To give a background
My two sons age 5& 4 and I moved home in mid may.
Camhs wrote a letter to my HA and requested they have their own rooms as my 5 year old has additional needs and has since been accepted onto the autism waiting list.
Their behavior where we lived before was difficult they are so close together in age and with my 5 year old needs some days were very hard, Family Acton visited for 12 weeks and gave tips but even they could find little that helped. CAMHS assured when they had their own space and outside space things would become easier, my 5 year old cannot cope with Soft Plays shopping etc so time outside was very limited.
They have now the bedroom each large garden with trampoline swing and sea saw set bikes scooters balls each has their own toys in bedrooms and a joint toy box downstairs.
The behavior from them both is getting worse not better, Tuesday just gone I had my eldest here his 15 and lives with dad but comes 3 times a week, the trip to take him home is not new to them, but the whole way there they argued slapping each other 5 year old bit my 4 year old this is on the motorway, after dropping my eldest home I pulled into a car park near by and said to them both, mummy has to look at the road we need to get along, 10 mins into 25 mins journey back chaos erupted more biting screaming. Tied with their behavior before we left since coming home from school Tuesday evening I sat at dining table and broke down in tears.
Every single day is a battle to get through if they are not fighting arguing they like this afternoon I sent them both upstairs in the paddling pool they had started fighting as water splashed my 5 year old and so they were sent upstairs.
5 mins later heard a bang toy cube unit emptied toys being flung across the room.
I am reaching breaking point I am on edge with the behavior as it's never ending, all the tips from incredible years parenting classes have little effect.
I get every other weekend off as me and dad are not together, they do argue but he says nothing like what I experience.
To give a further example my neighbor came across the other evening and my 4 year old got to the fence first so 5 year old came behind and started hitting him repeatedly, separated them and sent 5 year old indoors, both back outside 15 mins later they started running around together and next thing my 5 year old is going hell to leather on 4 year old, who was left with bite marks and a bleeding nose.
My 4 year old is no angel but when away from his brother is very manageable but clearly has some needs too I think as do nursery and camhs that he has no additional needs but because of his brother he is very guarded with toys and very determined when he does not want to do something.
Any advice please I an literally at breaking point.