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Parenting

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Constant nagging

1 reply

lost19 · 11/07/2026 17:13

I am struggling with my husband and his constant criticism. I work full time (well, have one day a week with my child), am the primary carer of the children, do 99% of drop off, pick up, manage all school comms, our social life, the kids extra curricular, the house, take on bulk of tidying (I think, mainly due to working from home). He leaves the house, I do breakfast, get myself ready, get kids out the door, back for a full days of work, collect them and then try my hardest to fit housework in too. If something hasn’t been done (like, the dishwasher hasn’t been emptied for the second time that day(, I don’t hear the end of it. I hear signing, PA comments, or a why hasn’t this been done. I left an envelope on the side the other day, never heard the end of it. I have to say I rarely get a nice comment, never hear anything but negativity - I could take the points a lot better if for once I heard something like a thank u or a compliment. It’s presented as if I do nothing and it’s really getting me down: I’ve told him this and was met with ‘you’ve done something wrong, don’t turn this into me’. So it is v hard to have an adult conversation with him. This isn’t to say he does nothing, he does an awful lot. But sure when we both know how busy we are, it’s not healthy to just pull people up on what they are yet to do? I really don’t think he gets how insane school is too and the mental load that comes with it (he doesn’t even have the school classroom log in and doesn’t know how to complete the treading log, despite her being at school for four years now). If I dare bring this up it’s met with such defence. Not sure what to do and how to make him realise what I actually do and that sometimes I can’t (and won’t) do it all. V stuck

OP posts:
HatStickBoots · 11/07/2026 17:36

How awful for you, I know exactly what this is like. He’s tearing you down and before you know it your confidence will be in pieces. From what you’ve said about his inability to even talk about anything without becoming a victim, you’ll end up being miserable in silence. Is he constantly picking at you in the hopes of getting a reaction which leads to an argument? If so, I can’t see this getting better, he just wants to take his stress out on you and doesn’t want an equal partnership. He sounds extremely petty and entitled. Remember your children see you as role models, so how you are treated will become their normal.

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