 days ago and you've just handed the baby back to her because you are shaken up by a nappy change...

Time for a head wobble.

They are extremely robust little creatures and nothing bad is going to happen if you don't get every teeny tiny bit of poo off and wee is sterile.

If you're that worried use baby wipes and then a warm wet flannel to finish.

If you’re a germaphobe, would you feel more comfortable if you wore gloves?

It will get easier. You’re doing fine. The worst that can happen to the baby is rash, which is easy to solve with cream, and the worst that can happen to you is that you have to change your outfit and or the baby’s outfit.

Won’t help your germ thing but a trick to stop the crying - buy one of those little music boxes with spinning dancing characters and pop it in baby’s eyeline, ideally next to them. It distracts and they love the music, and try and watch the figures. Meanwhile you get the nappy changed asap!
https://amzn.eu/d/0hie6fDh

Once they stop crying during it then it’s much better; I used to put a muslin on the mat so it wasn’t so cold for my babies. Also they stop weeing so much and you get better at holding the nappy over when they do

Two things here: it will get easier as you get used to doing it. You’re learning a new skill with a new human. You have no idea what you’re doing yet. Once you do, it will get easier.

Second, I would keep an eye on your anxiety. I developed postnatal anxiety and OCD with my first. It’s not uncommon. Don’t let it make you miserable. Do mention it to your GP and HV if it doesn’t settle.

It will definitely get easier but only with practice, noone instantly knows how to change a nappy. Definitely try and distract to keep him calm but wee comes out sterile so as long as you wipe it away then it will be fine. Keep cleaning his bum until the cotton wool/wipes are coming back clean and you can't see anything there. That will be fine. Make sure to dry his bum with a towel or muslin then plenty of cream and fresh nappy.

You will find this less stressful but try not to keep handing him back to your wife after every change so you can recover- your wife will be recovering from a massive physical, emotional event and will need your support now more than ever doing the practical things.

Keep doing what your are doing, I'm sure you're doing a great job, you clearly care a great deal about getting it right so he's in good hands.

Newborn nappies are the easy days. It's an absolute nightmare trying to change toddler nappies!

Oh yes, the joys of trying to hold down a toddler whilst changing a dirty nappy they're trying to grab hold of 😱 Keep at it op, you'll find it clicks and you become a master in no time

I kind of disagree. I mean, you're right about toddler nappy changing 😱😱😱

But newborn nappies are tough in a different way. Their tiny legs can be so scrawny and chicken like, and they feel so worryingly delicate. Then when they sound like you're torturing them at the same time it can make it quite scary initially.

But yes, when they are running around, fighting you about it, and you have to use your legs to pin them whilst you change them, the new nappies where they just lie there and scream feel like a doddle.

Good job this parenting thing has a learning curve built in!

Wtf? You’ll be fine. Stop handing him back. Your wife just pushed him out of her body in screaming agony, you can manage to change his bum.

Not changing a nappy is more unhygienic than changing one.

Oh what a lovely lot of questions!
Not many people try so hard to get it right!!
So -
Babies are terrifyingly resilient ... and you're not - just at the moment.
Boys do 'wee everywhere' ... it's clean/sterile (fresh wee was used in medical emergencies/on battlefields etc to clean wounds).
You're obviously trying to do your very best ... welcome to the rest of your life!
You will be wiping/drying etc properly. You are doing everything as best you can - it will be enough now ... and it will be enough in the future.
you'll get used to it.
Try (I know, I know) to enjoy more and worry less ... it gets easier.
They survive mainly in spite of, not because of, us.

You’re shaken up by a nappy change? This isn’t real I’m sorry

Oh bless you. I didn’t have the germaphobe thing but you just unlocked a memory for me that every time I took my son’s nappy off to change, he screamed blue murder. I cried every time I did it for the first week or so. It will get better. And you sound like a great parent

Oh go away

@mrsscroodledoodle

You're absolutely right! That's why I was wracked with so much guilt. You'll be glad to know I decided to become the exclusive nappy changer in this house so as long as I'm not at work my wife doesn't change any nappies anymore.

Being honest it still is very unsettling for me as he does scream a lot, the fear of having hurt him somehow or if I did something wrong still really bothers me but I should have faith that I've done everything I can to make it as quick and as comfortable as I can.

Thank you! :)

@comfyshoes2022

I did consider gloves, I have a lot of them around the house for various things but they feel wrong and I can't guage how dry his skin is.

I think hand washing before and after is going to have to do and at some point I'm going to have to learn that nappy changing is a completely normal activity and my son is robust enough to have his bottom wiped! :)

I've been doing all the nappy changing since I wrote the first message and although it is uncomfortable I've been managing it. I suppose it's been getting easier with each nappy.

He wees like a champion! I've become more adept with catching his stray streams, haha. I think next time I might have him a minute with an undone nappy to allow him to have a wee before nappy changing starts in earnest.

Thank you for your reassuring words :)

@Iamthemoom

I'd wondered in general about how effective toys like that would be. I did talk to my wife about trying to use some toys we had but is 8 days told too early? All I can do is try I guess. The changing table is pretty small but perhaps we can get something that clips on?

Thank you for the tip! :)

@Kvfihi

That is such a GREAT IDEA! I used to use hand towels at hospital but a muslin cloth works better and it's not cold. I can just throw them into the wash after and I think I've been gifted loads of them.

Thank you :)

@mindutopia

A great point, thank you. My wife and I have had a discussion about that and she made the exact same, insightful comment. Because of my wife's gentle prompting I am very aware that I am developing this fear. I've been managing it with self talk, telling myself hand washing is sufficient and reasonable and I've taken over the nappy changing almost exclusively. The hope is that I will get used to it and get faster at it.

I've already reached out to a counsellor via an Employeee Assistance Program my work offers.

Thank you for the tip and your reassuring words :)