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Parenting

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How to help DS with absent father

5 replies

AvANA · 14/07/2026 20:34

My son is really bothered by not having a dad, and I’m not sure how best to help him with it.

He often says things like, “I wish I had a dad,” or, “I wish I had a better dad.” The other day he was telling me a story about a boy and his dad, and when he’d finished he said, “Why can’t I do that, Mum?” I asked him why, and he just said, “Because I don’t have a dad.” It really got to me.

There aren’t any male family members in his life, so no grandad, uncle or anything like that. He has male teachers at school, but it’s obviously not the same. He’s also not into football or sports, so the usual suggestions about finding a male role model through a sports club don’t really apply.

Has anyone been through this? Did you find anything that helped? I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m enough or that mums can do everything dads can. I’m just wondering if anyone has experience of a child who really felt the absence of a father and how you handled it.

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cestlavielife · 14/07/2026 20:36

Get him into play therapy try your gp for referral

AvANA · 14/07/2026 21:09

Thank you ive had a look at this he may be on the older end for it but worth a try

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Girliefriendlikespuppies · 14/07/2026 21:38

My dd has a completely absent father and used to get really upset about it and say similiar things to your ds op.

How olds your ds? When dd was primary age we talked about families coming in different shapes and sizes, I always acknowledged that it is hard for her not having a dad and allowed her to be sad or angry about it.

It is a loss for them.

It seemed to get easier when dd started secondary school as she met other kids with absent parents or some with dads that weren’t great.

I always focused on the people she has who love her and support her.

Have you got any single parent friends? I did a couple of single parent holidays and they were good for both of us.

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AvANA · 14/07/2026 21:48

Hes 12 but hes found the opposite, so many of the kids have dads involved thats what I think is making him ask more now

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AvANA · 14/07/2026 22:03

Sorry should have included I know other single parents but the fathers are all involved so no lone parents sadly

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