Youngest in the year - what would you do / have you done?

[Izzasaurus]

My DD is the only child in the family on both my DH's side and mine, and I don't have any close friends with children, so I feel a bit short on sources of advice and would be really grateful for anyone's thoughts!

DD will be 3 this August. She's an end-of-August kid so will be the youngest in her school year unless I hold her back.

I know I still have a bit of time to decide but I would love to hear other people's advice and experiences. For context, DD has been in nursery full time since my MAT leave ended and will be moving up to the pre-school there in September, but sadly won't be able to attend the primary school associated with the pre-school, so those friendships will likely be lost except for the ones I can actively help her keep up with through parent mates.

She seems on track with things for her age. My main point of comparison are the other kids in her nursery group, all of whom are older. She seems to hold her own with them. She's chatty, socially and physically confident, very articulate (can already out-debate me if I'm not careful... although I do set quite a low bar for her in that regard...), and decent at following instructions most of the time. Not great with drawing / precise mark-making but starting to be more interested. Can recognise and do the right phonic sounds for most letters. Out of nappies for a year now. My impression is that she'll be fine starting school a year in September.

But a couple of things have given me pause. I know that achievement-wise, kids born late in the year tend to do worse. I know from my own personal experience that being very young in the year can be a bit rubbish in other ways. A couple of people have told me they definitely plan to keep their summer-born kids back so that they can have more time with them and give them more space to grow in confidence. And given that I could possibly afford to drop some hours in future, I'm wondering whether having the chance to get lots of 1:1 extra time with DD before she starts primary school might be a lovely thing for us both. I feel I've missed out on so much with her by being full time.

Then again... as I can't give up work completely, perhaps she'll end up really bored on the days when she would be left still attending pre-school... I also don't want to do her a disservice if she's ready to progress.

All views would be very welcome!

Ask yourself if she was born on 1 September, would you be trying to send her a year early? That was my thinking. The answer was no so I deferred and she is thriving about to go into year 3. Reception at 4 may be ok as there is lots of play but going into y1 at just-turned-5 can be hard. That’s another thing that was on my mind when making the decision.

My youngest started school a week after her 4 th birthday. She loved it, never struggled and ended up a straight A student all round and had also never attended a nursery, just a few mornings of preschool, so if your DD is not showing any signs she might strugglev she will likely be fine.

My youngest started school a week after her 4 th birthday. She loved it, never struggled and ended up a straight A student all round and had also never attended a nursery, just a few mornings of preschool, so if your DD is not showing any signs she might strugglev she will likely be fine.

I have 2 summer born dds, my youngest in August. i did not keep them back a year.

they were fine at school but it has been year 11 and then sixth form where they have really excelled.

In feel the age difference has actually affected them for a while in school but this has kept the pressure off - higher sets but not top which they may well have been if college is anything to go by.

Unless you have concerns in terms of development etc, I'd send her to school in her normal year group. I'm summer born myself, as is my daughter and it suited both of us to go to school as planned. I did consider deferring for my daughter, especially as she needed some speech and language support when she was 3 - but the school nursery were fabulous and picked up on this, one term of support and we all agreed she'd be just fine going into reception as planned. She's now coming to the end of year 2 and 'exceeding expectations' in most areas of learning, so nor regrets!

I agree.

I wouldn't worry she sounds more switched on than some kids born in September or October!
Leave her in the correct year group for her age.

Maybe you can talk to the school about a gradual part time timetable if you are worried the days will be too long etc.

And please don't overthink the friendship group she is way too young and will meet new friends at her school.

X

My first child was the youngest in his year. My second and third were nearly the oldest.
My eldest ws totally ready and thrived far more than his younger 2 siblings who had almost a year on him when they started school.
I think it's very child dependent, and while it's the correct decision for some summer borns your daughter probably isn't one of them.
She Certinally won't thank you for it in year 11!!

Mine is youngest in year and doing amazingly, it is hard when they are little to see the big picture but I truly believe mine learned resilience and the value of hard work early on by not always being the best. She is now top-ish academically and middle ground sport. My advice would be to keep calm and not worry - you will make the right decision.

My DS is an end of July baby and had some developmental delay but still started school at 4.

He went to a tiny rural primary where the children got lots of individual support. However once he started school it became clear he had other challenges and eventually (much later) it emerged he had a very rare disability. In addition to this he was very young for his age. Because of this we delayed his move to secondary school and he did an extra year at primary which was definitely right for him.

This is a lengthy way of saying each child is individual and you can adapt if you find out your child is struggling at a later date.

It sounds as though academically she'll be fine either way so the decision really is whether you want to spend more time with her at home before she starts school. You've already said that's one thing you're debating, I'm of the mind that you'll never get this time back with her so why would you not take it if you can but it's obviously something individual to your particular circumstances and only you can decide.

I wouldn't worry about her being bored, that's something of an imagined concern - people don't generally worry about that for children born in September, they just get on with it.

My DD is delayed, super capable and thriving. Not at all bored and in no way pining that she 'could' be in the year above.

I have a DC who is an end of August baby and I didn't defer. I had zero academic expectations though and assumed they'd catch up in their own time, which by the end of Year 2 they were at expected with everything and passed SATs no problems.
Emotionally they struggled, but actually I think a lot of that was the school and particular cohort they were in.
We moved house at the end of Year 3 and moved to a village school with mixed year groups, and they have thrived faster academically and actually enjoys school now, no major emotional support required.
I'm not sure what the answer is but your DD sounds like she can access and enjoy the school provision and may be bored of preschool by the September she's due to leave anyway.

Hi again OP from my point of view I felt I was doing best I could on my contract by being there some afternoons after school. In the first term she was shattered after school (much later diagnosed as autistic but we didn’t have a clue then) so I was glad to be there having quiet time with her.

My daughter is 31st August and we didn’t hold her back. She is in year 7 and is doing fine, is in top sets for most things and socially is good.

I obviously would have also said it was great if we held her back as you deal with whatever situation you find yourself in.

It’ll all work out whatever you do.