Would room sharing work for siblings 4 years apart?

[koalabearboombox]

We have boy / girl siblings who are 4 years apart in age. Youngest is currently only 15 months and not sleeping great, so no moves planned just yet, but I'm wondering if room sharing could work for a few years in the future. Perhaps starting when youngest is 18-24m.

Reasons for this are that we really need our box room back (currently the babys room) for home working and ideally a spare bed as MIL stays over regularly.

I'm also wondering if room sharing could support a closer relationship between the two... Eldest is pretty keen to do it but he's obviously only 5 so we'd need to make the decision for him.

I'm imagining that we'd probably move house in about 4/5 years time at which point we could give them their own rooms. And age wise eldest would be 10ish and ready to have his own space.

Has anyone done this with siblings 4 years apart and have experiences to share?

I wouldn't, if there are alternatives options.

For example, could you put a bunk bed in the bigger room so that mil could share with your son when she stays over?

We did it for a few years, from when eldest was about 5 but by the time she was 8 she wanted her own room so she could have her friends play in there and occasionally sleep over.

We had the Kura bunk bed which worked pretty well for the time we used it.

It depends on the child, as some are genuinely happy to share at older ages though I think they would be in the minority, but I'd say 10 is too old. I'd want them in their own room by 8.

It works very well for us so far, elder one is 6.

7! Forgot how old my child was.

10 year olds are quite sexually curious so I'd not keep them together till this old. I have tween and teen daughters.I agree with a PP that around 8 is the limit.

MIL can stay in hotel, working from home can be done at the dining table.

Personally I’d give them their own rooms.

MIL can stay in hotel, working from home can be done at the dining table.

Personally I’d give them their own rooms.

MIL can stay in hotel, working from home can be done at the dining table.

Personally I’d give them their own rooms.

Room sharing could work until oldest moves to secondary but it could result in more mucking about at bedtime too l. The only way to know is to give it a go and see.

You and your husband could move into the second largest bedroom. Divide the largest bedroom into two with room dividers and shelving. Kept the box room as an office/guest room.

Can’t comment on the sex thing as I have two DDs. But my two shared and loved it. I remember once my eldest saying me to something along the lines of “I feel sorry for only children, because mummies and daddies have each other at night, and I have [sibling] but who do only children have at night? When we moved house, we gave them the choice and they chose to continue sharing a bedroom. We used the other room as an office. They had many happy times there, and now that they are late teens / early 20s, they still do the occasional sleepover together. They have many happy memories of sharing a room together, particularly playing together on a weekend morning. My eldest started wanting her own room when she was 9/10 and we separated them then. It was always a positive for us, and would certainly do you a few years.

My kids shared for a few years from when they were 1/4.5 to 4/8. It was okay but we needed a separate space for my daughter to play as my son would mess with or eat her Barbie’s and legos and such. So she had half the guest room (we are immigrants so need a spare bed for the 4 months or so of grandparent visits a year). They woke each other up sometimes but they’d also play and have sleepovers and such in each others beds. We moved when they were 4/8 and they’ve had their own rooms since - it was definitely time as my daughter wanted sleepovers and to play music and whatnot. Obviously plenty share much longer or always but if you can give them their own space that’s almost always better.

I have 3.5 years between mine (both boys). We lived in a 2 bed house so they shared from when youngest was 9 months. Never an issue. We moved when they were 7 and 4, they asked to keep sharing even though we had 3 bedrooms then. Had their own rooms from when oldest was 11 (their request.) I shared with by brother until I was about 9 I think (although we have a very small age gap.) The suggestions of making MIL stay in hotel or you having to work from the kitchen table just to make sure your young children have their own room are ridiculous. Most young children love sharing a room.

In an ideal world siblings would have their own room, but reality is something else, my girls are 9 and 5 and share and will have to continue to share , it works well enough , bump beds with the bottom bunk a double . Our third bedroom is downstairs but is needed as an office. We all play instruments , so Piano , guitars , amps etc all in there. The girls love their room and they know how lucky they are, some kids in their class are refugees and live in a hotel room . Our house is tiny but my girls have a garden to play in and are blessed in comparison and I’m proud that they recognise that sharing is not a hardship.

Mine are boy/girl and about 5 years apart. Realistically, no, I can’t see a time when it would have worked well. Even at 2 & 7, they had quite different bedtimes. 7 year old liked to play in her room before bed and listen to audiobooks and 2 year old should have already been asleep. It isn’t really fair to have your eldest have to have a toddler’s bed routine to accommodate home working and MIL’s occasional stays.

I had my desk in youngest’s room for a number of years and work from there during the day. Lots of colleagues work from their own bedrooms with a background up. Houseguests had to sleep on a blow up mattress on the lounge floor before we had a guest room or get an Airbnb. Alternatively, you could offer MIL your bed.

I have 3.5 years between mine and whilst they have their own rooms they frequently have ‘sleepovers’, even at ages 9 and 5, mostly because they enjoy it but also in this heat we only have 1 AC unit so can only cool 1 room. I think it would be fine OP so long as the eldest gets their own room for secondary. The only pinch for me would be when yours are around 2 and 6 and you’ll need to be careful about the eldest’s small piece toys like lego being a choking hazard for the youngest.

Mine shared happily until the eldest was 8.
By then the quieter one (the eldest) needed a oeaceful escape from her more boustourous younger sibling.

I'm totally talking only about different sex siblings. I have two DDs 11 and 15. They 11yo does often ask questions about boobs, period pants etc. She'd not developed but they have girls in her school started their periods in year 5. She often walks into 15 DDs room when she's changing. It's not so bad because DD15 knows her sister is the same sex. These are things I'm thinking of, not about bed times and the younger years.

Many swimming pool says children over 8 has to change in their own sex changing rooms for this reason. It's because they start getting curious.

Sorry but I don’t think room sharing will create a better bond. More likely arguments and tantrums because things are moved / get lost and they can’t escape each other. Based on the age gap likely that DS will get fed up as the younger DC will be constantly following them and wanting to play withi them / their toys.

Interesting thanks for all the input... I'm going to keep the option open and see how things are in a year or so. If they're keen they we can give it a go but good point above about different bedtimes and such. Will see!

No way.

My kids are 3 year apart, youngest is 2 and still a terrible sleeper.

We also both wfh and have relatives stay. My mum sleeps on the sofa.

No way would a take a room away from my kids.

Would something like this work? If your bedroom is larger, could you split it like the pic and move into the kids room?

My sister and I were two years apart and loved sharing a room until we were about 8 and 10 and got our own rooms. We stayed up late talking almost every night which drove my mum mad 🤣! My cousins were 4 years apart (both girls) and didn’t get along so well, they fought very often and got their own rooms at about 10 and 6.