Talk to me about bedtime routines please

[Fourlittlepiggies]

I’m at my wits end with bedtimes. I’m on mat leave and co-sleeping so have baby 24/7. Other dc are 4 and 6 (starting reception and Y2 in sept). Despite craft, playing with toys, playing games in the garden and eating well at dinner, it has taken me in excess of TWO HOURS to get them to sleep.

I am sick of losing my temper at bedtime and then feeling guilty. I don’t want to do bedtimes alone but unfortunately H is out twice this week (and every week).

Please talk to me about bedtimes / how long bedtime routines take in your house if you have similar aged dc. I feel like I have no time to breathe let alone eat dinner or look after myself and with the summer holidays looming, it’s only going to get worse.

It’s been an age since I had to do bedtime but when my partner left me with 3 kids under the age of 8 so they were 8, 4 and 2 I had to be really strict it was a do or die situation. We had no tv or anything after bath time which was always daily at 7pm. No going downstairs after bath time it was milk if they still drank it then straight to bed with a story for the two little ones and my eldest was allowed one more book with a lamp on for another 20 mins. I was really regimented made sure I had everything ready the next morning for the following night. Lots of fresh air and hour before dinner seemed to help too. Hang on in there it will pass!

Only one child, nearly 5 years old, so it’s a million times easier I’m sure! But we just put him to bed and he’s allowed to listen to his Yoto player until he falls asleep. He knows he won’t be allowed to keep the Yoto player if bedtimes aren’t quick and painless for us.

To be honest I view bedtimes the same way I do food. I cook one meal for breakfast/lunch/dinner and it’s up to him what he eats of it and how much he eats, but I don’t make anything else whatsoever. At bedtime it’s up to him how long he takes to drift off but bedtime is 7:30 and there will be no more Yoto if there’s even a whiff of faffing about. I provide the bath, bedtime story, cuddles and cosy dark room. He deals with the drifting off in his own time.

What does your husband suggest might work better, even if not immediately?

Bedtime is hard, especially alone.
Be very clear, if you do 2 alone for his hobbies and not work, then he does 2 alone. No whingeing, no coming for help.
take yourself out if needs be.

What are you classing as when starts?

The time between you actually putting them in bed, leaving them, saying goodnight and how long it takes them to fall asleep?

Or are you including everything in the lead up to it as well? (Bath, into PJ’s, stories, settling them etc)?

Sounds like I might need to be stricter!

The main issue I guess is I am attempting all of this whilst holding a sleeping bag/ getting frustrated if she gets woken up. The ideal would be to bath/ put her to bed first and then deal with the older ones but she won’t be put down….

@ScaredButUnavoidable I was classing bedtime as the time they were in bed/ I started reading. We had already done pjs and teeth downstairs (not the usual routine). Younger ds had the yoto in his bed and I was reading to the older dc but they were just bounding around, couldn’t lie still etc etc so I went downstairs. Up and down like a yoyo. Despite the outside time they just don’t seem tired at all.