Why are my children such hard work together?

[isthisaplum]

They have thrown all the cushions off the sofas and onto the floor. Not a massive big deal; I can put them back (although it’s a pain) but they would never do that if just one of them was here. Together they do the stupidest stuff which inevitably involves some sort of mess or argument.

I used to wonder why parents dressed the summer holidays; I know now. Does anyone else find this?

Sorry OP, my comment wasn’t directed at you. It was to a smug poster whose children would never dream of behaving badly.

I hear you and I think my kids sound quite similar

No totally I didn’t think it was!

I do take a lot of the ‘well my kids were well behaved’ comments with a massive pinch of salt anyway. I just know it’s going to be followed by ‘they are grown up now’ and sure enough I was right! Time is a healer and also acts as a form of amnesia.

That picture is wonderful, what creative ,resourceful children you are bringing up 😁

Classic mumsnet, opportunity to get right in there with both a dog to the OP and a boast about how perfect your angels are. It's so boring.

Oh it’s definitely a thing! My two love making obstacle courses and zoos, solo they tend not to bother but when they are together they will make elaborate obstacle courses using sofa cushions, furniture, random objects all over the house, or a zoo with animal displays in every room that I then have to buy a ticket for and get shown round.

But annoying as the clean-up can be, I also think that it’s the best of kids playing together so I won’t stop it. I don’t really care about my sofa cushions or furniture being moved around but I do care about them playing together and all the benefits that brings.

As long as they are playing together and not killing each other, everything will be OK, OP! Just hang in there, although I appreciate that it's difficult in July, and when you're the one who ends up doing the bulk of the tidying up. When I was teaching a play-based Reception, we would just put on a song and everyone had to join in, apart from the TA who stood in front of the loos to stop certain children from hiding in there so that they didn't have to tidy up.

My mother always had the mantra of, "As long as I can shut the door on it, it's fine!" She obviously lowered her standards considerably, judging by how tidy the house was as we got older and started to ignore each other. My sibling has since complained that her house is too clinical, and that their house is like a bombsite of toys whenever she looks after her grandson.

Mine have got some play dough out … help!

Well just whip an ipad out then! Seems to be today's solution (and cause). Just because my children are older doesn't mean I don't know if they were naughty or not. I'm in my 40s i don't have memory issues.

I don’t for a moment think you have memory issues. I do think that the passage of time romanticises and softens some of the harder bits so our memories give us an unbalanced view. A while ago I was looking through my NCT group chat and searching for something and came across me lamenting my battles with my then two and a half year old and bedtime. In my memory bedtime with ds has always been really easy, I don’t have children who need me to stay with them to go to sleep but evidently there was a phase of it. I just don’t remember and that’s from three years ago so from twenty plus years ago goodness knows.

To be honest your first reply was unpleasant (as is the one I am replying to) so it can’t get a surprise when the replies it elicits are also unpleasant.

I am sorry if me saying that my children wouldn't have been allowed to fight or wreck the furniture was unpleasant, fine I can accept that. I genuinely apologise for a tactless response.

And yes I had other issues, of course! But that wasn't what you were asking. I'll leave you to it now. I realIse this was just a thread for people to come and complain about their children. Good luck with the summer hols!

Well, it was unpleasant and I don’t really believe you don’t know it was.

It is one thing to say ‘siblings can be more challenging together, one way I managed this was by having very strict rules’ which is fine. But the response just sort of shut down any further discussion - no, mine behaved.

But I suppose this is the point; mine will do things together that they just don’t when there’s only one of them! It wouldn’t have occurred to me I needed a rule about ‘don’t take the cushions off the sofa’.

Most children can be silly and do silly things, but it’s definitely ramped up when they are together. (They don’t have iPads, by the way.)

Let them play to their hearts content, then leave it out. It’ll dry up and will need to be thrown away. SUCH A SHAME.

I think it’s easy to say “mine would never do that!” etc but we have to remember everyone’s circumstances and children are different. Less stay at home parents for a start. The classic squeezed middle of having to think about kids and parents whilst working full time. For example my mum likes to tell me she knows how I feel except she had her last child at 25 and never worked compared to me working full time and having mine much later. It’s not the same!

Even in school they use devices for teaching. If only kids these days were entertained by imagination alone.

Always one.

I’m going to guess you also never call them nob heads or wish they’d fuck off a leave you alone for half an hour?

Why not let them play in a den of cushions for a while and then get them to work as a team to put them back.
Alternatively put the paddling pool outside and an umbrella and let them enjoy the warm weather splashing and having fun!